Full Moon
by Ongaku no Usagi
Summary: Sequel to "Waning Moon, Waxing Moon". Kurapika's revenge is complete, but, still unsatisfied, and haunted by the nen-ghost of Kuroro, he bands together the scattered remains of the Spiders and begins a new type of quest.
1. Chapter 1

Full Moon: The Reforming of the Spiders

a Hunter X Hunter fanfic

_by Ongaku no Usagi_

**Disclaimer:** Hunter X Hunter belongs to Togashi Yoshihiro. This applies for all subsequent chapters of "Full Moon: The Reforming of the Spiders"

Chapter 1:

**Music Suggestion: **Butterflies and Hurricanes by Muse

_"It is time to reband the Spiders."_

His words fell on ears that, although half-expecting his announcement, yet were surprised all the same. The Chain-User, dreaded man, delicate boy-child, calmly telling them of his intent to bring the Spiders back from headless destruction.

Shalnark was the first to respond. The rest of the Spiders, who had not already been destroyed by Kurapika before he had killed Kuroro, looked to him as their leader because of his superior intellect, decision making and natural charisma. It was to be expected that if anyone had anything to say to Kurapika's proposition, it would be him. So they all waited for him to speak and voice their intentions, unspoken or not yet put into thought.

"What is your purpose in rebanding the Spiders?" he asked, dead seriously, also curiously. If he could guess anything from his second-hand encounters with the Chain User, it was that this young man rivaled Ubo in strength, Danchou in cunning, and himself in intellect. Whatever he said was well worth considering and also testing for traps.

The Kuruta standing before them sighed as he looked down, clearly deciding how he should carefully word his intentions, his lips silently forming the beginning of words and his eyes searching back and forth in the manner of one who is thinking deeply. Finally, he looked up and said, simply, "The original intent of the Spider will not change." He met the shocked gazes of his future compatriots calmly. "Yes, the Spiders will continue as thieves, as murderers, and philanthropists. The missions will be my decision. What you do in the remaining time is up to you." He casually flexed the fingers of his right hand, letting the soft jingle of the miniature chains ring in the broken cement room they were meeting in. "Are there any disagreements?" he asked softly, even effeminately, threat lingering in every smooth vowel.

Shalnark heard Bolonolev swallow uncertainly next to him as Coltopi and Kalluto shifted. He caught Shizuku's eye quickly. All of their eyes were trained on those chains. They knew what Paku had sacrificed her life to warn them about; there was a specific chain which they could only use against them, but which Ubo could not even break. In other words, any argument with him could only end in their demise. Even if they attacked stealthily and simultaneously. Shalnark could guess that the blond standing in front of them was the kind to hide one invincible technique behind another; in other words, if he had an invincible chain and knew that they knew about it, he had something even more threatening which none of them knew about.

"What are your conditions?" Coltopi asked.

"Complete devotion to the Spider," Kurapika said simply. "And allegiance to the Head."

"Who is?"

He looked at each them, with a smile which was neither evil nor threatening, but an unnamed mixture of both. "That should be obvious already," he whispered. "After all, did I not defeat your previous Head? His number goes to me. Or rather, I will remake his number."

Shalnark knew there was no choice available to them but the one he wanted them to pick. Furthermore, the five of them together had discussed what they would do if such a situation arose. Their answer had been unanimous: It is not the individual to survive, but the Spider. There would be no more Pakunodas.

"We accept."

.

He was there again, as he had been every night since his death. At first the other deceased Spiders had showed up, too, but after Danchou's death, they had faded away, at his posthumous command.

Kurapika had attempted to nullify the effects. He had tried to force himself to stay awake, or to drop off to sleep instantaneously, but to no avail. Thus, at this semi-conscious state just before dreamland intervened, that form, like a half-developed 3-D photograph, yet still completely corporeal, appeared in his mind's eye as though it were a physical place.

Kuroro Lucifer.

It was because he knew that he had the tendency to respond half-audibly that he insisted on spending the night alone by himself. His paranoia of any of the other Spiders hearing any incriminating words of passion and doubt, removed from his cold, calculating exterior, made him actually threaten to kill anyone who entered the room he chose at their various locations.

Kurapika was always aware of a sort of out-of-body experience during these times; even though he controlled what he said and did, he could see himself do them. There had been fights in the past, physically destroying each other, though never actually able to kill each other. After awhile, they both grew tired of the never-ending cycle of relentless blows, and had settled on mentally tormenting the other. At least until Kurapika really fell asleep.

Tonight was no exception. As he opened the mental door that lead to his self-conscious (it was always a black door, inlaid with mother-of-pearl geometrical designs, like fine antique furniture), he saw Kuroro standing there in that room, devoid of walls, ceiling, floor; only another door on the other side which he would pass through into actual sleep. Kurapika's dream-state was ridiculously formatted, though he could never figure out why.

Kuroro was sitting (on what?) and staring at him. Was he two feet away? Twenty? Kurapika never knew, not even when they fought. There was long silence.

"Say something," said the Kuruta at last, irritated with Kuroro's unblinking stare.

The other man gave no response except a small curved smile. An immaterial clock ticked somewhere in the room with no walls.

"You realize I just reformed the Spider today."

"I noticed."

"And? You have nothing to say about it?"

Silence.

Kurapika couldn't hold in the irritation any longer and crossed the indeterminable non-space between the two of them in a single step. He grabbed Kuroro by the lapels of his non-existent shirt and drew him up to standing position. "Well? Doesn't it sicken you that I've taken the place of Head of your Spiders?"

The smile continued. Kurapika drew back an arm and struck him across the face, hard. It left a red swelling on the other man's cheek, but he continued smiling and did nothing in retaliation.

"Argh!" Kurapika tossed him away, so that he flew through space and then resumed his sitting position. He angrily crossed the room to where the second door (which was always the faded, chipped blue of an oceanside cottage) and sighed as he stared at it. It wouldn't open to his will; he had to wait for it to open, and in the meantime he was stuck with a mocking haunt.

As he leaned against the frameless door, he heard a voice from behind him, "Kuruta."

"What."

"You reforming the Spiders will only benefit me and them, and only harm you. That's why I don't care."

He raised eyes, burning red, even in his dream-state, and shot fiery daggers of thought at the other man. They came to corporeal form and pierced through the other man's pale form, passing harmlessly through. "What do you mean."

"Isn't it obvious? The Spider needs a head to continue. The other members can't function without one. You are the most suitable choice for it. You have skill, intelligence, and hatred in abundance. They are all necessary qualities for the man who would take my place."

Kurapika gritted his teeth. "You're wrong. Wrong!" The last shout echoed in a room without corners for sound to bounce off of. "I'm not filled with hatred, I've already taken it out on you! And your Spiders!"

"No, you are becoming Us."

Kurapika would have slaughtered the other undead man there, but the blue door opened and ushered him into blissful oblivion.

.

"I distrust him."

Shizuku put down the book she had been reading and continued her nonchalant gaze at Coltopi.

"We all do," Shalnark answered, from where he sat next to her. "But the Head of the Spiders should be a man who is untrustworthy."

"Untrustworthy, yes. But the untrustworthy naturally trust one another, and we are all untrustworthy. I still distrust him." He looked up at Kalluto, who entered the room with his usual uncanny silence and shut the door silently behind him. "Well?"

"Couldn't hear or sense anything through the door. But I didn't want to try that hard, either. No point getting killed over something like that."

Shalnark sighed. "It's not like it matters much, anyway. Who knows why he needs such privacy?"

"Maybe he's a girl and doesn't want us to find out," commented Bolonolev, picking up a rare gold coin he'd picked up somewhere while raiding and scrutinizing it disinterestedly. Coltopi snorted.

"Yeah, like that never happens with effeminate guys. It's too obvious. He's hiding something else."

"Well, no use worrying over it," said Shizuku, who had picked her book up again and was reading as she spoke. "I'm tired, anyway. Why don't we follow Tenno's example and get to sleep?"

"You're already calling him by that ridiculous name?"

"Why not?"

Coltopi sighed, blowing out his breath afterward so that his long green hair parted, granting a rare view of the lower portion of his mouth. "Why doesn't he just go by 'Danchou'? Exactly how much ego does he have, anyway, that he asks us to call him 'emperor'?"

"Perhaps he hates to be reminded of killing Danchou and doesn't want to take his name as a memento."

"Not likely. If he really felt remorse over killing Danchou, that sort of person would take the name to be constantly be punished by the reminder. No," Coltopi continued, "this is definitely a very different sort of person than the one we dealt with at York Shin. He has no conscience."

"Hmm," mused Bolonolev, touching his bandaged chin thoughtfully. "I really don't think a person can lose a conscience. He's either born with one or without. We were, Danchou was, all born without a conscience."

"Really?" whispered Shalnark, so that only Shizuku could hear. No, he thought to himself, we all have consciences. It's a matter of what has been locked away. If "Tenno" has locked away his conscience, something terrible must have happened to make it so. In any case, once that dam breaks, for any of us...He shuddered. He didn't want to consider the consequences.

Shizuku noticed his slight movement and touched his shoulder gently. "Shalnark, you okay? I'm heading to bed, why don't you come along?"

He sighed and rose. "You're right. In the morning, everyone."

After the two of them had left, the remaining three pondered for a moment. "Those two, they seem to be more in tune with each other recently," remarked Kalluto. Coltopi agreed with a silent nod. "All the recent missions, they've stuck close to each other and covered for one another constantly. Actually, they're a pretty ideal fighting team, don't you think."

"How so?"

"Shizuku is about the strongest, ditsiest girl of her type that come along. She specializes in instinctive physical battle. Shalnark is brainy, but in order to hatch his plans and use his manipulation, he needs cover. The two of them, they work well together."

"True."

"Well, I'm off," said Kalluto. "No telling what Tenno will be like in the morning, and I'd rather be rested for whatever it is."

Soon, the Spider nest slumbered.

.

Kurapika eyed the new marking carefully. Five years ago, no, even two years ago, he would absolutely have blanched if he could see what his future self had done. Now, there was little interest except in the peculiar design that now spread out over the back of his right hand.

It was small, especially compared to the designs Ubo and Hisoka had chosen, but it was much more elegant and intricate. The small black spider was no rakish replica of straight lines and bold curves, but looked so similar to a real spider that he wasn't quite sure how he'd manage to keep from smacking his hand with his other everything he saw it. Surrounding it were delicate chains, like a jeweled necklace, intertwining between the legs. In the middle was a large 0. In the end, he refused to take the former Danchou's number afterall.

"Thank you," he said briefly to the man who had done it. Said man leaned over the counter he was standing behind with a grin.

"Say, that's quite an obsession you've got, there," he said. "To actually get a Spider tattoo...that is the sort of tattoo they use, right? They're a tough group, but there are a lot of people who admire them. I've never actually seen anyone go so far as to get a tattoo with a number in it, though."

"I'm a Spider," said Kurapika, again briefly. The other man's eyes widened and he backed up instantly.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean any offense, really..."

"It doesn't matter," he said, and walked out.

The others were waiting for him at a cafe, drinking coffee which they had paid for (since they didn't want to attract attention and it wasn't really worth it to steal a two-hundred zeni cup of coffee, anyway). "So you actually did it," said Coltopi, inspecting the new mark which peaked out from behind the chains. "I didn't actually think you would do it."

The challenge in his voice elicited a distinct rattling of chains which warned him to shut up. There was no need for any actual threat.

"So, Tenno, what's our first line of business?" asked Shalnark, apparently at ease. Kurapika gave him an even look which may possibly have had the slightest hint of "thank you" present.

"The first order of business is to recruit others," he said evenly. "Although I don't doubt my own abilities, or the rest of yours, there are some gaps in the types of abilities which we need to fill. Certainly we need more strength-type fighters, and at least one more intelligence. We also need additional stealth. I've already considered a candidate for that." He thought to himself for a moment, wondering how Hanzo would take the news that he was leading the very group he had sought to annihilate five years ago. The secret had not been kept under wraps long after his fight with Hisoka during the final round of the Hunter exam. Furthermore, he was uncertain of Hanzo's moral inclinations. He knew that he would have all of his conditions fulfilled if he recruited his former friends, but that they would be outraged at the suggestion.

He sighed to himself, though he kept his face expressionless. Even his ideas for reform wouldn't actually change the fact that the Spiders would continue carrying out illegal activities.

So instead he settled with starting somewhere he knew. "In order to spark the interest of other extraordinary nen users, we need to publicly carry out a particularly 'flashy' mission. I've already got that planned. Shalnark, I'll need you to bring me up to date on everyone's hidden abilities so that I can fill in the last details of the plan. Everyone will meet on the first of this upcoming month, at the Dunnolttar Castle in northern Scotland. I'll inform you of the mission there. Until then, do what you please. Just be there. Break."

**Author's Notes: **This is obviously a sequel to "Waning Moon, Waxing Moon," in which Kurapika fights and kills Kuroro, five years after the York Shin incident. I recommend that you read that one first if you haven't already. This is my first attempt at writing a story "chapter by chapter" (usually I finish the entire thing before publishing and release each chapter individually), but I will do my best to complete it if possible. I anticipate this one being quite a bit darker than "Notes on a Kuruta" or even "Waning Moon, Waxing Moon". Thanks very much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Music Suggestion: **Kashmir by Led Zeppelin

Dunnottar Castle was a stern, solitary edifice, friend of clouds and forbidding in stature. It was like Tenno, Bolonolev thought, accepting the pompous title as though it were just another name. Tenno didn't want to be known; didn't want to have the companionship of anyone else. Even in reforming the Spiders, it wasn't that he wanted (or needed) any help in his martial affairs, or even that he was lonely. It must be a completely mysterious function, which maybe even he himself didn't know.

He sought not to shiver as the cold wind seeped through various cracks in the ruined castle and whipped frigid air and precipitation. Someone slipped a rough wool blanket over his shoulders; looking up, he saw the impassive face of Shizuku who, not waiting for any word of thanks, catlike, descended from the steps he was sitting on and went to take her place next to Shalnark.

If it had not been bleak November, there would have been no way they could have met there; but visitors were not allowed, even if they had desired to peer around the castle at this time of year, and thus, with a little stealth, making it their temporary headquarters was a viable move. It occurred to Bolonolev that maybe Tenno really wanted to keep them on their toes, as one was ought when cold, both mentally and physically. Adjusting to his style of leadership, which was more fear than respect (as it had been with Danchou), would take a little time, he thought. And at the same time he wondered if Tenno had really realized the effects yet of killing the former Head.

The four of them (five, now that Shalnark had returned) had stuck together and been discussing every since the last meeting. The consensus was that even though they were far from trusting the Kuruta, at the moment he was their best option, and as such, they would treat him as the new Spider Head without qualms. Even so, their instincts were turned on full-throttle to any moment where he might betray them.

The Spiders had always been a quiet lot, expect for Uvogin, Phinks, Nobunaga and, in a more sinister way, Feitan; now that they were gone, they were virtually silent. However, there is something about silent people which makes them speak up when they are around each other. This proved true even for the legendary Spiders.

"So, Shalnark, what exactly is this 'mission' Tenno's hanging over our head, huh?" Kalluto asked cheerfully (which just seemed WRONG on many levels).

Shalnark sighed and shook his head. "I'm sworn to secrecy. Actually, I don't have such a clear idea, myself. Tenno only asked me for the skills and endurance levels of us lot, without giving me any real idea of what's going on. However," he leaned forward conspiratorially, "I can tell you this: it has to do with London. And a lot of explosives."

His fellow members' eyes widened. "Explosives?" asked Coltopi. "Really, the man..."

"...or woman..."

Coltopi ignored Bolonolev's quip. "...the man seems to have a rather flamboyant style, huh?"

"Well, he did mention that he was using this mission primarily as an attracting point for new members," commented Shizuku over her book. Shalnark nodded in agreement.

"Frankly, I'm a little interested to see what kind of people he wants to recruit into the Spiders."

He noticed Shizuku shivering, having given her blanket to Bolonolev, and put an arm around her shoulders, drawing her into his warmth. She looked up with a startled look, but accepted the gesture gratefully.

"I wonder if Tenno has discovered Danchou's 'condition' yet?" wondered Shizuku thoughtfully.

"Not likely," replied Bolonolev. "If he had, there would be no one in the world who could stand up to him."

.

The door hung there, a dare and a demand.

He remembered the first time he'd opened that door to find Kuroro on the other side. He hadn't even gotten completely through the door before his post-mortum enemy had begun fighting with him, scratching at his eyes with clawed fingers, kicking him in the stomach, the face, and everywhere else he could. After the initial shock, the Kuruta had begun to fight back. When nen was not accounted for (although one could evidently alter one's appearance however he wanted in this space), he was actually physically not as strong as Kuroro. He ended up taking the worst of the brunt, and by the time he passed through the blue door on the other side, he was covered with blood and full of shattered bones. Waking up the next morning, he could feel each spot he'd been hit for a split instance before the pain faded away. It was agonizing, getting up like that every day; and furthermore, he felt poisoned nen flow through his body, along with a new source of nen which he could not quite put his finger on.

But all that had ended even before he had reformed the Spiders, as stated before; the truth was, not only were they both tired of the fighting, they were both completely bored with it.

Kurapika had improved. It had not taken him long to figure out Kuroro's weaknesses (which were few and narrow) and how to cover his own (which were far more wide open). Furthermore, both had become accustomed to this strange new set of boundaries that were only open in his dream state.

Today he gritted his teeth as he mentally pushed open the mother-of-pearl decorated door and entered.

"How are your plans coming for world domination?" asked the man in black casually, sitting in an undefined corner.

Of late, Kuroro had been quite wry, sardonic, even. Kurapika did not really mind it any more, but he did get touchy whenever any reference was made to him taking up a position of forceful power.

"None of your business," he retorted, retreating to the farthest corner available and sitting himself, curling up into a ball with his arms around his updrawn knees. It was only a position which he allowed himself here. Tenno would never be so vulnerable and open.

Kuroro regarded him with interest. "Verily, your fervent visage veils your vigorous vendetta."

"..."

"Not very verbose, your voice is quite vacant. Why victimize your valorous intentions with vocative vivification? Your vanity varies from votive to vow while you view the violent downfall of those venal vermin."

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"A vociferous one."

"You're violating my last vestiges of sanity."

"Do you seek to vindicate yourself by vanquishing me alliteratively?"

"Hence vouchsafing the virtuousness of my intellect. Your corporeal visitations are vexing my very..."

"Victorious!" Kuroro mock-pumped his fist in the air. Kurapika blinked stupidly.

"...What?"

"You used "very" for the second time."

"Oh, for pity's sake," grumbled Kurapika, and commenced ignoring him until the blue door opened again.

He woke up the next morning, lacking the aches and pains he'd originally had when their encounters had begun. But something was different. It felt as though acid nen was spreading through his usual nen; it poisoned him, and he could feel himself getting weaker.

"This must be the vengeance of Kuroro," he thought grimly, and bore it Spartanly.

.

They all looked up when he entered the room. His mere presence changed the atmosphere of the room from physically chilly to psychologically 0 degrees Kelvin. It was really quite unnerving.

"Well, shall we begin?" Kurapika said softly.

The others were a little startled at his physical change. Not only did he look paler and more haggard, as though he hadn't had a good night's rest in ages, he had changed from his traditional clan blue-and-yellow outfit. Now he wore a black kung-fu suit, with gold designs embroidered on the edges, and a red and gold Japanese over-jacket, gold tassels tying in front. On anyone else, the combination would have seemed ridiculous. On Tenno, it looked bold and threatening.

There was little briefing. He had already settled, for the most part, the implements of the plan. Shalnark had frankly been astonished at the level the preparations had been set at. This was no mere physical defacement of a building; it was the mental downfall of a corrupt political rule. Kurapika had been thorough. He had already manipulated information (with Shalnark's help) concerning the targeted building itself, the number and station of people who would be present at a certain date, certain time. No detail was too insignificant; every person was considered for their worth in "the plan".

Ultimately, the "dirty work" would be done on the eve of five days hence. That was where the Spiders came in. In order to fully implement the plan, there was need of more bodies to insure that everything came down to timely order. Of course, not just anyone. No, only the Spiders could pull off this operation with 100% accuracy. And that's what Kurapika needed.

His justification for the destruction of the Palace of Westminster was fairly understandable...to a Spider. The Houses of the English Parliament had become more and more corrupt in the past four years; the new Prime Minister was more easily susceptible to bribery and pride than any British leader for the past millennium had been. Laws were passed which should not, for the sake of humanity, be passed; there were rumors of empire-building using nuclear force, and ultimately, there was such an uproar of disapproval that Kurapika knew that this would be the hot spot of media notoriety. A perfect place to demonstrate the abilities of the reconstructed Spider.

This particular evening was a convention of the Houses in order to discuss a bill proposing the expulsion of its entire Asian community. There was little doubt that it would be passed.

The rest of the Spiders, who were not adverse to pulling off charitable works, were also certainly not resistant to the idea of a massive, public explosion.

However, Bolonolev was not entirely pleased with his role in the plot.

"I'm supposed to be a WHAT?" His usually calm, quiet voice rose to its highest pitch.

Kurapika ignored his indignant tone of voice and answered coolly, "An artifact. You'll be entering in a cryptic chamber brought in by Shalnark and Shizuku as a generous gift for the treasury. You need to look as authentic as possible, so that there aren't any questions. After you three get in, Shalnark will be using his manipulation abilities to enable Kalluto to enter by Victoria Tower, Coltopi by the Central Tower, and myself at the Clock Tower. That will finalize all conditions necessary for implementation of the plan. There is no need to destroy anything but the Hall itself and its three towers. Do not destroy the adjoining chapels, Jewel Tower or Westminster Abbey. Is everything clear?" As everyone else nodded seriously, Bolonolev grumbled, "I still don't see why I need to pose as a mummy."

There were no other arguments.

.

"Remember, remember," murmured Kurapika, eyes flashing red as he received the signal from Shizuku at the top of Big Ben that she had "cleaned up" enough for him to enter.

He smiled grimly and, from where he stood on the pavement looking up, threw his Dowsing Chain up to wrap around one of the decorative spires above the clock itself. Using his Emission skills to power up from the ground, he "flew" up with the help of the chain and landed on the edge where he could climb in through the pillars. Once safely inside, he descended inside the tower itself.

They had smuggled in, hidden with Bolonolev, a tiny, but very powerful, liquid-based explosive and detonator. These would be duplicated by Coltopi many times and dispersed among the three, who would be using In to conceal the nen-created bombs from the guards until they reached their assigned posts. For added effect and destruction power, a small container of gasoline would duplicated into hundreds of gallons as it was poured into the center of the modern drainage system. Using the ancient draining system which had been implemented during the reign of Henry III, the explosive would leak all throughout the Palace of Westminster, starting from the three towers. In addition, the Central Tower and Clock Tower themselves were rigged with Kalluto's paper imploders, in the bases of the towers, and cracked by Kurapika's own Reinforced abilities, so that the towers would fall into the Hall itself, effectively destroying it from below and above.

From an inner window, he saw Kalluto fly in, nearly invisible, on a paper airplane he had constructed, knowing that Coltopi had already entered and was busy duplicating the explosives, gasoline, and detonators.

Attracting as little attention as possible, he and Shizuku met the rest at the Central Tower. The five Spiders looked at him expectantly where they stood, holding the deadly weapons, as if half-expecting he wouldn't be able to go through with it.

They had underestimated Tenno's determination. For not only was he willing to kill the corrupt politicians in the Houses, he was prepared to kill anyone else who was caught in the building as it was destroyed.

"The end justifies the means," he had come to accept when he fought Kuroro. There was no other way.

He nodded briefly, red eyes flashing as he did so. "Initiate...plan," he said authoritatively, and the six of them dispersed to their respective stations.

An hour later, media helicopters were swarming the Palace of Westminster as explosives rang through the veins of the Hall, tossing bright white-hot flame which burned into red and black as it mushroomed, wherever the gasoline caught fire and exploded. At the very top of Big Ben, which even now was beginning to lean into the Hall, Kurapika stood, holding onto the top spire. As a helicopter with cameras madly trying to capture the action flew close enough to see his face, he dematerialized his chains and held out the back of his right fist. The Spider tattoo burned clearly against the flaming background.

This was Kurapika's apotheosis; his rise to royal divinity, his announcement to the world that the Spiders were still a living organism. And they would bring hell to those living who ought to be there. He was the Judge. He was Tenno.

It was only a few seconds after the helicopter was forced to wheel around when the Tower began to collapse inward, its five bells clanging cacophony as they plummeted within. He suddenly rematerialized his chains and, in full view of the watching world, flung them at the skids along the bottom of the nearest helicopter, pulling away and hanging from it while the Clock Tower collapsed into a pile of ruined brick and burning flame. The Hall crumbled into the Thames, utterly destroyed.

The building which had been through fire and bombings for almost a thousand years, now would never stand again.

The helicopter galloped away as police forces below began to shoot at the dangling Kuruta. They were no match for the piloting Shalnark, who easily outmaneuvered them.

Mission accomplished.

Five minutes later, miles down the Thames, Kurapika, having joined the rest of the Spiders in the crowded cabin, heard something he hadn't heard in months.

His cell phone began to ring.

It was not the cell phone of Gon, Killua and Leorio days; in order to prevent them from contacting him, he'd destroyed that one three years ago. This one he had purchased while collecting the rest of the Scarlet Eyes and kept on him only because it was habit. No, this was someone else. Who could possibly know this cell number other than...

Memory clicked as he flipped open the phone. "Valentyna," he said.

**Author's Notes: **I am not implicating in any way that there is anything wrong with the current British Parliament, nor that I want to destroy the Palace of Westminster. This should be obvious, but just as a precaution, I wanted to make that clear. Consider this as one of those "in the unnamed future" moments that would never happen in real life (unless, of course, you're Guy Fawkes, but that's a different matter). I thought this would be a rather emotionally striking building to destroy, but as I said, that would be a really horrible thing to do and I don't advocate any sort of terrorist activity whatsoever. I don't think I'll be destroying anything else this historic throughout the series.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

**Music Suggestion: **Monochrome Frame and Shinku no Fetarizumu by Kanon Wakeshima

"Valentyna." For the first time since he had met him, Shalnark saw the Kuruta smile as he extended his hand toward the person he named.

The woman who stood before them now, in the dimly lit plush room decorated not only with velvet, but with dust, as its aristocratic Russian owners had abandoned the mansion over a year ago, was tall and muscular, almost manlike. She had short, wavy, reddish-brown hair and strong limbs. In fact, it almost seemed a joke when the two stood facing each other, smiling and exchanging "how have you beens".

But the Kuruta had smiled. That was a mystery.

He turned to the rest of them, lounging around in red velvet chairs and couches, enjoying, for once, a furnished building as accommodation for all of them together. That had rarely happened in the past; for one, people didn't usually abandon beautiful homes, and for two, the personality never really seemed to suit the Danchou of dark, damp corners. Tenno seemed to fit in better with these circumstances.

"This is Valentyna," he stated formally, "a pro-wrestler from the Ukraine. The first time I met you," he said, turning back to her, "you were the only guard to prove a challenge to us when we stole the Scarlet Eyes right from under their previous owner's nose."

She laughed a little at the memory. Her laugh was entirely different from her appearance; it was sweet and bell-like, though deep. "Did you ever manage to collect them all?"

"Yes. They rest with my clan."

Had any of the Spiders who had been involved with that incident been there, it would have been very uncomfortable, indeed. However, there was just slight interest as they regarded the woman, and tried to read between the lines.

"I'm glad to hear that. Are these your new friends? The last time I saw you, you were with..."

"They are accomplices, not friends, Valentyna," Kurapika said, cutting her off. "I'm assuming that you already are familiar with our purpose? Otherwise you wouldn't have called to begin with."

"I have to admit, it's a little strange to see you come down to the more violent way of thinking, Kurapika. Your methods need a little cleaning up, but..." She shrugged, by which the rest deduced that, along with her enormous size, she was not the pansy type.

"That sort of display will be a bit of an anomaly. It's main purpose was flashy for a few reasons. The first reason being to demonstrate our invincibility."

_Your invincibility, you mean,_ thought Shalnark, not enviously, but pragmatically.

"The second is that originally the Spider has twelve members, not including the Head. I already destroyed many of the members as well as the former Head, as part of the revenge plan that I told you about three years ago, and now I am attempting to rebuild it with new members for a specific purpose. I think I had you in the back of my mind when I decided that we should destroy the Palace of Westminster. I remember you always had a bit of interest in it."

"And now you've gone and broken it."

"Ah, well, you came, didn't you?"

She shook her head. "Kurapika, you've completely changed. Not that I mind, you were always too uptight to begin with, but..."

He stepped even nearer to her and lifted his head to look her squarely in the eye. "I want you to join us."

"Why?" The question came from behind, and the two of them looked around. Shalnark blushed a little. "I mean, it's not that you aren't obviously strong, but what's your nen power? That's most important, right, Tenno?"

Kurapika narrowed his eyes at him and then sighed. "Valentyna, if you will, please?"

He stood back a good ten feet as she closed her eyes and concentrated. Suddenly, her eyes reopened, inflamed emotion dancing in the dark brown. She took a deep breath as she stepped backwards into a fighting stance with one foot, cupping her hands together at her waist. In a fluid movement, she thrust them out while exhaling and held them there.

Shizuku gasped. "Shalnark, use Gyou!" As he did, he realized why everyone around him was gaping. A strong wall of solid nen surrounded Valentyna, an orb about three meters in diameter. For demonstration purpose, Kurapika threw a stone vase at her. It shattered when it hit the wall and fell harmless to the ground. She released it and returned to her standing position, not even breathing hard.

"Valentyna is a strong emission-type nen user," Kurapika explained. "In battle circumstances, she can erect the wall in .1 seconds, up to ten meters in diameter, protecting herself and everyone around her. What really got me the first time I fought her was this..." He nodded at her. She quirked an eyebrow and then said, "Okay, but I'll go easy on you..."

A split second later everyone in the room was gaping again as Kurapika suddenly folded from the waist and was flung backwards, hitting the opposing wall hard. He picked himself up, rubbing the back of his head a little. "I'd forgotten what a punch that packs," he said, a bit ruefully.

"Did you see what happened?" Coltopi asked. Shizuku nodded.

"A ball of nen exploded from her hands and hit him square in the chest, at the speed of sound," she said. Bolonolev gave an appreciative grunt.

Shalnark smiled a little in his carefree way as he stood up and offered his hand to her. "Well, not that anyone's opinion but Tenno's matters, but I certainly approve. Valentyna, welcome into the Genei Ryodan."

The others began to leave, but Kurapika stayed behind with a shared look at the wrestler.

"Just to let you know, Valentyna," Kurapika said seriously when the others had left and they were alone, "part of the vow that gave me this," he held up his hand with the slender chains, "applies to the Spiders."

She looked at him blankly. "How?"

He pulled out his Chain Jail and demonstrated, flicking it around the room. He'd never had the opportunity to show her this chain. "When you become a member of the Spiders, I have the power to confine you completely with this chain." He put it back and looked her in the eye. "Of course, I would never use it against you."

"I know you wouldn't."

"But I could. Physically, I have the option. I just wanted to let you know that." He walked over to the frosty window and leaned against it, ignoring the chill.

"Thank you," she said, softly.

.

"Can I offer a bit of advise?"

Kurapika sighed as he wearily gave his subconscious tormentor a glance.

"None that I would take."

"Okay," Kuroro said, thoughtfully, ignoring his response completely. "You really would do better to lose the high-and-mighty attitude. After all, you're human like the rest of us. You have human desires, human impulses. If you keep on trying to convince yourself that you're above the temptation to achieve your own goals through illicit means, all you'll be doing is justifying your own illegal activities. Trust me, you're bound to do them. Just get used to it. You're a Spider, now."

"I may be a Spider," hissed Kurapika, "but I'm the Head, now. We follow my command!"

"Ah, there you go."

"What?"

"Already, you're doing it. You're trying to convince yourself that you're above..." Kurapika cut him off as he appeared suddenly in front of him, eyes glowing red. "I...am...NOT!"

"Not above coercing others by force, or not trying to convince yourself that you're above coercing others by force?"

"Oh...you..." Kurapika seethed, walking away and leaning against nothing in particular. He searched around in his head for the proper adjective. "You're...insufferable!"

"Oh, well done, Kuruta." Kuroro began clapping.

"Shut up!" he roared. "Just, shut up!" Why was it that with anyone else, he could manage to parry off any insults, turn the tables against them, but when he was against the Spider Head, all he could really do was rage and say stupid, pointless things? It was like he was completely unable to think around him, or maybe just unable to keep his cool. Whatever it was, it was utterly annoying.

Kuroro regarded him with interest and slight humor at his annoyance. Finally he pulled out a map of Mie, Japan. "Want a little advice for recruiting members?" he asked. Kurapika eyed the map.

"Where did you get that?"

"From your subconscious library. It's lucky for me that the man who killed me was so widely read. It would be utterly boring in here if you didn't."

"You're ridiculous. And dead."

"Even better than insufferable. Anyway, what I was saying..."

Kurapika couldn't help but kneel next to where the other man sat out of interest. "Why the hell are you helping me?"

"Consider it desperate measures out of the deep wells of boredom. Or maybe I just like stealing and killing. You pick."

"How do I know you're not going to lead me wrong?"

"If you die, I have to stop persecuting you. It's as easy as that."

"I hate you, you know."

"You're welcome," Kuroro replied obliquely.

.

He had not been fully asleep for more than half an hour when the shuffling startled him awake and he rose instantly.

That voice...he knew that voice...soft, feminine, cruel. Why did it whisper? Why did it croon, softly, like the smile of a viper?

As if he wasn't already awake, loud pounding erupted from the door.

"What," he said, opening it to the startled face of Shalnark.

"Tenno, there's an intruder! I don't know him by face, but...I think he's a Zoldadyk. We caught him attempting to abduct Kalluto."

Kurapika didn't say anything, but followed Shalnark at a run down the hall. When they reached the large child's room at the end, he saw that the door was already wide open, with Valentyna and Shizuku restraining the intruder, while Kalluto stayed in a far corner with Coltopi and Bolonolev.

Kurapika's mouth tightened into a line with white marks around the corner. "What are you doing here, Illumi?"

The dark-haired young man stopped fighting immediately when Kurapika entered the room. Valentyna let down her trapping (as well as protecting) wall, and Shizuku's Deme-chan hovered at counter-attack level, though not immediately threatening.

Illumi gave him a pale, wan smile as he put his hands out as one would approach an unfriendly dog, tossing away his remaining pins. "Why, Kurapika," he said, tone conversational, "fancy seeing you here! And with the Spiders, of all things."

"That's close enough," Kurapika said brusquely, as Illumi came within kicking distance. "Don't go any father. Shizuku, approach him from behind, as a guard."

"Relax, I'm not here to fight you, really," Illumi said. "I just came to check up on my younger brother. Right, Kalluto?" Behind him, Kalluto expressionlessly nodded.

Shalnark sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Really, the next time you come for a conversational chat, try not break in through the window. Someone could get hurt."

Illumi's eyes had a strange, foreign gleam as he shot a glance at him out of the very corner of his eye. Without warning, he produced three more pins in each hand and flung them toward him. Kurapika, knowing Shalnark couldn't withstand that sort of attack without outside help, immediately leaped in front of him, swinging his Dousing Chain in its graceful dance in order to capture all six pins.

"Illumi, I won't tolerate your sneaky attacks," he growled, "not against me, not against them."

Illumi gave a humorless laugh. "I was just seeing if you really did have any sort of emotional attachment to them," he said. "After all, if I was reforming the very group which had wiped out my family...not that anyone in the world could, of course...I'd be deceiving them in order to destroy them."

Kurapika narrowed his eyes and planted his feet more firmly in front of Shalnark. "None of these people are responsible for what happened five years ago, and I hold no grudge against them. Furthermore, they are my comrades and I won't allow anyone to hurt them. Finally, my reasons for reforming the Spiders is my business.

"However," he continued, lowering his hand and letting up his defensive position, "you are a strong fighter, to be able to hold off two members of the Genei Ryodan for even two minutes. I need more strength-type fighters. If you abide by my rules, I want you to join us."

Illumi replied without hesitation. "If I can be near my younger brother, of course I will join you. What are your conditions?"

"The same as for everyone else. Unsparing devotion to the Spider, unquestioning obedience to me. Also, it is not my original rule, but you may not harm any other member. All disagreements are to be decided by coin toss. Am I clear?"

"Of course," said Illumi in his unimpassioned voice, and dipped his head into an informal bow. "Leader."

"Fine. Stay here for the night, and in the morning, we will make it official. To insure that you don't cause any harm, Kalluto, you will switch rooms to stay with Bolonolev. Valentyna, I trust you with whatever preventive measure you want to take to insure that he doesn't break into any rooms further down, since yours is next to this one. Can you do that?"

Valentyna smirked as she cracked her knuckles. "Against a little pee-wee like that? You bet."

Shalnark followed Kurapika back to his room. "Tenno, are you sure this is all right? That person..." he winced, "...that person is a completely different breed of dishonest. Are you sure you want him this close to the Spider?"

Kurapika awarded him with a rare grin as he opened his door and faced him before going in. "If he becomes a Spider, I have complete authority over him, right?"

Shalnark gulped, aware that the same rules applied to him, also. "Yes."

"Then the safest place to have him is in the Genei Ryodan. Tomorrow, we head to Japan."

**Author's Notes:** Sorry this is such a boring chapter, but I figure I've doled out enough destruction in the last chapter. Also, this will not be a happy story! Be prepared not to like our sunshine-haired hero very much! (At least for now). Just needed to get that out there. There will be humor and romance, but overall this will end up being preeeeetty dark. I will take suggestions, if I can fit them into the plot I've already laid out. Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Music Suggestion:** Storm by the Yoshida Brothers

Japan, the Undiscovered Country.

Three days later, the eight of them had made their way to the Suzuka mountains of Mie, searching for a clan of Ninjas who certainly did not want to be found. Little did they know that they were be hunted by a professional hunter and his group of the deadliest criminals to walk the earth.

Hanzo's clan was nestled in a little valley, mesh of midori-green trees and abundant undergrowth. The Spiders could not get there by any route but foot, and without a map it seemed hopeless; but Kurapika had an ace up his sleeve...literally.

"Continue north," he told the others, observing the sway of his Dowsing Chain. They were fast, all of them, and it took fewer than three days until they found the little village, green as the foliage around it, sounding with the noise of warriors-in-training and the quiet bubble of a restless brook that ran at its west.

He smiled grimly, thinking to himself that it was not such a different place from where he grew up.

There was no need to ask anyone "where is Hanzo's house?", nor even need to ask if he was there; his chain proved otherwise. Nevertheless, he paid respects to the village elders in order to avoid conflict. More than one of his group was attracting suspicious looks, and he didn't want any bloodshed in this peaceful place.

"Ah, Hanzo! Yes, yes, he's here; he just got back from his last Hunter mission," the elder said, sitting cross-legged on the flat cushion across from Kurapika. Behind him, the rest stood silently. He took a sip of tea offered to him. "He's quite a good Hunter, surprised us entirely when he returned from the test. He's not a normal Ninja, you know..." the elder continued, with a knowing grin which Kurapika returned, ever so slightly.

"Can we see him?"

"Hmm..." the elder stroked his wispy chin hair thoughtfully and looked up at a young lady who stood by patiently. "Kiyoshi, would you go find Hanzo and ask if...ah...ah..." He turned back to Kurapika, "Young woman, what did you say your name is?"

"Kurapika Kuruta," he said, gritting his teeth but declining to correct him. Behind him, he heard a badly-contained snicker, probably from Bolonolev, and whispered, "I told you you should cut the ponytail..."

"Ah, well, it's been so long since such lovely young women visited," the elder continued, giving a smile and appreciative glance to him and Shizuku. "Not to mention, such a variety of different cultures...though I can't quite tell where the green-haired one is from...mm...ah, Kiyoshi! Did you find him?"

"Yes, Toshiyuki-sama."

He gave her a prodding look.

"He says he will see you," she continued, looking at Kurapika.

"Thank you," he said briefly, and rose.

.

Hanzo had not changed much. Had not changed at all, in fact. The moment he stepped into the low-roofed but impossibly brightly decorated room that was his house, Hanzo came forward with a large smile and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Ah, Kurapika! It's been so long, ne? Really, I asked you to try and stay in contact after the Hunter exam, but even Gon and Leorio said they hadn't heard from you in ages! They've been trouble, that lot, hahaha! Gon and Killua went crazy, hunting up some weird species of ant, something like cheetah, or chiaroscuro, I don't remember; but they're done now, and hanging out with Leorio, who finally got through his doctor's program and, according to him, is making massive progress in critical nen cure therapy techniques. Gosh, it's been so long, do you remember that time when we got stranded on that island when that crazy tsunami was rolling in? I think we were all brilliant, but really, we would have died if you and I hadn't been there. Well, I guess we wouldn't have died, since we wouldn't be there, they would have died, but that's besides the point. I've visited back there a couple of times in order to go treasure hunting, I found some really great stuff, I should show some to you. This," (reaching onto a shelf) "is the only portrait created of the African king Trininda. It's worth millions, but I keep it here because I like it. Anyway, I myself have been traveling the world, finding treasures, I've got a great nen ability, wait til I show it to you...Hullo, are these your new friends?"

"Comrades," Kurapika said evenly, a little surprised that he'd managed to get a word in, period. Hanzo frowned a little.

"Gee, a couple of you look really familiar. Illumi, it's been awhile, ne? Of course, it's really strange seeing you like that. No pins, you know. And a couple of the others...Not that that's unusual, of course, I've been all over the world and met loads of people, haha! Hmm...what's your name, cutie?"

"Shi...Shizuku..."

"Ah, you're Japanese! I knew it. Japanese are the most attractive people on earth, as everyone knows. Well, feel free to stay here as long as you want, I'm really quite open to having female visitors..."

"Hanzo." Kurapika had reverted to "Tenno" mode, changing his posture and voice to that which made normal people twitch. Hanzo didn't twitch, but he did shut up.

"Hanzo, I want to talk to you about something. Have you ever heard of the Genei Ryodan?"

An ugly look crossed the Ninja's face. "Yes," he replied, after a moment of reflective silence. "They're a mass-killing group, thieves, murderers, destroyers."

"Hanzo, this is the Genei Ryodan."

"What?" His eyes almost bugged out of his face as he whipped his bald head from Kurapika to the seven people behind him. He turned vaguely what Kurapika could call pale, and gave him a frown as he faced him again. "What are you doing with these people, Kurapika? I thought you hated them."

"That was before I avenged my tribe. Now I'm the leader." He held up his right fist, showing the dark, lifelike spider tattoo there. "I want to ask you to join..."

"Never! Never ever ever, I would never want to be associated with such a group; Kurapika, I don't mean to be rude, but please leave immediately!"

"Hanzo," he began, a palm up and eyes closed, "please listen..."

"Never! Do you hear me? Please, get out!"

"Want us to squash him?" Illumi asked tonelessly. Kurapika shook his head.

"No, let's leave," he said, a trifle sadly, hastily exiting.

.

They had just passed beyond the western-bordering stream when Kurapika stopped, hair rising on the back of his head. He ducked to the right in order to avoid a shooting star, and then stepped in front of Coltopi to block another with his chain. Behind him, he could sense Shizuku covering Shalnark, and the rest avoiding more shuriken easily. He knew these shuriken, but it was impossible; the last time he had faced them, it was with a dead man...

"Show yourself," he growled, Dowsing chain quivering as it glanced up and to his left.

He narrowed his eyes as he looked up in that direction to spot a shadow emerge from a tree and jump down to the ground, where he came into full view. He laughed; but his laugh was not mocking, but curious. He looked remarkably like Hanzo, but there was something more treacherous about the way he held himself.

"You're good," he said. "Most people would be dead."

"What do you want?" Kurapika gritted out. "How can you have these shuriken? I've been hit by them before, and they don't feel nice."

"Ah, you've faced my dead friend, Lucifer," the man said, coming closer until he was a few feet away. "Yes, yes, he stole those from me over a year ago, cheeky bastard. Ah, well, I was too good to get killed by him, but not good enough to keep him from stealing the nen ability. But a couple of months ago, I woke up and whee! They were back."

"I killed him almost two months ago," Kurapika said. "They must have reverted back to you at that time." The other man gave a low whistle. "You killed him? Wow, no wonder you're so good. Not very good at hiding yourself, though. Watch."

As the rest of them watched, he backed up until he was back against a large tree trunk...and simply disappeared.

"Ah, you've got that skill, too," Kurapika said. "Hanzo has it too, but not that subtle."

"Nothing about Hanzo is subtle," answered the man, coming back into view. "I know. My name is Kanzo; he's my brother.

"I know who you are, and I know you came here to ask him to join you. But Hanzo has too great a sense of righteousness. That's not a quality that works well with your group, ne?"

Kurapika gave a hoarse laugh. "Why?"

"Because I don't have that sense of duty."

Kurapika reflected for a minute. "You're saying you want to join us? Fine. If you can hold your own against one of my Spiders, I'll let you join us. But don't blame me if you die in the attempt." He looked over at Kalluto. "Fight him."

Kalluto gave a twisted sort of smile. "Yes, Tenno."

.

They stood across from each other on the edges of a ravine. Clear water flowed fifty feet below.

"Tenno, is this alright?" Shalnark whispered to him where the rest of them stood away from the match. Kurapika gave him a cool glance.

"I have faith in both of their abilities," he said.

"Just to let you know," Kanzo shouted above the sound of the water below, "I won't go easy on you because you're a girl."

"I'm a boy!" Kalluto shouted back, greatly annoyed as Illumi snickered sadistically. His dark kimono and black hair swirled around him as the precipice wind picked up momentum.

"On your command," Kanzo shouted to Kurapika, who held up a hand in the air. "Start," he said, dropping his hand.

.

Kalluto had taken Feitan's death to heart. He still remembered the first time he had witnessed Feitan's incredible fighting ability, one not based merely on special skills (though he certainly wasn't lacking those), but based on his ability to improve immediately, quickly, and unlimitedly, during a fight. At the time, he'd been absolutely dismayed, believing and yet not believing that it was hopeless for him to attain that power.

He'd spent the next four years observing Feitan, asking him questions, learning, shadowing him. The best way to learn was by example, and he'd taken that to heart, somewhat to the dismay of his reluctant role-model.

When he'd heard, almost a year ago, that Feitan had been killed by the chain-user, whom he knew was none other than one of Killua's elusive friends, he'd felt shock, grief, and dismay. Dismay, because there was yet another level of power, one that could even destroy Feitan's. How could he possibly attain to that?

But he had been training ardently. He smirked as he gazed at his opponent across the ravine in the split second before the attacks began to fly. Truly, he wouldn't be defeated.

All around him, the poisonous shuriken flew, and he flung his fan around, deflecting them easily. Even when they wheeled back around to strike him from behind, he dodged so that they just nicked the corners of his freely flowing kimono.

"Oh? You're pretty good, kid," came the voice from across the ravine. Kalluto blinked; his opponent had disappeared, again.

"Oh, well," he said with a little sigh, and, unfolding his fan, he lifted up his other hand to sprinkle the showers of confetti. He let the pile loose with a quick flick of his wrist, the pieces flying to the other side. Out of the cliff wall, his opponent emerged to escape the flying pieces of paper.

Then they both were leaping toward one another and met in air above the ravine.

The single second they had before sailing across to the opposite side was filled with raining blows, so fast that no one but the Genei Ryodan would be able to see what was happening. Then they landed on the other sides of the cliff. Both had small scratches, having for the most part successfully warded off the other's attacks.

Kalluto wiped a tiny fleck of blood from the corner of his mouth. "I have the advantage, just to let you know," he called out to the other.

"Oh, is that so?" came the reply. Kalluto flicked his hands, and an enormous sheet of paper appeared.

"So." With lightning fast movements, he folded the sheet into a paper airplane and took off in it towards the other side.

Kanzo leaped out of the way as Kalluto swooped down, producing long, razor-like paper sword, which he sliced at the Ninja. Instead of retreating as the other dipped back down in his paper airplane, he leaped forward and threw his shuriken at the paper weapon. The sword diminished as it was sliced to pieces by the shuriken.

He just barely had a moment to dodge as they came wheeling back around. Did his supply of the stars ever diminish? he wondered. By the time he'd looked back around, his enemy had disappeared once more and his voice came at him, taunting.

"What cannot be seen is called evanescent;

What cannot be heard is called rarefied;

What cannot be touched is called minute."

Kalluto narrowed his eyes in annoyance as he spotted his enemy, dangling from the tail fin of the airplane. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?" he hissed, shifting his weight on top to keep the unbalanced airplane from running into the cliff wall as it began its lazy descent down the ravine.

"These three cannot be fathomed

And so they are confused and looked upon as one."

The airplane sank to the bottom as the wind momentum failed, and he noticed Kanzo leap, lightning-fast, before it hit the bottom and began dissolving in the knee-high frigid stream.

He dove sideways as Kanzo came flying at him, not bothering to use shuriken, but only martial arts. He gasped as his body was half-immersed by the water, and hastily drew himself up, wet kimono sticking to his body. "Damn," he swore, and hastily looked around for his opponent, who had yet again disappeared.

"Its upper part is not dazzling;

Its lower part is not obscure."

The voice echoed around the ravine, making its source impossible to pick out. Kalluto stood absolutely still, looking around. His confetti, he knew, was already ruined by its icy dip into the stream, though he still had close range attacks to his advantage, thanks to his superhuman speed which he'd learned from Feitan.

"Dimly visible, it cannot be named,

And returns..."

Kalluto gasped as the voice hissed directly into his ear. Simultaneously, he felt the razor-sharp edge of the poisoned shuriken against his throat.

"...to that which is without substance."

Above, Illumi started forward, but Kurapika put a restraining hand on his arm. He stood and called down the ravine, "Enough, Kanzo. You are accepted into the Spiders."

**Author's Notes: **I really couldn't conceive of Hanzo becoming a part of the Spiders, so I created this character to take his place (you have to have a Ninja or a samurai in the Spiders, right? It wouldn't make sense if there wasn't...). Kanzo is a big fan of the Tao Te Ching, as should be obvious from the quotations. Sorry I didn't give you any Kuroro in this chapter, but you'll definitely see him in the next one!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

**Music Suggestion: **Un Bel di Vedremo from the opera "Madame Butterfly" by Puccinni

Kurapika closed his eyes in bliss as he sank into the hot water up past his shoulders. The slightly sulfuric smell twinged his senses briefly as a sweat broke out on his brow. He could feel his tension lighten, and something that had been overwhelming his nen like thin poison, lifted. The fog hazed his sight of the rough wooden roof above as he stretched out his arms to rest against the smooth stone sides.

He'd instructed the rest of the Spiders to meet in two months time on the coast of Darlig ulv Stranden in Norway. Unless he was wrong, and he was never wrong, his next target would be stirring in the Ceil depths of the ocean off that coastline.

In the meantime, there was no need to stay together; he let them go to do whatever they wanted, while he rested and finalized his plans. For now, the best place to do that seemed here, in Kyoto.

His blond hair had been attracting him a lot of attention, to his dismay; even when he tied it back in a low ponytail, it seemed to avail nothing. Oh, well. He wasn't going to dye his hair black, for pity's sake! Let them stare.

He let himself let go and forget about time; when it began to get dark, he left and returned to his room.

Having money and his own uncanny presence opened up to him any number of luxurious places in Kyoto, which was known for its prestigious history and beautiful geisha. Being male, he couldn't help but attend a dance that evening. It had been awhile since he'd allowed himself to enjoy any sort of feminine companionship, and he found himself a little awkward around the numerous beauties that flocked around him at the low tables set for the various men of wealth and reputation that gathered there. They were certainly the highest example of idealized femininity, with graceful movements and considerate conversation. He noticed the envious glances of the men around him who noticed that the majority tended to come in his direction.

One of the men nearby, who was enjoying taking advantage of the extra geisha and maiko around his neighbor, whispered to him, "The kami are smiling on us tonight. Akatsuki is dancing tonight."

"Akatsuki?" Kurapika blinked blankly. The other man smiled and winked.

As if walking in on the air of their conversation, two dignified geisha entered silently from the front of the room, where the stage was, carrying a shamisen and koto. They arranged themselves gracefully on the floor of the stage and began to play.

Kurapika had to admit, he didn't quite enjoy the strange melodies and twanginess of the instruments and singer. But more than that, any reminder of music brought back strange memories, ones he didn't want to remember. He concentrated on the geisha's kimono, resisting the impulse that his fingers had to play along with the foreign melodic phrases.

All thoughts were swept away as, like a phantom, she appeared from behind the crane-painted folding screens.

Her kimono was pure white, with waved ocean lines on the bottom of the skirt and long sleeves, and above it, a single full red moon. Her obi was also bright red with a silver cord, outlining her fine waist in scarlet lines. In her coal-black hair were white hana-kanzashi, tipped with red; her face was painted white, and her lips blood red. He sat entranced by her eyes, the color of polished cherry wood, which seemed to lend a gypsy sort of beauty to her otherwise too-perfect-to-be-stunning face.

Then she started to dance, a silver fan open in one hand. Her movements of slow arcing arms and subtle movements of head, with carefully paced feet, hypnotized all who watched her; one and all, they couldn't help but want her. And she loved it.

Kurapika sat entranced by that graceful figure. He had forgotten the meaning of beauty, the last two years. Where had it gone? Had it been here, had it disappeared? But now it was here, dancing before him in stark aka to shiro.

The dance ended; the musicians bowed to the appreciative applause of the audience which was not meant for them. And the vision? She herself descended, haughtily, Diana condescending to the world of men.

She smiled and spoke to every man there, except him. Yet her taunting gaze was trained on him solely. When she bent over to exchange soft words with his beaming neighbor, he caught the sound of her voice. It was like a singing bowl made in the earliest days of Tibet; soft and mysterious and threatening blades gilted with silk. He burned to speak with her as her eyes met his again; he strove to keep his own from glinting red, and his pride prevented him from speaking up.

Abruptly, he rose to leave, garnering surprised looks from the geisha and other men. Back in his room, he simmered in annoyance. Was it because he appreciated beauty, let himself go for a minute and allowed himself to enjoy that thing which he had locked away? Or was it because the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen had stood there and mocked him with her unearthly eyes?

"Damn," he cursed himself. "Damn, damn, damn!"

.

He lay awake, unable even to get to the room of subconsciousness which usually preceded his dreams. He blamed it on the bright light of the reverberant moon outside, hanging like a mocking reminder, which flooded his room with ephemeral blueish light.

This time of the moon always reminded him of that fateful night with Kuroro. Of twisted concrete, and blood, and anguished cries. Of the dark curse he'd placed on the man before his death. Even now, he had to admit that the coldness of his heart had not allowed for any feeling of satisfaction or vindication. All emotion was frozen, there was no pity, there was no hate, there was no...

Why was he thawing tonight?

He got up, exceedingly frustrated at himself, and put on a heavy cobalt-coloured yukata in place of the thin one he was wearing to bed. With a sigh, he slipped into geta and slipped out of the room.

The moon was very bright tonight. It mocked him in its crystalline beauty, fading in and out above the baring branches of the trees he passed under on the cobbled pathway.

His restless spirit choked him as his feet broke out into a run. He scrambled up the hill looming above the onsen, frosty wind batting at his face like a kitten's paws. The full light embraced him at last as he crested the bald hill. Bare, save for dry dead straw and a lone figure sitting there in a thin white kimono and motionless against the biting wind.

He stood there for a minute, stupidly staring at the pearlescent form. Then he turned to go.

"Stay."

The command vibrated darkly through the clear air.

He paused. He wanted to turn, wanted more to leave. But she had spoken.

He turned and walked down to meet her there on the curved hip of the hill. She did not look up at him; no, her gaze never faltered, even for a flickering second, from the orb above. He continued to wait, patiently. It was a contest; she dared him to speak, he dared her to look over.

He had not accounted for the stubbornness and cunning of women, and at last his pride cracked for the fraction of second that it took to slide to the ground next to her and say, "Akatsuki."

"Yes?" Her gaze still did not waver.

"I...you...ahem," he cleared his throat. There was no good way to approach a conversation with this woman. "Ah, is it that you couldn't sleep, either?"

"Sleeping is a mortal activity."

"I...I see," he blinked in confusion. What the hell was she saying? Did she seriously consider herself to be deific, or something?

Kurapika is not considering the word "hypocrisy" at this moment.

He licked his lips, suddenly becoming aware of the chipping cold, and sat there, completely tongue-tied, outdone. Wasn't there only one other person who could do that to him, and that person already dead?

Again, the demi-goddess descended and rescued him. "It's a tradition here to observe the moon on nights like these," she said, and then finally lent him her mocking eyes. "But I expect you already know that, why else would you be out here?"

"I'd read that somewhere," he said, unable to tear his eyes away from hers. She gave a little laugh, the laugh of a well-bred geisha. Now that she turned to him, he could see that she had removed her makeup, and was no less perfect without it.

"I noticed you early on in the evening. Blonds tend to stand out around here," she said, and granted him a hint of smile.

"So I'd gathered," he said, "but if you ask me, I'm the least noticeable thing on this hilltop right now." The compliment sounded dry in his mouth. She lowered her eyelashes, but her chin was still uplifted.

"You interest me."

"Why?"

"Because you're blond."

He could feel his patience begin to deteriorate as he sarcastically answered, "Oh, is that all?"

There was no response for a minute, but she continued to stare at him luminescently. Then she gave him a quirked smile which was neither from humor or politeness.

"No," came the serious reply at last, "it is because you are a being of cold cages and locked traps. I am also that sort of creature."

His lips tightened bitterly as he broke the gaze and stared down at his hands, interlocked in his lap. For whatever reason, he'd had the unexplainable urge to bandage his right in order to hide the auspicious Spider tattoo.

She noticed the white wrappings, but said only, "How long have you been alone?"

"Ten years," came his monotone reply, but he wondered if it was the truth. Where did his loneliness begin? At the massacre of his tribe, the parting from Gon, Killua and Leorio, or two years ago?

"I have always been alone," Akatsuki replied, and rose. She gave him one last crook'd smile, which he had come to realize was the smile that came from her heart and not her profession, and asked, "Will you come again?"

"Will you?" he shot back, and she gave a bitter laugh.

"Who knows?"

.

The rest of the night passed as he watched the moon sink into the mountains and the dawn come footing by on sandals grey; the next day was a dull one of brutal whisperings of his mind. He visited a garden of white stones and ruminated, sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, as he sat there, of his plans for the Spiders, of the rumors he'd heard, considering and revising his plans now that he had added to the number. He found himself wondering about the Joker, and wondered who he trusted less, that one, or Illumi?

The metronome-like chants of Buddhist monks in the adjacent temple hummed over the silence of the creamy white landscape, mixing with dry white flakes that evaporated even before they hit the ground.

Illumi, he decided; Hisoka was unreadable, but he gave his reasons. Illumi gave neither. It was still a mystery why he'd joined the Genei Ryodan so readily. Surely it couldn't just be because of Kalluto? There was something else in those black gazes the cast back and forth. He wondered where Killua had gotten his light eye color, or maybe it was because his brothers flaunted an open vacancy of the interest in life?

He wondered briefly if Killua would also obtain the obsidian eyes someday. And whether his own would ever return to cerulean green. Not that that mattered anymore. The only person who had ever commented on his natural eye color was...

But all those thoughts were excuses not to think about the past, to continue to let them freeze in the back of his numb conscience. And excuses not to think about tonight.

He wanted to see her again; he was not in love, he was not even infatuated, but he was captive, and he did not like being captured.

Would she be there? Was it only a trick of moonlight, the wall that lifted from her eyes as she stared into the depths of his with deep search-lights?

A trick? Whether or no, she was there again, in the same place, maybe even sitting on the same strands of dead grass. She lifted her head as she heard him approach, and rewarded him with that twisted smile. "You came." The snow from earlier was returning with the wind, landing softly in her black hair.

He came forward to stand next to her. "I would have waited all night if you hadn't."

"Oh, indeed? I don't think I like that attitude." Her words intoned, I've seen enough of that kind of men, the kind who woo with words and ask but don't return. I've seen enough, and they no longer interest me.

I am not that type of man, Kurapika wanted to say, but pride retained him.

Instead, he bent down suddenly and roughly grabbed her by the arm, hauling her up next to him, standing inches away from each other so that they could feel one another's body heat contrast with the cold wind. Her eyes widened ever so slightly as he did so, and met his intense gaze with her own questioning one, glimmering in the moonlight.

Then they returned to taunting as she said, "I don't give favors."

"I didn't ask for a 'favor'."

"Not with your mouth, no." At that, her eyes dropped to his lips and flickered back up. Kurapika felt something in his stomach twist as she did that.

He released her and turned away. "You infuriate me," he said, bitterly.

"What else do you expect? Humans aren't meant to confer with immortals."

He shot her a black look, tinged with red. It was not a trick of the moonlight. Yes, and she noticed that, and gasped for real.

"You...you're..."

"It's unimportant," he answered, beginning to retreat into himself as he started to descend the hill.

"Who are you?" her voice called after him.

"Tenno," he answered enigmatically.

.

Kuroro had an evil look tonight. Not mischievous, although perhaps mischief may have been underlying that look; but mostly it was simply evil.

"Kuruta," he purred, dangerous undertones clashing with the silky front.

"What."

"I see you've found a...friend."

"..."

"She's beautiful, isn't she? Way more attractive than that other girl you used to..."

"Shut up. You're not even worthy of mentioning her."

"...the one you used to go around with, collecting the Scarlet Eyes..."

"Stop it. Shut up, shut up, shut up..."

Kuroro raised his voice over the other's chanting. "...what was her name?...Oh yes..."

"SHUT UP!" Kurapika was on his feet now, pacing toward Kuroro with murder in his blazing eyes. "Don't you dare, don't you dare!"

"...Senri..."

"SHUT UUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP!"

The scream collided with hard fists as he pummeled the other man mercilessly, drivingly. He wanted to kill him again, rip out his heart, strangle him, burn him. He wanted him to endure every single moment of pain that any creature for eternity had ever felt.

There was no excuse...no excuse for the closing of those wide hazel eyes.

Kuroro merely laughed and took it for awhile, before taking advantage of the enraged Kuruta's open weak spots to send him flying across the boundless room. Kurapika picked himself up, eyes shooting red lightning, and charged back towards his foe. The blue door flew open. He struggled and clawed against the magnetic force that dragged him into dreamland.

He didn't sleep the next night; nor did he return to the hilltop. Or the night after that, trying to force himself to stay awake, reading books uncomprehendingly, not daring to wonder if she waited. He didn't want to face that man again, and be reminded of that cutting pain he'd felt in his heart nearly two years ago.

**Author's Notes: **I wonder what you think about Akatsuki? She was the clearest OC to come to mind when I started to write, and the hardest to write. But that's because I designed her character to be difficult to pin down, I guess (laughs). I even changed her name three times before coming up with this one. Oh, and for the record, I didn't copy Naruto; I found out randomly afterward that there was a group in Naruto called Akatsuki and was like, "Well, screw you, it's her name and I'm not changing it." =)

I think it should be obvious who Kuroro is talking about, but here's a hint in case it isn't: this story is actually a double sequel of another story I wrote simultaneously to "Waxing Moon, Waning Moon."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

**Music Suggestion: **Murasaki no Yukari by Rin'

Nothing is worse than being less than two.

Shizuku had forgotten who had said that, but the quote still lingered in her mind. She blinked behind her black glasses and picked up her book again, trying to forget about it.

The door opened and closed; a youthful but manly form entered and sighed, sitting down on the couch opposite the chair she sat in. "What's the matter?" she asked without looking up.

"Shizuku, you'll ruin your eyes like that." There was a soft click as the lamp on the table next to her was switched on.

"I'll be fine," she answered. "It's really an excuse, isn't it? Shalnark."

She looked up, finally, and her eyes landed on the tall figure standing in front of her. He stared at her for a minute, gaze innocent and wide, before laughing good-naturedly and rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, yeah, but it's really a bad habit to read in the dark, you know? Anyway, I brought food."

He placed a couple of takeout boxes on the table and scooted forward a chair so that they were knee-to-knee. "Did you steal it?" she asked, returning to her book.

"Ah, no. I'm not Ubo, after all. No, it's just too much hassle that way; finding someone coming out of a restaurant and hoping they ordered the food you want. I chickened out and bought it."

"I don't care what food I eat."

"No, but I do." He paused and gently tugged the book out of her hands and laid in his lap. "C'mon, eat up! I'm going to keep you accountable for eating, you forgetful person, you. Don't make me stick you with an antennae and force you."

"That's not very comfortable at all," she answered gravely, and opened the box. "What is it?"

"Curry."

"What do I eat it with?"

"Chopsticks." He lightly tossed a pair of paper-sleeved wooden chopsticks at her, and she caught them. She broke them apart and then paused, just looking at them.

"Shizuku? You need to eat."

"I was just thinking, sometimes in my dreams, a man comes."

"A man?"

"Yes."

"Does he wear a black trench coat with a reversed cross on the back?"

"No." She shook her head adamantly. "No, he's huge, with scars across his face, meeting on the bridge of his nose. And his hands are huge, too big to hold chopsticks." She smiled a little wistfully. "And his voice is so gentle."

Shalnark sat there in silence, remembering Franklin. He had been the first of them to be killed three years after Pakunoda. Phinks, Nobu, Feitan and Machi had all followed.

But that was the past. Like Shizuku, he needed to forget.

"Eat up," he said firmly and with a smile, as he got up and went to the kitchen of the hotel suite for a couple of glasses of water. As he reached up on the shelves, Shizuku's voice came and he turned around.

"Shalnark?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you." He could swear there was a tiny of quiver in her voice as she said that.

He sighed again, very, very softly.

.

He had been followed for two hours now, and still he ignored whoever it was. The footsteps were heavy and badly concealed; it was a man, probably a second-rate Black-List Hunter, for all Hunters were not created alike. He wondered vaguely if he was being tracked because he was a Kuruta, or because he was a Spider.

Either way, it was nothing to worry about. Even if there were ten people tracking him, he would still continue as he was, walking down the secluded woody path of uninhabited Kyoto prefecture.

He stifled a yawn, willing his eyes to stay open. It had been a week since his fiery encounter with the nen-ghost of Kuroro, and still he stayed awake. It was inhuman. He was inhuman. Like Akatsuki, he was a set-apart remainder of a noble breed, tainted with a barren past.

And her? Where was she now? He was obsessed, Stockholm syndrome of the escaped hostage; the captive who yearned to return but could not. It was better than returning to that other place, where memory scalded and left bubbling scars over the already hacked remains of his soul.

December would descend soon, in cloaks of brown and very occasional white. Maybe it would snow for real. Would he still be here to witness it?

He closed his eyes as he lifted them, unseeing, to the grey sky above. No, he decided. His rest was over, he would travel to China and research new fighting styles and weapons. He had become a machine; he mastered and passed on, and all he learned was geared toward a single purpose. To rid the world of corruption using the bloody engine that was his Spiders. It wasn't enough, avenging himself; it wasn't even, achieving his own goals; in order to survive, he had to press on, to become the Reaper for those who could not fight back. That was the only thing that kept him pushing through the whips and scorns of time. There was no need for a bare bodkin.

A twig snapped loudly behind him, and, greatly annoyed at the other person's lack of subtlety, he turned around. "End it," he said, and unwrapped his right hand, the cold trinkets of his weapon jangling into existence.

No reply. "Come!" he shouted, letting his Dousing Chain still its pendulum swing and then raise, quivering towards the woods.

In a flash, he chased the retreating figure, superhuman speed despite his recent lack of sleep. "Ah," he said at last, as the man he caught up to wheeled around, and twenty other figures emerged from the woods.

He smirked as he held out his chain. "Shall we begin?"

They did not approach in the style of bad action flicks, where each bad guy approaches the hero one at a time, to get defeated easily before the next ran up. No, there was system, and there was cooperative effort. Still, it almost bored Kurapika to tears, hardly needing to utilize Emperor Time at all to throw attacks and counterattacks of his various mastered categories of nen. The problem was quickly becoming evident, however; he could not kill with the non-Spider oriented methods he was using, and it was becoming increasingly annoying to keep battling foes who fell down and got back up. They were relentless. In the past, his enemies had gotten the hint after a couple of hits with the Dowsing Chain, and gave up, but this time there were too many to block all of the bullets and knock away their weapons; they just kept picking them back up and continuing to fire. If he'd still been using his tanto, it would have been a different story; but those were left behind in a cave in Mongolia, where nen was forbidden and a sonata lay in a charred pile of ash.

The sound of chopping air interrupted his tired mind's wanderings, and a second later something slammed into his back from behind. Another bullet, evading his chains, sank its lead bite into his left thigh, and he was forced down to his knees, gasping in pain as the helicopter landed.

A fat, bald man descended, signaling to his accomplices to cease fire. Kurapika still knelt there, gasping, eyes the color of fire. He remembered this man, from over five years ago, the one called Zenji.

He narrowed his eyes as the smirking man came within five meters of him. "We've found you at last, Kuruta."

.

Coltopi sighed loudly, and Bolonolev looked up from where he was meditating on the other side of the room.

"What's wrong?"

"Just...the Spiders...don't really feel like the Spiders anymore, do we?"

"Well, that's pretty obvious, don't you think? All of the original members, plus Danchou, are dead, and we're slowly being replaced with new members."

"True." Coltopi chewed on his lower lip, a habit he had formed as a result of nobody being able to see that he did it. "But it's not just the members. The whole purpose of the group is different."

"Yes, it is. The main objective of the Genei Ryodan used to be mainly theft, not destructive cultural reform."

"It's not that he's forbidding us to steal things," Coltopi said, nodding at Bolonolev's assessment, "we can do that in our own time; but our missions used to revolve around getting to some rare item, for the money, for the object, or even just for the challenge. This is just brutal destruction."

Bolonolev gave him a sideways glance through the leather strips that covered his face. "Don't tell me you're feeling bad about killing people."

Coltopi snorted in reply. "Of course not. But there used to be more purpose behind it. That's what made being with Danchou so much fun."

"Fun..." Bolonolev mused. Yes, Tenno seemed to have very little idea of the concept of "fun". No, he had been a hell-demon bent of revenge, and finding revenge unfulfilling, now sought to make excuses for more bloodshed.

But it seemed so unlike the cool-headed yet fiery teenager that had outwitted them five years at York Shin. What could have happened to have frozen him into this granite ice-sculpture?

.

Kurapika gritted his teeth against the pain, against the exhaustion, as he stared up at the man who was a walking example of greed.

"What do you want."

"A couple of things. Revenge, and the second follows; possession of the last living Kuruta."

"I am not an artifact, to be collected and stored among gruesome displays." He willed his eyes to return to black, but they kept flickering red.

"No? Well, that's just too bad."

"I would rather die."

"What, like your little friend?"

Kurapika gasped. "What the hell are you talking about. What friend?"

"Oh, don't you remember anymore? Too bad, she was such a sweet little thing, smile like rays of sunshine, voice like running water. But she was in the way, and things that are in the way are gotten rid of."

A wistful shadow of musical laughter rang clear through the cloudy chambers of his mind.

Kurapika's eyes turned fully to orange-scarlet. "That...she was killed...by the leader of the Genei Ryodan, what are you talking about? How do you know about that?"

"Ah, that's where you're wrong. Let that sink in, venerable Kuruta; you were wrong. Kuroro Lucifer was not the one who killed your friend. We did. The Mafia. It's a little funny; who knew one person could change so much over the death of one insignificant insect of a girl?"

Pain forgotten, he stood up. His movements were so fast that Zenji only had a split second before the Judgment Chain pierced his heart.

"Don't shoot!" Kurapika shouted at the waiting men, uneasily shifting where they stood. "One move from any of you, and he'd dead." He turned back to the wincing man in front. "A question."

"Wha...what...what was that..." He looked up at the captain of his team of men, but Kurapika recommanded his attention.

"If you even consider calling your accomplices to shoot, you'll die instantly. A question: What did she say before you shot her?"

"I...don't...remember..."

The chain in Kurapika's hand tensed suddenly as it crushed Zenji's heart, and he ripped it out before the other man fell lifelessly to the ground. He looked around, daring the other men to shoot. He didn't know how much longer he could last with his nen so drained from exhaustion, but he would do this last thing. For her.

They tensed, not ready to fire, but then it came. A flash, and whistling through air, and inches in front of him, a shining katana stuck in the ground, its ivory inlaid handle pointed towards him, ready to fight.

Without glancing up at the disappearing white kimono, he pulled the blade out of the ground grimly. There would be no further use of chains for today.

.

The last man fell, and Kurapika stood there for a minute, dazed, still gripping the bloody katana, hardly aware of the helicopter pilot taking off in fear. His hazy gaze muddled the trees as he began stumbling blindly forward.

Kuroro lifted his head as the door opened for the first time in over a week. Kurapika, haggard, looking like he was about to drop on the spot, but most of all, completely drained of all vindictive spirit he'd had, staggered in.

He dropped to the floor and lay there, motionless. Sympathetically, for once, Kuroro quietly came over and sat next to his supine body. "Thus conscience does make cowards of us all?" he quoted softly.

Silence.

After a minute, Kurapika said, wearily, "How come you never told me you weren't the one who killed her?"

A vague sense of numbness in his pain as the real world flickered and left.

"...would you have believed me?"

...

"Maybe."

"Would it have made a difference?"

"Yes."

"Would you have reformed the Spiders if I'd told you?"

"...No."

"Why?"

He tried to force his dizzy mind back into the real world, where his footsteps were stopping to stand still, but his conscience drew him back to Kuroro's question in the spaceless room, and he reluctantly answered.

"Because I wouldn't have wanted to drive you to despair. I wouldn't have wanted to show you my determination to destroy your will, by being stronger than you and leading your group better than you."

"That seems childishly straightforward," Kuroro said with a smirk, yet thinking to himself that there was another force behind Kurapika's purpose that he'd didn't even know about yet.

"Oh, what do you know," Kurapika snapped as he rolled away from the man beside him, so that he was lying on his side. After a minute, Kuroro sighed.

"I guess I never did have someone who meant that much to me, let alone lose them in the most painful way."

"Try losing everyone that way." The crunch of dead leaves as he fell to his knees.

Kuroro smiled ruefully. "Which really hurt you more, Kuruta? Losing your family, or losing her?"

"They're incomparable."

"...True."

"But if I had to answer," Kurapika rolled back over and looked up into Kuroro's inquiring eyes, "I'd say that losing my tribe ten times over wouldn't be half as painful as losing her. Back then, there were dozens of people for me to love, to love me in return. But...for three years, it was just me and her. We only had each other. We only needed each other. She was sunlight; she was..."

He stopped before continuing, not letting flashes of unuttered thought pass his lips: that she was healing the only part of him he couldn't heal himself: his own self. The pain of losing her was just too great, he couldn't bear it; he had locked everything that was human away.

"Are you actually opening up to me?" Kuroro gave a Cheshire grin.

Trees, barren branches, leaving the world of light completely.

"Be nice."

Kuroro smiled. "For once, I think we understand each other, Kuruta."

Kurapika's legs finally gave out as darkness claimed him, and though he was not aware of it, he landed not on stubbly undergrowth, but in the soft lap of a white-clad geisha.

**Author's Notes: **Yes, I killed off Senritsu. She was my favorite character besides Kurapika, too (little sniffle). Oh, and by the way, in case you haven't read "Notes on a Kuruta", this is post destroying the Dark Sonata, when she's regained her original form and is (to Kura at least), somewhat attractive. I hope that answers some of the questions about why he changed and about his motivations, although I can't help but think that they're a little unclear, even now. I'll be clarifying more later.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

**Music Suggestion: **Unintended by Muse

They were a rather quiet pair, really. The tap tapping of the keyboard was answered by the turning of pages, and really, they were quite happy just doing that. Presently, Shalnark rose up from his seat and stretched, then called out to his roommate, "Shizuku, I'm going to bed now, I'll see you in the morning."

No response.

He frowned a little and walked over to where her dark head was bent over the book in her lap. "Hey, Shizuku, you'll get a crick in your neck if you...Ah."

He smiled as he knelt in front of her, taking off her glasses gently. Her soft, rhythmic breathing told him what he wanted to know, and he shook his head merrily.

Carefully, he slid his arms under her knees and shoulders and lifted her from the chair, her book dropping to the floor as he did so. He cradled her to his chest as he brought her into the bedroom and placed her on one of the beds, putting her glasses on the nightstand between. Her eyes flickered half-open as he worked a pillow under her head, and for a moment she stared at him questioningly. "Is it morning already?"

He laughed lightly as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. "It's just past one," he answered.

"Ah, sou desu ne. Where's my book?"

"In the other room. You, young lady, are getting to sleep now. No more reading for you."

She pouted a little. "Shalnark, you're so mean."

His eyes roved over her face as he sat there in silence. Tentatively, he reached out and stroked a stray couple of strands of black hair out of her face. She blinked up at him as he did so.

"Shalnark?"

"Mm?"

"That man in my dreams, he looks the same, but he reminds me of you."

"Am I really that monstrous?" he asked, smiling. She shook her head as she sat up.

"No, I mean, he's so gentle. You're so gentle. I..." she blushed a little, looking away, "I kind of like a gentle man."

"Ah, is that so?" he asked, still smiling. "Well, I hope I'll see you in your dreams, then, Shizuku." He got up, but looked back as he felt a warm pressure on his hand.

"Shalnark?"

"Yes?"

She did not release his hand. "You'll be there in the morning, right?"

"Yes." He bent over and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I'll be here."

.

The blankets were soft. The air was warm, and it seemed that music was playing...somewhere?

Kurapika blinked open his eyes and lay there for a minute, staring at the wood of the ceiling and the painted paper fusuma. His body felt fresh and renewed, despite the lingering feeling of poison that always infiltrated his body after sleeping; he sat up and felt his leg. He was sure he had not healed it himself before he had fallen unconscious, but there was no wound, not even a scar, neither there or on his back.

He got up completely, noting the fresh yukata he was wearing, and shook his loose hair away from his face. His clothing was folded neatly on the floor next to his bed, and the katana that had appeared, like a miracle, placed on top.

He picked it up in wonder, turning it over in his hands as he inspected the handle. It was a top-notch weapon, from the Edo period of Japan, if he wasn't mistaken. He slid off the scabbard and ran his fingers carefully along the side of the blade. It was nothing like his tanto; no, this sort of weapon wouldn't crack even if it was struck again and again against hard metal or rock. It was in a class of its own.

As he slid it back into the scabbard, he heard the quiet sliding opening and shutting of a door and looked up as a slender young maiko in a full, beautiful pink and yellow furisode entered, a bunch of folded blankets in her arms.

"Ah, you're awake!" she said, cheerfully, putting the blankets down and standing there with her hands folded femininely in front of her. "Akatsuki-sama seemed very worried when she brought you in two days ago, and I have to admit, that isn't an emotion she wears often. My name is Setsuko, by the way."

"I'm...Kurapika...Two...days...?" Her brisk words seemed to sink in very slowly, and he brought a hand up to his head to massage his temples. "Have I really been...like that...for two days?"

"Yes! But you're feeling better now, right? I'm really surprised she healed you like that; she doesn't normally heal people unless she feels like it. Not to mention bringing you here the way she did."

"She carried me...all the way here? By herself?"

"Well, it's not like it's that hard, you know," replied Setsuko. "You're all of like 40 kg after all; you look like you were drawn by a manga artist."

"Manga artist?"

"You know, someone who draws manga, like Takeuchi Naoko, or Togashi...oh, forget it."

He only grunted in response, the annoyed thought coming to his mind that he was seriously tired of passing out and being treated like a maiden in distress. Speaking of "dis dress", he glanced down at the yukata he was wearing and was a little nauseated that it was patterned with small blue cornflowers. "You do realize that I'm male, yes?"

"Oh, yes, and I don't think that was lost on the maiko who changed your clothes, either."

Kurapika narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Exactly why do you sound so certain?"

"Easy," she chirped. "Only a man who was fully secure about his masculinity would wear his hair like that."

Maybe he should cut it, after all.

He was saved from such ungodly thoughts when Akatsuki herself slid open the fusuma door, kneeling on the floor as she did so. She was the perfect combination of gentle geisha that she was around other men, and daringly confrontational around him.

"Setsuko, that's enough, leave."

Setsuko gave one last sunny smile to Kurapika before she quickly and quietly took her leave. Akatsuki listened to the door close behind her and continued to stand there like that, neither moving, neither looking away. It was the game again, but this time Kurapika was less insistent on winning.

"Why?" He asked simply.

"Why what?"

"Why did you do that for me?"

"Do which for you?"

Crap, it's another game, Kurapika thought. He couldn't for the life of him ever pin down her personality; it was as elusive as sunrays in a shallow pond.

"Saving me. Throwing the katana, bringing me here, healing me...you're a nen healer, aren't you?"

"Only when I feel like it. But the only one I can't heal is myself," she said, approaching and sitting down on her knees next to the futon he was sitting on.

"That's what Setsuko said."

She clucked her tongue lightly in annoyance and changed the subject. "You still haven't told me anything about why you were fighting, in the first place...Kuruta."

He blinking startledly. "You've heard of the Kuruta clan?"

"Of course. Who do you think I am?"

He sighed as he got up and walked towards the paper walls facing what he could hear from the chirping of birds was the garden outside. He slid one side open, pensively, as old memories, which should already have been vindicated, drifted like seafoam on the restless waves of his mind.

He took in the scene of Japanese maples and stone lanterns silently for a minute before lowly answering, "Everything I have done for the last ten years has been focused on my revenge. All my power, all my motivation, is outsourced from it. Even though the ones responsible are dead now, it still haunts me."

She came to join him at the door and caught his gaze.

"And those men two days ago?"

"They were responsible for something else, a different death, unrelated."

"Who?"

He could not utter it, it was too close to his heart for uttering out loud. Instead, he leaned against the wooden support she was standing in front of. Moving forward, that was the only way to forget the past and retain who he'd become.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked huskily, eyes traveling over her face, her creamy painted skin, her full red lips.

"It has nothing to do with anything," she answered cryptically, and moved out onto the wooden patio outside.

He observed her back, her rigid form and delicate upturned chin against the grey haze of the sky.

"You really are like a trapped bird," he said, and was rewarded by her startled look as she turned around.

"Nani?"

"You, barred by convention, a carefully tailored pleasure object, an expensive, talented doll."

She stared at him for another minute before her stiff shoulders relaxed and she smiled quirkily at him. "Yes, that is what I am, and this is my backdrop." She gestured with a little laugh at the garden, at the spread of the house, even her own kimono. "Just a doll, and you are just a well-trained, powerful koma in some kami's twisted game of shogi."

"It is my game, and I am the one playing it."

"You're a piece, nonetheless."

He sighed as he wearily turned to walk back inside. She did not turn around as he closed the door behind him.

.

It wasn't often when he took off his gloves, but today Bolonolev found himself fingering the leather thoughtfully as he stared at the man in front of him. It wasn't that he was any sort of threat, just that Bolonolev was in a bit of a mood to do some actual damage today. Simple attacks like "Batte Cantabile" got boring after awhile, after all, and every musician needed to practice.

He made up his mind at last and slid the gloves off, flexing his fingers experimentally as he did.

"You're very lucky," he informed the thug.

Said thug stared stupidly at him. "What, that I've found such a puny opponent to fight tonight? Haha, yes, you're right, I'm lucky; even if you give up, I won't stop until I've crushed your bony body." He took a step forward, bulging muscles showing through the tanktop shirt he was wearing.

"No," said Bolonolev, stopping the other man short. "I mean, you're lucky that you'll be able to die so beautifully."

"What..."

Bolonolev gracefully floated his fingers through the air, wrist following in slow arches as he directed, composed, and performed at the same time. "Tonight I will give a concerto, and you will be the accompanying fireworks."

Like that, he went to work, the melodies weaving with only his hands, until bright light danced into being, beginning its hypnotizing dance of azure and gold and indigo. It formed mountain butterflies, tiny wildflowers, evanescent hummingbirds, until they surrounded his stupefied foe and enveloped him in refracting rainbow shards.

The last sound the man made was a strangled laugh as all of the molecules of his body succumbed to the explosion and burst out into sparkling chasers of darkness.

Bolonolev picked up a glove, considered it, then put off putting it back on. For a few minutes, he only ran his hands in rhythmic circles, for the first time since Phinks had died.

Phinks had liked listening to his music. Bolonolev remembered the Egyptian's expression, which softened from sarcastic smirks into peaceful smiles. Since his death, had he even played a note just for beauty's sake?

He sighed as he replaced the boxing gloves. Perhaps, if he had been born earlier, or later, in a time when Kuroro had not discovered him, in a family where he could just have been yet another greatly skilled dancer-musician, he would have lived for nothing but beauty, only making music for the enjoyment of others.

But that was the farthest thing from reality. He was a Spider, and he had left behind that sort of life in favor of beautiful destruction.

.

"You're leaving?"

Kurapika looked up as Setsuko, setting down a tray of tea, observed him, dressed in his mended outfit, taking one last glance at the garden adjacent to the room he had been staying in.

"Yes. Thank you for your hospitality."

The young maiko blushed a little, even under the makeup she wore, and fluttered her hands embarassedly. "No, no, not at all, it is my honor to have served you." She flashed him one of her happy smiles. "But Akatsuki-sama will be so disappointed to see you leave. Should I get her?"

"No," he answered. "There is no need to call her."

Evening fell, and reluctantly the waning moon, just a sliver now, heaved itself from the eastern horizon to hang in the sky, its last journey before it died and was reborn.

And still he waited on the crest of the hill. Stars passed in their slow journey overhead; Regulus of the Lion appeared and then dropped down hours later.

And still he waited.

Presently, he became aware of a presence behind him, but did not glance back. "You came."

"You waited."

He stood, then, and walked over to where she stood, illumined in her white garb. "You're leaving," she said, softly.

"Even the king must move from one square to another."

"And the doll must stay mounted against a painted backdrop."

"Not if someone picks her up and moves her." He closed his hands around her shoulders and drew her against him. "Come with me."

She felt the erratic beating of his heart, her head pressed against his chest, the layers of her kimono and obi still not shielding the strength in his slim form. She closed her cherry-wood colored eyes and moved her hands to enclose around his neck.

"I can't," she breathed.

"You can. Leave behind the life of the doll, come live the life of many adventures in many countries, come join me in my quest for justice in this world."

"Your vengeance will never be fulfilled," she murmured, reading between the lines. "It doesn't matter how many you kill, can't you understand? It's a neverending dance, restless, ceaseless. You will never be happy as long as you pursue it."

His body stiffened at her words. "What do you know." Tenno returned coldly as he pulled away from her and stood, not touching her. She did not restrain him, but the wall behind her eyes returned.

"In your lifetime, you can't know the volume that an immortal can," she mocked him.

"Didn't I already tell you? I am Tenno. I am above this world." His proud features gave glint of red as he glared down at her.

She smirked and turned away. "Sayonara, Tenno." His steps haltingly walked away from her, then less hesitantly, and he was gone.

Nymph, in thy orisons

Be all my sins remembered.

**Author's Notes: **I realize Kurapika isn't very likeable right now, but I've been trying to draw out the characteristics of the rest of the Spiders. Obviously, the Shalnark/Shizuku duo, but I always really liked Bolonolev (as musicians will) and wanted to show him actually enjoying his own music for once.

Argh, I'm really starting to regret destroying the Palace of Westminster; it was necessary for demonstration purposes, but a bunch of people don't like it. Hell, I don't like it either, what's the matter with you, Kurapika? lol


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

**Music Suggestion: **Hymn to Red October by Basil Poledouris

Come under the shadow of this red rock, and I will show you fear in a handful of sand.

Sometimes the water was cobalt blue, but when the sun hid its ghostly self behind layers of clouds, the water was like steel, like today. The puzzlework land between the fjords were inworked with whitewashed, square-windowed establishments; the call of the sea affected the blood of all Norwegians and pulled them as far out to sea as possible.

Kanzo was no stranger to the sea, but this kind of sea was strange to him. He sniffed the air as he stood on the small sandy shore; it was the smell of frozen salt and chipped sea-wood.

Next to him, the tall woman called Valentyna stood with no little amount of mistrust in her eyes. "The sea I am familiar with; the ocean I have no kinship to," she murmured, gripping her own strong arms under the heavy tan coat she wore.

He gave her a tight-lipped smile. "You'll get used to it, eventually. Any word from Tenno?"

"Yes, he's on his way," she answered. Then she added, thoughtfully, "It's a funny name, Tenno. Three years ago I would have laughed if you told me he'd take that sort of name. I wonder why he chose it?"

"Because he wants to outdo Danchou, I suppose," came the thin voice of Coltopi, who came to join them with the Zoldadyks, his green hair revealing a tiny bit of his chin as it whipped in the wind. Illumi and Kalluto just stood there, saying nothing. They were Zoldadyks, after all.

"Know contentment

And you will suffer no disgrace;

Know when to stop

And you will meet with no danger."

They all looked up at the Ninja as he stood there, quoting softly, his hands absentmindedly practicing flicking throws sans shuriken. He gave Kalluto a wan smile as the kimono-clad boy remembered his peculiar habit of quoting Lao Tzu.

They could make out the forms of Shizuku and Shalnark, a few hundred feet away, perched atop an overhanging cliff. Shalnark was pointing out to sea and saying something. There was a little more tenderness in the glances they gave one another, the rest of the Spiders thought, observing them.

Kanzo looked back out at the small boats on the waves. Tenno would return soon, and the next mission would begin.

You can then endure.

.

He was as cold as always, and wasted as few words as possible, even on introductions. If anything, there was even more chill in his manner now since they had departed, and a haunting look in which Valentyna read an unuttered name.

"Kura...Tenno, what happened?" she asked him gently as the Spiders separated in their usual anti-social corners when they had taken up lodging in an old boat builder's shop. He gave her a sideways look which revealed nothing.

"Nothing happened. I went to train in China, and reassessed the plan for the next mission."

She considered him for a minute as his eyes retrained on the book he was reading. "That's not what I meant. What happened...with you and Senri..."

Kurapika suddenly closed his book with a snap and glared at her, eyes rimmed red, flickering back and forth between agitation. "It's none of your business, so don't ask." He got up and began walking briskly outside.

She caught up to him easily, her strides easily being twice as long as his, and grabbed his shoulder as the door slammed behind them. He was no match for her physical strength, though naturally he could have restrained her with nen if he wanted to; but now was not the time, so he merely stopped where he was, trying to control his anger.

"You should know better than to think that I'm going to let you get off like that," she said quietly, with undeniable undertones. "When I met you three years ago, you seemed contented, and I know that she was the reason for that. Now, you're nothing but ice. Where is she now? Why isn't she with you?"

He still stood there, breathing deeply, clenching and unclenching his jaw.

Finally, he turned and faced her. "Senritsu was killed two years ago by the York Shin mafia," he answered, and the color in his eyes died completely, leaving only black bottomless holes.

Valentyna's eyes smarted painfully as she thought back to the sweet, tiny girl who had befriended her after their first confrontational encounter over the eyes. She had heard that at one point Senritsu had had a deformed body, the result of a cursed piece of music, but by the time she had met her, the girl was an attractive young lady with soft brown hair and large hazel eyes, full of smiles and gentle wisdom. The fact that she was gone seemed to strike her as impossible.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, but Kurapika's face snapped away, to face the cold waves and and white tipped hills in the distance.

"It's in the past," he said. "There's no reason to think about it anymore. Come on, let's go back in. It's freezing here."

Ah, but, she thought, even if you try to forget, you will never be able to, will you?

.

Shalnark gasped in amazement when he saw the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his life. His eyes took on a certain gleam as he stepped forward against the rail of the ship that was approaching the object of his admiration.

"So...pretty..." he murmured. Behind him, Shizuku exchanged a glance with Bolonolev.

"We've lost him," muttered Coltopi to the two of them. Shizuku shook her head in humor. "I don't even want to think of what he'll be like once we're inside," she said.

Kurapika was also leaning against the railing, taking in the sight. When they were within fifty feet, a familiar orange-haired, crescent-eyed man stood up from the hatch and carelessly stood next to the sail, one foot crane-style against the other.

"Welcome aboard the _Nautilus IV_," said Hisoka as the Spiders dismounted onto the small submarine.

"Captain," said Kurapika, albeit a little begrudgingly, and they descended inside. Once they were all gathered together in the rounded living quarters, Shalnark began sending longing looks toward the control room, where Hisoka was heading. "So...nice..." he said again, before Tenno brought his attention back to the matter at hand.

The small submarine began its silent path into the freezing waters of northern Norway.

"Ano, Tenno, exactly what is this mission?" Kanzo ventured, noting the darkness that invaded the small round windows as they began their descent. Inside, a soft orange-red glow lit the interior.

"I have learned that there is a terrorist group off the coast of the city of Lofoten who are plotting to thermally melt part of the northern ice cap, raising the water levels past the norms, partially submerging the British Isles and northern Europe in order to gain certain demands. They currently reside in a dome-based fully-sustainable underwater base...Hisoka, why in the world are you singing 'mop the deck'?"

There was a humored laugh that always sounded like the magician was being half strangled. "I'm just giving a little mood music. Come now, Kuruta, haven't you ever watched 'The Hunt for the Red October'?"

"Of course. And call me Tenno."

"Haven't you ever listened to the music?" continued Hisoka, ignoring his comment. "They always sound like they're singing, 'mop the deck, mop the deck'." He gave another chortle of pleasure at his own joke, while Kurapika managed to pull together his dignity and face the rest of the Spiders.

"Breaking into the base itself will be the most difficult part." He produced a set of blueprints (though giving no indication how he had procured them) and pinned them to a military board. "As you can see, due to their nuclear self-sustaining life support system, they limit their sonar alert system. If we approach from the right angle, and thanks to the silence of the diesel-electric engines, we will be able to practically park at their doorstep without detection. That's where the difficulties begin.

"We have enough diving suits for six of us to penetrate the base. The remaining members will stay behind with communication equipment in order to alert us of any changes we need to be concerned with. However, although their sonar system is poor, their inner security system is excellent. Our target is the central dome." He pointed to a dome that was connected to the other surrounding five domes. "The only way to enter it is through one of the outer domes. This means we will need to breach at least four levels of security. Shalnark," calling the wandering gaze of the brown-haired young man, "you are responsible for disabling the laser system as we breach the outermost wall. Valentyna will use her nen shield to guard you from attacks while Illumi will use his pins to take out the guards before they raise the alarm. Once we're past that level, we will need to infiltrate the outer dome and enter the halls. Kanzo, you will enter stealthily and take out the alarm systems in the dome while myself, Illumi and Kanzo, take out everyone in there after you're done.

"The inner dome's security systems are unrevealed, so we will have to consider what to do when we get there. That's where the code for the operation is, and it has to be handled with extreme care. If we touch it physically it will start the process of melting the ice caps.

"Bolonolev is the key to destroying the base without setting off the default destruction system which will hydro-thermally melt the ice cap if the base itself is destroyed. Since you can create nen weapons using sound only, you will be responsible for setting off the reaction that will lead to the implosion of the base."

"Tenno," said Kanzo, "why can't we just destroy it using missiles? This submarine has torpedoes, yes?"

"Yes, but the problem is that, as I mentioned, the base is triggered to begin the meltdown if it is destroyed using physical means. Therefore, it is necessary that we accomplish it this way."

The rest of the Spiders, save Shalnark, who was stealthily creeping into the control room, where Hisoka was now beginning a rendition of "Under the Sea", nodded seriously.

"Ultimately, the priority of this mission is the destroyal of the base. I have no doubts that we should all be able to make it out alive, but if something goes wrong," Kurapika paused, "accomplish the objective first."

Otherwise, he thought to himself, millions of innocent people may die.

.

"Hisoka. What's our status?"

It had been two weeks, and, after refueling, they had dove down again. He knew they were getting close.

Hisoka gave a pale-lipped smile as he indicated on the radar screen. "We're closing in...Tenno." He gave a sarcastic look to Kurapika.

"Good. ETA?"

"Four hours."

"All right." He called the rest of the Spiders to himself as he descended into the military briefing room. When they had all assembled, he said, "Everyone is clear?"

They all nodded, eyes trained on him. Kurapika glanced out a window at the approaching underwater base, now outlined in an eerie yellow glow.

"Commence Operation: Nemo."

Hisoka guided the small submarine easily past the enemy sonar systems; there was no other ship within detection. He grinned at Kurapika, who was donning his diving gear with Kanzo, Valentyna, Illumi, Shalnark, and Bolonolev.

"All yours, Tenno," he said, never letting up on the sarcastic note when he said the name Kurapika had chosen.

They exited the pressurized hatch and began swimming towards the outlined shell of one of the outer domes.

Shalnark easily hacked into the system, and they entered into the outer room, which drained all entering water, leaving them free to take off their diving suits before they began the next step: breaking into the first security room.

Everything went as planned, and Illumi and Kanzo took out the guards while Valentyna guarded them. Then Shalnark began to fiddle with the laser system that would enable them to break into the next room, and frowned.

"What's wrong," Kurapika said, coming closer to him. Shalnark pointed.

"The system is already down. It's almost as if they were expecting us...baiting us..." He swallowed hard. Kurapika looked grim.

"Whatever happens, continue on," he said.

The next room was a large, high ceilinged place of grey walls and military screens illuminating the otherwise dark room, with maybe twenty men stationed at various desks, incorporating certain tasks. When one looked up, he gave a startled cry at the intruders, alerting the others, and attempted to set off the alarm system which Kanzo had already gotten rid of.

Though the personnel had weapons, they were no match for the group, who took them out and entered through a door into the narrow corridor that linked to the main room.

They were not expecting the series of sensitive lasers that burnt a small hole through Illumi's right shoulder before they destroyed them. "Damn," he hissed, showing the slightest amount of pain.

Reaching the end of the corridor, Kurapika nodded to Shalnark. "See if you can disable any traps; Valentyna, serve as a shield for him while he does so." As they set to work, he turned to Illumi.

"Illumi. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Nevertheless, Kurapika thought to himself, it would be handy to have a healer on the team. I can heal myself, but the rest can't. His mind flashed back to Akatsuki.

Shalnark gave a strangled gasp of surprise. "Tenno."

"What." He hurried over to where Shalnark was crouching next to the airtight door.

He pointed. "It's already been tampered with, look. There aren't any security systems in the room still working."

Kurapika gritted his teeth as Shalnark started to hack into the door. "Someone's definitely here," he muttered.

The main dome was surprising small, and completely unmanned. He got the feeling that it had been untouched since the first day it had been made, and held his breath in anticipation.

"Nobody touch anything," he said quietly. "Bolonolev, quickly."

As Bolonolev began his musical work, creating what appeared to be a spiral of pure, colored musical sound, Coltopi's voice came through Kurapika's earpiece.

"Tenno!" He sounded uncharacteristically worried.

"What."

"I don't know how they got past our sonar, but visibly, we can see through the periscope using Gyou...there's another vehicle here. Shizuku says it's definitely nen-enforced. We're not alone."

Kurapika swallowed hard. "There's another vehicle here," he announced to the rest of the Spiders.

"Backups?" asked Illumi.

"I don't know. But we need to finish up quickly. Bolonolev, how is it?"

"Finished," Bolonolev said, spinning to a halt as his dance ended. Instantly, all the lights in the base dimmed and a low sound intoned throughout.

"Tenno!" Valentyna's voice came from behind.

"What."

"The corridors are beginning to cave in! If we don't leave now, we won't be able to get back to our diving gear."

"Go!" he shouted, as the other Spiders started sprinting. They passed through the darkened tunnels and the outer dome, hearing the cries of the inhabitants of the underwater base on the intercom system as it began caving in, water swirling in.

"Just a little further," he gritted out to himself, seeing the others enter into the outer room ahead of him with their gear. At that moment, he felt a paralyzing chill as water began seeping up to his knees, and he suddenly knew.

"Close the door!" he shouted to Shalnark, who gaped unheard words at him, but the door began closing of its own accord. The water began to close around his neck as he was washed up against the shut door.

He smiled grimly and closed his eyes as the water poured over his head; his entire body was going numb from the shock of the icy frigid water.

Hadn't he once told someone, "I do not fear death, but only that my anger will abate"? Well, his anger had never abated.

To die, to sleep-

No more-and by a sleep to say we end/ The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks/ That flesh is heir to.

It's fine, he told himself, his ears beginning to pop as the system keeping out the enormous pressure from being this far underwater finally gave in altogether.

The world went black immediately.

.

"Tenno!" Shalnark shouted as the doors shut completely. Behind him, the others were already getting into their diving suits. Valentyna grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to put on his own.

"What are you doing? We should get back out there..."

"It's too late," Illumi said emotionlessly. "By now the system has let in all the water pressure. He'll be dead in an instant."

"We need to get out of here ourselves, before the same thing happens to us," Bolonolev added. "If he'd known about Danchou's condition..."

Shalnark knew they were right, but somehow, he couldn't shake off his regret, even though he knew the man had killed their leader once known as "Danchou".

Perhaps a Spider had a conscience, after all.

**Author's Notes: **Yes, if you listen to the "Hymn of Red October", it really does sound like they're singing "mop the deck", although I can't personally take credit for being the one to notice this.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

**Music Suggestion: **Omnos by Eluveitie and the 10th Doctor's Theme by Murray Gold from the tv series Doctor Who

Bleared...pain...splitting headache...ears...caving in...

He sat up, wherever he was, and clutched his head with both hands. It felt like his head was exploding, and he could hear nothing but a low drumming. His vision had gone completely blank, but he willed his eyes to turn scarlet.

He held out his right thumb, though he could not see it, and let the cross-shaped chain wrap around his head. Gradually, the pain subsided, and his hearing and vision returned to normal.

Blinking as he let down his hand, he looked around. He was in a very small submarine, completely surrounded with clear glass, so that he could see the midnight blue waters on all sides. He lay on a cushioned bench which wrapped around the curved walls, and in front was a fair-haired man in a full-sleeved white shirt and light blue vest, gently maneuvering the vehicle with the simple control system. He would have looked completely normal if it weren't for three S shaped red scars on the back of his skull. As the man heard Kurapika sit up, he swiveled around slightly and gave him a tentative look.

"You're awake."

"I didn't think I ever would wake. What happened?"

The man paused for a minute. "Before I answer any questions, who are you?"

"...my name is Kurapika Kuruta, known as Tenno. I lead a group of specialized fighters known as the Genei Ryodan. Our goal was to destroy the terrorist base," he said briefly, sensing that the man would not say anything until the complete truth was told.

"Ah, the Genei Ryodan. You're the ones responsible for blowing up the Palace of Westminster, right? A group of specialized fighters? More like extremely powerful criminals," he said. Then he shrugged. "It's not like I can talk, really; I'm a renegade myself. Frankly, I should be angry that you took out my target before me, but since it means that I didn't end up dying in the process, as per my original plan, I should be grateful to you." He gave Kurapika a rakish, albeit still somewhat suspicious, grin.

"Would you please tell me what happened," Kurapika said, still completely confused as to why he was still alive. He should have died instantly.

The man's powder blue eyes narrowed at him. "Can I trust you?" he asked.

"With what?"

"If I tell you how I rescued you, it will reveal my nen ability. Can I trust you not to leak out the information?"

"How can you trust me?"

The man fully faced Kurapika, and he could see how pale his skin was, a typical far-northern European look. "I have my own goals, and you have a group who could help me achieve what I can't achieve on my own. Let me join you."

"That depends on your abilities. I can't let anyone but a masterful nen user into the group. It must not weaken."

"I saved you, didn't I? Do you honestly think a normal person could do that?"

"...tell me, and I will decide. But first, we need to return to my comrades. They probably believe I am dead."

"Already done. We're tracking the submarine."

"What if they sense that we're following them? The _Nautilus IV _is fully equipped with torpedoes. They'll shoot us down."

"Not in this baby," the man said, patting the glassed sides of the pod-like submarine proudly. "It's equipped with a magnetohydrodynamic drive. The only way they'll know we're here is if they see us, and as you can see, the entire thing is made of reflecting glass."

"All right." Kurapika allowed himself to relax a little. "But having a nifty little boat like this isn't going to make me trust your abilities enough to let you into the Spiders."

The other man sighed. "Fine," he said, "I'm a water-manipulator. Meaning, I draw my nen strength from water, and can form it into whatever shape I want. Unless we're in the middle of a desert, I virtually have weapons at my disposal at any time. That's how I rescued you; just before the pressure pulverized you, I surrounded you with an underwater air bubble and brought you onboard here."

"It seems useful," said Kurapika. "In any case, my life is indebted to you. When we reach the surface, I will confer with the rest of the Genei Ryodan and we will consider it."

"Okay," said the other man, and turned around to continue navigating.

Kurapika sat there in silence for another moment before asking, "What is your name?"

"Bergron," the other answered, without looking back.

.

"Tenno?" Shizuku's eyes widened as the man they had all assumed dead walked into their temporary headquarters, a large abandoned farm-house, followed by a tall blond man.

"We thought you were dead," Shalnark said, stating the obvious, while the rest just stared.

"Well, I'm not," he said, "thanks to this man, Bergron."

"You...you...how?" continued Shalnark, still blankly.

"That's a long story...uh oh..." Kurapika wrinkled his nose in worry. Crap.

A second later, a mini volcano erupted as he sneezed explosively. Then another. He walked over to a couch unsteadily and sat down. "Argh," he said. Not good, not good.

A soft hand covered his forehead as Shizuku said, "You have a fever."

"This cannot be happening," he muttered wearily.

The old Spiders all had a look of absolute, abject fear. "Ooookay," said Shalnark with a shaky laugh. "Off to bed, there's a nice bedroom over here...that's right..." As soon as Kurapika was safely inside the large bedroom, Coltopi and Bolonolev each slammed the door together, locked it, and placed various articles of heavy furniture in front.

"Virus...contained," muttered Coltopi. "Quarantine begins."

Bergron blinked. "Exactly what...?"

Hisoka gave his little chuckle. "There appears to be a sickness phobia in this group," he said, "ever since the entire group came down with the flu four years ago and had to cancel a mission."

"I really wanted that jewel, too," muttered Shizuku, as the rare memory stung her.

Inside, Kurapika had realized what was going on and began pounding on the door furiously. Kalluto afforded his direction a look of pity.

"Sorry, Tenno, but you're just stuck in there until you get better," he said.

Then they drew lots to see who had to bring in chicken soup.

.

Kurapika could not believe he had had the unromantic misfortune to catch a cold. Drifting off to sleep, he muttered to Kuroro, "I am...Tenno," between sneezes. "Tenno of the Spiders...should not catch colds!"

"Hey, you're only human," said Kuroro easily, grinning a little. Kurapika shot him a look. "But don't get near me," he added quickly, stepping back as the other caught his next sneeze in a handkerchief. "I don't want to catch it."

"You've got to be kidding me. Kuroro Lucifer, the dreaded Danchou of the Genei Ryodan, can catch a cold?"

"In a partly corporeal state, nonetheless."

"You're friggin' DEAD and we're in my SUBCONSCIOUS. How could you possibly catch my cold?"

Kuroro shrugged as Kurapika hunted in vain for a dry spot on his mental handkerchief. "Beats me."

Kurapika snorted with laughter, the first, physically or mentally, since Senritsu died. "That's...pathetic."

"Oh? And Kurapika Kuruta, the dreaded Tenno of the Spiders can catch a cold, too? That's so...girly."

Kurapika gritted his teeth, good mood dampened like his handkerchief. "Take that back."

"Make me." Kurapika launched himself at Kuroro and tackled him to the floor of air, pummeling him, albeit with far less force than ever before.

It was the first time they'd fought without trying to tear each others throats out.

.

"I feel a little sorry for Tenno," Shizuku said, as she stirred the pot of thick hot broth in the kitchen. Shalnark, leaning up against the counter next to her, smiled a little.

"Hey, at least he's still alive!" he answered cheerfully.

"That's true," Shizuku said, meditatively. Then she suddenly became very quiet, stopping the stirring. After a minute, smelling the bottom of the soup begin to burn, Shalnark hastily grabbed onto the wooden spoon she was holding and began stirring with her. "I think it's time to add the vegetables," he said, turning to the cutting board. He was stopped suddenly by a little hand keeping his from letting go of the spoon. He turned, wide eyes open.

"Shizuku, what's wrong?"

There were shiny tears glittering in her large eyes behind her glasses as she looked up at him. "Shal, when the base began to cave in, and we were watching from the submarine, I..." She gulped back a little sob, blinking her eyes so that the tears slid onto her cheeks. "I thought...you all were dying, I thought..._you_ were dying!" She let go of his hand and turned, walking a few steps away, where she stood quivering.

Stunned, Shalnark dropped the spoon into the soup and put his hands softly on her shoulders. "Shizuku...it's alright, we're all right...I..." His breathing suddenly quickened as he caught the inference in the word she had stressed.

_I thought..._you _were dying!_

"Shizu...ku..." He suddenly gripped her shoulders firmly and pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and upper chest. She gripped them with her hands, struggling to control herself.

"I'll be here," he whispered, his lips lightly brushing against her ear.

Behind the two of them, the soup merrily boiled and burned. Tenno would just have to deal with scalded soup.

.

"Hisoka, what have you been up to the last four years, anyhow?" Everyone looked up at Coltopi's question toward the orange-haired magician who was building yet another card castle next to the snapping fireplace.

Hisoka slid a glance around. "Why do you want to know?"

Coltopi shrugged. "You wanted to fight Danchou, yes? That's why you betrayed the rest of us when Pakunoda went to redeem him. Did you ever end up fighting him?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"The outcome should be obvious, no?" He gave a sly little grin.

"In other words, he beat you and let you live."

"I prefer to consider it a one-sided truce."

"Whatever." Coltopi sighed, a little tired of his word games. Instead, he began looking around at the others.

Valentyna seemed to be engaged in a conversation with Bolonolev and Kanzo about throwing techniques; Bergron was watching all the others with an expression that never seemed to deviate from wariness, as he considered all possible escape options in case the others attacked him and what their weaknesses were; Illumi and Kalluto were as far away from the others as possible, talking in low tones about whatever two brother-assassins from the Zoaldadyk family talk about. For his part, he trusted them least of all; they always seemed treacherous, no matter how much time he spent with them, but he could not put his finger on it.

He sighed a little, wishing Machi was there. Machi would have known; her instincts were rarely wrong, and the rest of them had always relied on her as if it were encyclopedia information.

He smiled a tad wistfully, though of course no one else could see it. For all her cold demeanor, Machi was the most faithful of them all, to Danchou, to the Spider, to any of them individually. At the same time, she wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice, if that was the right thing to do. Yes, it was really too bad, though he could not conjure up the emotions to say he was sad, about her death.

Shalnark and Shizuku reappeared from where they had been making soup, and he noted the very slight blush that was gracing her features. Not being acquainted with the feelings of romance most people take for granted, Coltopi couldn't put into words the hunch he was getting about the two of them; but it did seem...what? Unsettling...?

"Oh, look, Shal! It's snowing!" Everyone turned to look at the two of them as Shizuku excitedly tugged on Shalnark's arm, going over to the window.

Bergron, from where he sat in his uncompromising position, sighed. "So? It's Norway, and it's January. It's always snowing."

Shizuku turned her gently shining eyes at him. Her face was more alight than the others had seen in a long time. "But it's beautiful every time. All that white, coming down like it does, covering everything, all the blemishes, all the ugliness." She sighed happily, leaning against the window and making little clouds on the window, while Shalnark gazed out where he stood next to her, thinking with a little grin, probably, "Just like your memory, Shizuku."

Yes, thought Coltopi, there's definitely something going on between those two.

.

The sneezes were beginning to come with less exuberance and frequency now, and the rest of the Spiders had decided that it was time to let their indignant leader out.

"But if any of us get sick, we're blaming you," Bolonolev announced as Kurapika showed himself for the first time in a week. The blond chain-assassin ignored him and marched over to the kitchen. He wanted something other than burnt chicken soup for once, and before his system crashed. Furthermore, he was beginning to feel like the full bed rest he'd had for the last week hadn't done any good whatsoever. His system was feeling diseased from within. It weakened his resolve and all sense of humanity he still had within his tortured, closed off soul.

"Still the same as ever," Valentyna chuckled, a little nervously. "I'm starting to worry about you, Tenno."

"No need," came the brief, dark reply from the kitchen. Her expression a little hurt, she looked back over at the others.

The room, which had been chilly enough to begin with, along with that hushed silence, that of a blanket over a mute stereo, which always comes with a heavy snowfall, decreased in temperature by several degrees and made the rest all feel uneasy.

From a smaller room, where Bergron had cloistered himself, came the low, haunting tones of a bass recorder.

Kurapika dropped the piece of bread he was spreading preserves on, and jerked to attention.

_Flute...the sound of a flute...brown hair...turning, swirling, sweet laughter...hazel eyes...blood...BLOOD...lying, dying, twisting torment...stop, stop, STOP!_

"STOP!" he shouted aloud, storming into the living room, quivering. "Stop it, stop it, whoever's doing that!"

They all looked up, stunned as his feverish blood-red eyes whirled around the room, looking for the source. In the other room, Bergron had dropped his recorder in surprise when he heard the words.

"Stop," he whispered, dazedly, and stumbled back against the wall, where he covered his face with his hands.

"Leave," Valentyna mouthed soundlessly to the others, and, as they complied with her wishes, she tentatively approached him where he was, and only stood there in silence, sympathetically.

"Kurapika," she began, when she could take his pain no longer.

"Stop, stop, stop," he mournfully whispered, still covering his face.

"Kurapika," she said, more forcefully. "It wasn't your fault, so don't continue blaming yourself."

"Oh, God," he shuddered, sliding down the floor as he had the morning after he'd killed Uvogin. She halted before kneeling in front of him.

His voice trembled out, "I told myself...never to lose a comrade again...to my selfishness...and yet...and yet..." A heavy gasp escaped from his chest, struggling to keep in the sobs, the anguish.

Minutes passed like that, while the snow continued to fall outside, the muted golden glow of a clouded sunset seeping into the room. After a while, he controlled himself, and lifted dark eyes to meet hers, coldly.

"It doesn't matter," he said, standing and returning to the kitchen where he continued spreading preserves as if nothing had happened.

How can you be this way? Valentyna wondered, while the rest of the Spiders leaked in from their respective hiding places.

And then it came. A knock on the door, a small, feminine knock. They all froze. Nobody knocked on the door of a Spider.

Kanzo was the first to react, moving to the door and speaking against the wood, "Who's there?"

"One who will speak to Tenno."

He narrowed his eyes, recognizing the accent in his mother tongue. "Tenno," he called at the kitchen, where Kurapika emerged. "It's someone from Kyoto."

**Author's Notes:** Argh, despite my dislike of emo-Kurapika, it seems he's turning in that direction, after all. Well, in order for the story to progress the way it needs to, I have to bring that out, anyway. But the rest of the Spiders seem happy, ne? What think you of "the inseparable S's"? Good romance? Bad romance? Unlikely romance?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

**Music Suggestion:** Tsukihana by Nana Kitade

At first he could do nothing but stand there.

Kyoto...how could she be here? How had she found him?

What would she do when she found out?

He walked over to the door, pushing Kanzo gently aside, and said, lowly, against the door, "What do you want."

"Why do you want to know?" came the soft voice from the other side. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the door with a grimace. Games, games, always games.

He opened the door suddenly and her eyes fluttered up to meet his. Her obi stood out in clear red against her kimono, against the falling snow that was covering her black hair.

"Akatsuki."

"Yes."

"Why did you come? How did you find me?"

"Does an immortal need to answer such questions?" She stepped forward with her taunting reply, but he blocked her path inside.

"Answer me."

"No."

He sighed heavily. "Why do you always have to win?" he muttered as he stepped aside and let her enter.

She took off her high-soled geta at the door and stood there, gazing around at the others with calm light brown eyes. They looked back at her with expressions of confusion and apprehension. Beauty, charm, poise incarnate: she made them all feel slightly uneasy.

Behind her, Kurapika closed the door to the floating white world outside and came to stand next to her. Valentyna's eyes narrowed as he did so.

"This is Akatsuki," he said, briefly, by way of introduction. "She is a geisha I met in Kyoto."

Kanzo, who was already being filled with many emotions as a result of this unearthly geisha, gasped out loud, "Akatsuki! You...from Kyoto..."

She gave the Ninja a cool, fire-drenching look. "Of course. The famous Akatsuki. And you're a Ninja from the Suzuka mountains, no?" Her gleaming gaze passed over the rest of the Spiders. "Hokkaido," at Shizuku, "Mittenwald," at Shalnark, "Gyudondondo," to Bolonolev, "Comanche," Coltopi, "Kukuru Mountain," to the Zoaldadyks, "Stockholm, Odesa" at Bergron and Valentyna.

Her gaze finally came to rest on the smiling magician in the corner. "Hell," she concluded.

Her analyses came home to shocked looks as the Spiders heard aloud what they had never uttered to any of the others. Hisoka merely chuckled at her evaluation.

Shalnark gave a nervous laugh. "Well, well, where did you and Tenno meet, anyway? A library?"

"Hajimemashite...Tsuki," Shizuku ventured, and the white-clad geisha met her mild eyes with steely anger as she took two threatening steps in her direction.

"Never, ever, shorten my name," she gritted out, while Shizuku stepped backwards into Shalnark with a wide, surprised expression. Then Akatsuki contained herself and gave the sarcastic laugh Kurapika had come to associate with her closing herself off.

"What a wide range of friends you have, Tenno," she said, mockingly, but her eyes told him she already knew.

He decided to announce it, after all. "This is the Genei Ryodan," he said emotionlessly.

They stood there for a moment, eyes glaring into each others', daring, threatening, mocking. Then she raised a hand and slapped across his face full force.

"To think," she gritted out, "that I came all the way from Kyoto, for a Spider." She whirled around, slipping into her geta as she did so, and stalked back out into the snowy storm.

After a stunned minute in which Kurapika touched his stinging cheek with a numb hand, he threw open the door and marched out after her.

"Akatsuki," he shouted at her, barely able to make out her form anymore against the white, "where the hell do you think you're going."

She afforded him a fire-lined look, matching his own, as she whirled around, her long sleeves spinning with her movement, ocean waves at the bottom dizzyingly swirling. "I hate you," she called out venomously, "I hate you more than anyone."

"I can explain."

"Never. No explanation I want to hear." She turned and continued walking, sleeves flapping in the wind like wings.

"Akatsuki..." but she was gone out of sight already. He stepped forward, but was met by a strong grip on his arm. He wheeled around with fire-red eyes. "Why do you stop me?" he hissed at Valentyna.

"That woman...you would let that woman into your life? That proud, arrogant woman?" Her voice, normally so gentle, raised into a shout. "You would forget? Do you really want to forget?"

"Shut up!"

"No! How can you forget? How can you force her out of your memory? Did she really mean so little to you?" Her voice became covered with a little sob. "She meant so much to me! Why are you forgetting? How could you!"

He gritted his teeth, the sound of metal rushing into existence as he materialized his Chain Jail. She stood there motionlessly as it hovered close, like a living serpent.

Then it dropped to the ground, falling heavily through the layer of snow. "No," he said, huskily choking on the word. "I can't forget. And that's why...I have to leave again..." He looked up at her. "Tell the rest of the Spiders, I'm going out for a few months. I will contact you or Shalnark when we're ready to reconvene."

Valentyna watched his back, hunched in pain, as it disappeared in whirling red and gold, into the snow.

"Where are you going?" she shouted at his retreating form.

His voice, hushed in the white void, answered back, "York Shin City."

.

"Exactly why did he leave so suddenly?" Shizuku asked, folding the blankets and placing them on the bed. Behind her, Shalnark sighed.

"Valentyna just said he had unfinished business in York Shin," he answered, dropping their luggage onto a couch and sitting down wearily.

"York Shin...the name sounds familiar...but I can't remember..."

"It's nothing," he answered, aware that once she forgot something, she would never remember.

Then please, Shizuku, never ever forget me, he thought.

"Ah, I see." She finished and sat down on the bed, facing him across the hotel room.

There was a little silence as they regarded each other. At last, Shalnark rose, stretched a little, and made for the door.

"Well, I'll see you in the morning," he said. Shizuku blinked. "You're staying in a different room?"

"Mm hm."

"But why? We've always roomed together before." Where he was, facing the door, he heard her softly padding footsteps, like a cat's, approach him and stop directly behind him.

He sighed a little as he turned around to face her. Why couldn't he explain to himself why it was that it made him so uneasy to spend the night in a room with her? There really wasn't any logic to it, and yet, now that he thought back to that moment in the kitchen in Norway...

Shizuku took a tentative step forward, breathing in his masculine smell as she raised her eyes to look directly into his. "Shal..."

Too close...much too close...if she got any closer...

He took a step away, and then, for no apparent reason, started to madly sprint across the room.

"Shal...Shalnark, WHAT are you doing?"

"Hm?" He looked up, one leg out the window, as if he couldn't quite tell how he'd gotten there.

She marched across the room in a very un-Shizuku way and placed her arms akimbo. "We are on the fortieth floor," she said, adding, "baka."

"Ah...right...ahahaha!" He stepped back inside, closing the window and edged around her.

She blocked his beeline to the door. "What in the world has gotten into you?"

You...so cute...there...with your glasses...such tight clothing...such enjoyable curves...NO, dammit, Shalnark, don't go there...must escape...must get out...

She grabbed his shoulders and pulled his solar plexus into her knee sharply. He bent over, wheezing, unaware that she was pushing him, toward the bed...

...no...bed...bad...too out of breath...to refuse...

She shoved him on the bed so that he lay supine, and stood there, arms folded, foot tapping. "I thought we decided this ages ago," she said. "You're the smart one, I'm the fighter. You're not getting out of here until you tell me what's going on."

He caught onto his breath, one arm clutching around his abused stomach, as he sat up.

Too late...giving in...

She gasped at his lightning fast move as he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her on top of him, back onto the bed. Then her face became very rosy.

"Shall I show you?" he whispered, and pulled her face into his.

The kiss was long, deep, and slow; it was, in essence, what every teenage girl dreams of for a first kiss, where the music swells, and the sunset bursts into color. Shizuku found herself drowning as all of the pent-up, strangely distributed emotions were released into that kiss. Everything made sense, very suddenly, in a strange sort of way.

He released her slowly, the hand on the back of her neck brushing against her cheek and down her jaw before dropping back onto the bed. His other was still flat-palmed against the small of her back.

"Does that answer your question?"

She swallowed before shaking her head vigorously. "It doesn't answer the question of why you'd want separate bedrooms at all," she said, and then lowered her lips until they wisped across his like the brush of an uncertain artist. "Unless you'd care to reiterate your argument."

.

Here it was again, the city of greed and lust and bloodshed.

He had come to root out the evil that had killed her, to take final vengeance against those responsible, to not even leave one left; but he had not stopped there, no, he had not stopped...

Kurapika regarded the katana blankly. Could it really be blood on that shining blade? Could it really be the blood of women, of little children?

As from a daze, he frowned, trying to recollect from his scattered memory the events from the last two months. Had he been that monster, the one with the deadly blade in his hand, destroying the families of the mafia? How had he justified that in his mind?

Grasping at the wind, he recalled excuses, lingering thoughts, of a beast: _They are tainted. Their blood mingles with the men who killed Senritsu. They are deserving of death. They must die. I must kill them with my own hands._

With a gasp, it was as if he awoke. He threw down the shining katana onto the forest floor and fell to his knees, shaking. No, he decided, that wasn't me, that wasn't me! I couldn't have done something like that. I'm not...not a murderer...

No, whispered the beast in his mind, no, you are Tenno. You are the executor of justice, the source of punishment. Those people deserved what you did to them.

"Wrong, wrong," he groaned, "no one deserves to die unless they have done the most heinous crimes. Those people...the wives and children of the mafia...they didn't deserve it...Damn!" he cursed himself. "How could you? What posessed you?"

He lifted sunken eyes to the blank new moon that hung, shrouded with red, in the evening sky. Still the monster inside of him was not content. Revenge was an insatiable palate, and even wiping out everyone who could have had the slightest part in Senritsu's death did nothing to assuage the ravenous desire for more bloodshed.

The poisoned nen of a merciless killer stirred, mixing itself with his own nen. Slowly but surely, he was turning into a monster, and he didn't realize it yet.

But Kuroro did, and was silent, even in the room before he drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

Let him understand first, and then let go.

.

How he managed to recover and go on was beyond him, but he found himself back in Kyoto, seeking relief once again in the onsen, where traces of poison had disappeared before.

If he sought Akatsuki, he did not do it knowingly. Yet he found his footsteps leading him into the house where he had first seen her dance. She was not the dancer that night; instead, a young maiko in a familiar pink and yellow furisode danced, very prettily, not in the slightest hauntingly, and, when she descended to speak to the patrons, it was with sweet laughter and gracious words.

Her eyes met Kurapika's, in the back, and lit up. She excused herself from the smiles of the men she was currently with and made her way over to him.

As if paralyzed, he wanted to get up and leave, but found he could not.

With a wide smile, Setsuko knelt down next to him and asked, cheerfully as ever, "Kurapika! It's been awhile, how are you doing?"

Do you want the truth? That inside I'm dying and outside I'm a monster?

Not being Japanese, he missed the inherent inflection of her asking such a question. She was worried; she read the lines in his eyes, and saw that there was massive pain there.

He nodded at her and said, "I'm fine. How about yourself?" She gave him an expression as if she wanted to question his answer, but decided not to pry.

"Oh, it's the same as always, music and dancing and conversation. In a few months, I'm to become a full geisha." She gave a full, sweet laugh. Where had he heard a laugh like that before? "I'm not sure if I'm ready, but I'll do my best!"

He gave her a very small smile, wondering to himself if Akatsuki had been this willing and naive when she was a maiko, or if she had always been as she was. Somehow, the role of geisha didn't seem to suit Setsuko; no, she was too happy, too caring to really enter that world of polite laughter and witty conversation.

"You danced well tonight," he said, somewhat tonelessly. Setsuko beamed at the compliment, no matter how listlessly it had been delivered.

"My dancing is all right," she told him, "but I'm said to be at my best at the koto. Ah, not that I should say it!" She embarrassedly smiled and touched the back of her head before remembering that wasn't a very geisha-like thing to do and dropped her hand. "The music in Japan isn't really what you're used to, though, is it? I've noticed from your expression."

His expression? He was virtually expressionless. How in the world could she had seen through that?

"I have to admit," she said conspiratorially, leaning in to whisper, "I've always preferred Western music myself. I started on the piano with Bach, of course, but my parents thought I'd be better off training to be a geisha, so..."

Her words suddenly began blurring out of recognition, becoming hazy background noise as a dark figure appeared in the shadows. Though he could not see her face, he recognized her commanding presence and started up, transfixed, mouth slightly opening. Barely hearing Setsuko's "Ah! Akatsuki-sama!" behind him, he began to walk, and then to run, toward that retreating figure.

"Akatsuki!" He exclaimed as he followed the figure slipping around corners when he had followed her outside. "Wait, please!"

Her face came into light as he caught up to her under a paper-lantern lit patio, in the yard of the geisha-house. She stared up at him, trembling, as he caught her arm and refused to let go.

"You...you..." Her expression turned ugly and she tried to wrench free. "You're a Spider," she hissed.

"Yes. I'm a Spider," he said point-blank and pulled her even closer. She began clawing at his chest. "You deceived me...you all...are demons!"

Something in her expression lit a lightbulb in his brain. And he was supposed to be intelligent.

He let go of her and backed away. "Your family...they were killed by the Genei Ryodan, weren't they."

Instead of running away, his statement caused her to stand shock-still. "Yes; that's why I had to become a geisha in the first place...Why...shouldn't you know?"

He sighed heavily and sat down on the patio. "Mine was also killed by the Genei Ryodan, ten years ago. My entire tribe was. I thought you knew that; I am a Kuruta, after all."

She hesitantly took a step forward, toward him, then another. "I know of...the Scarlet Eyes, of course; they are a treasure. Your entire...tribe? All of the Kurutas, killed off? By the Genei Ryodan?"

He nodded, still not meeting her gaze. She dazedly came even more forward, trying to see into his eyes. "But why...would you join...?"

"I killed the leader and those responsible for my tribe's death, and now I am rebuilding them in order to take vengeance on those who create grief and tyranny in this world," he intoned, but not even he believed himself any more. "So now you understand." He got up and began walking briskly away, deaf to her cries of "Wait!" behind him.

She struggled to catch up to him in her long, constricting kimono, but after all, geisha are not meant to run. With a small cry, she stumbled forward. He whirled and caught her before she could hit the ground, and pulled her up. Before he could turn to go, she grabbed onto his red and gold jacket and clung to him.

"Don't leave," she whispered. "Don't...I'll come...wherever you go, just...take me with you, out of this prison..." Her words ended with a little sob. "We both understand...what it means to bar emotion, we both understand pain, I can't bear to go back to that world of unending smiles."

He lifted her chin with his hand so that her wet cherry-wood colored eyes met his flaming ones. Wordlessly, he pulled her waist against him and crushed her lips violently with his.

**Author's Notes: **I hope this explains a little more of why Kurapika is becoming so...evil...and all that. Anyway, here's the ORC (obligatory romantic chapter); two kisses in one chapter, I hope I didn't overdo on the gushiness and all...but of course the Kurapika/Akatsuki kiss is very different from the Shalnark/Shizuku kiss, no?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

**Music Suggestion: **Time by Pink Floyd

Kuroro.

What?

What's happening to my body?

Well, you see, Kuruta, when girls become teenagers, their bodies start to alter in order to prepare for bearing children...

Shut up, or I'll pummel you into the non-existent floor.

*sigh* What are you talking about?

You know exactly what I'm talking about. Why does my body feel like it's being poisoned everytime I wake up? Why can't I control my actions the way I used to? This isn't me, this feels like something is invading me...

...

Answer me.

No.

Why not.

I don't feel like it.

That's a horrible excuse.

Deal with it.

No. I want answers.

(mimicking) I want an Oompa Loompa, and I want one NOOOOW.

Kuroro, I swear...

Kuruta, you'll just have to deal with it. What did you expect, after all, killing the Danchou of the Spiders? That I'm just going to leave you alone, all hunky dory, that there won't be physical consequences? That's not the way nen works, and you know it.

People are dying. At my hands.

Yeah...so did I, if you will recall. So did more than half of my Spiders.

...Are you saying this is retribution?

It comes to us all. Even me.

I won't accept it.

(I can't accept...losing another comrade...not again...)

There's the respect

That makes calamity of so long life.

...What?

You're intelligent, Kuruta. Figure it out.

Are you insinuating that it's better to die than continue to live in fear of killing another?

Oh, very good.

...

...I am not the Prince of Denmark.

.

April is the cruellest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.

It was April, and Egypt was already sticky hot, sandy domes of free dunes shifting miles grain by grain as the sirocco winds whipped across them harshly.

The Spiders had arrived in Cairo, staying in an old abandoned ballistics warehouse (which already seemed very out-of-place for the sleek Tenno, but there was no other choice).

Bergron, offspring of the cold northern seas that he was, found himself already bitterly annoyed at the desert setting, and wondered if Tenno had chosen their current location purely to test him. He had been accepted wordlessly into the Genei Ryodan, purely by dint of his having rescued Tenno and being cooped up with the rest for that week, and gradually he was starting to open up to the rest of the Spiders, Kanzo in particular.

When Tenno arrived, there was no mistaking the haggardness in his eyes. Nor the distinctive presence of the ex-geisha behind him.

Valentyna, still overwhelmingly uncomfortable with the beautiful woman, and discontent that Kurapika should choose this sort of woman after the docile musician of earlier days, found herself inspecting said ex-geisha.

Akatsuki had opted to discard her original kimono, and instead she wore an outfit which, according to Coltopi and Bolonolev, reminded them distinctly of the deceased Spider named Machi. She wore a shorter, kimono-style top, white with a red obi, as the original, and although the sleeves were still somewhat long, they were not as heavy. She wore red tights to her knees, and maintained her geta sandals, although these were flat-soled and certainly more suitable for action. Her hair was pulled up into a long, straight ponytail high on her head.

Kurapika did not even bother reintroducing her, and she made no effort to get to know the others, other than to occasionally throw dark looks in Shizuku's direction, who did not attempt to nickname her again. Why was it that she held her manner around her as an icy wall? What was there to guard against? Apart from the fact that she was in a nest of Spiders, that is.

As always directly to the point, Kurapika turned to face the others with "business" written on his face.

"Tomorrow we will be taking an airship to the center of the Congo," he said. "There is a particular organization called the EEE located underground which is controlling through manipulative means the governments of the continent of Africa, collaborating in the unfortunate economic situation of most of the poorer countries for selfish profit.

"The entrance to the underground base is only through a place on the bank of the Zaire, but since we have Bergron, it should be fairly simple. Our task is to enter, eliminate the organization through any means necessary, and get out."

"Doesn't sound terribly difficult," said Illumi, calmly surveying his pins.

That's what worries me, Bergron thought. Lack of threat is always a bad sign.

He sighed a tiny bit. "Tenno, what do you want me to do?"

"It's simple, really. We can't take a submersible down there; it will trigger the base's electrical system. It's also too far to dive, since the tunnel to the base is entirely underwater for about half a mile. Therefore, we need you to provide an air bubble for a group to go in and take out the base."

"Sharp rocks at the bottom?"

"Most likely."

"Bring it on."

"Good. How many people can you provide for?"

"At most, six, but to be safe, four, besides my self."

"That should be fine. For this mission, we will use myself, Hisoka, Shizuku, and Kanzo. The rest of you need to be on the lookout: Coltopi, Bolonolev, and Kalluto; and Shalnark, I want you, Illumi and Valentyna to take out all communications which will be hidden in the jungle. Make sure you work silently so that whoever's on top won't have a chance to set off the alarm."

"What about me?" Akatsuki's voice came in, miffed that she'd been left out, though she knew she had no fighting abilities whatsoever.

"You stay hidden," he said curtly. "The only person you can't heal is yourself; you've told me that already. We can't lose you."

"It's not like you can command me to heal at your will," she said smoothly. "If I feel like it, I will."

He ignored her reply, not having the energy to get into another word-game. "However, I'm leaving the katana with you."

"Not like it's yours to begin with," she muttered under her breath.

.

The jungle was a dark place at night; so much the better for Shalnark's team, above, as they easily destroyed any communications abilities up top. They had a glimpse of the towering multitude of trees, of the immense matted junble, with the blazing little ball of the sun hanging over it; the earth seemed unearthly.

"Ready?" asked Bergron, and the five of them descended into the dark waters, nothing but a nen shell separating them from whatever was in the river.

Quietly, very quietly they entered through the shaggy hole in the side of the bank, moving step by step in their slow tread through the tunnel.

And then there was a glowing, silver-threaded light glinting through a hole above, and they knew they had reached the base. "Hisoka," whispered Kurapika as quietly as possible, "how long will it take you to take out the front guard?"

"Depending on how many people, .5 to 4 seconds."

He closed his eyes. "It's long enough. Bergron, release the nen bubble as soon as Hisoka breaks the surface."

.5 seconds, Hisoka had said. In reality, it took only .35 seconds, not that anyone was timing, but the others had just barely gotten wet when they emerged at the top. Hisoka already stood there, a card in his hand while he stood on one foot, grinning his creepy smile that always followed bloodshed.

"All done up here, Tenno." Around him lay five men, hands still on pistols, cards embedded in foreheads.

"All right. Everyone, let's go."

They had barely taken two steps forward when a voice came out of a shadowy corner, "You will go no further. You will die here."

They all froze. Out of the corner of his eye, Kurapika saw a figure emerge, large, firm black muscles, short-cropped dark, curly hair, chiseled, handsome features, and a long spear. He was dressed in a brown, traditional African outfit, curved V-neck drawing a line down his chest of white diamond patterns. He stood there, passing the carved spear lightly from one hand to another.

"Bergron," Kurapika said, turning, "can you form water into a spear to take him out quickly?" No response, not even a blink. Bergron stood where he had first heard the voice.

He whipped his gaze around to the right, where Shizuku stood, also frozen into position. Her eyes weren't looking at the approaching black man; he followed her gaze to look at a time piece set on one of the military desks of the outpost. The hands weren't moving; not even the second hand. The entire scene flickered for less than a second, each of the Genei Ryodan members having time to take about two steps forward before being frozen again.

He grimaced and looked at the man, who was looking back at him in astonishment. "So you're a time-manipulator," he said.

The man answered in a voice that was low and deep, purest tone as of a cello. "I prefer to think of myself as a Time Lord, actually. My only question is: How?" Then he shrugged as he raised his spear. "It doesn't matter," he said, "goodbye."

Kurapika dodged to the right as the long end of the spear passed by his head. At the same time, he flung his Dowsing Chain at the man, aiming for his head, to knock him out. The other man, with the flexiblity and speed of a smaller, more agile person, evaded it and rolled across the room, retrieving his spear. Again the scene flickered.

"What I still don't understand," he said, advancing and jabbing from close distance at the Kuruta, "is how you escaped my time trap."

Kurapika closed the distance by jumping onto the spear shaft and placing a Reinforcement-enhanced kick on the other man's torso. He heard ribs break under the contact, but the other man gave little sign of pain. "It's simple, really," he said, leaping to the side.

"Then enlighten me." Without waiting for a reply, the man threw a powerful punch at him, which forced him to leap backwards, at a bad range for him and a good range for the other's spear.

The spear came flying, and this time he flung his chain around the shaft as it came near him, yanking the chain so that it brought the spear straight back to him. Clutching it in his left hand, he leaped forward and slammed the other man into the wall, pointing the end of the spear at his throat.

"I am the Emperor of Time," Tenno said.

Instantly, the time-barrier broke completely, and the rest of his members gaped in astonishment to find their Tenno pinning the other man effectively against the wall. "What...happened?" Shizuku asked, blinking.

The other man put his hands up and looked Kurapika straight in the eye. "Let me join you."

This time it was the Kuruta who was confused. "What did you say?"

"Let me join your group. This is the Genei Ryodan, am I correct? I offer you my skills, the skills of the Time-Manipulator Demisse, and my allegiance."

Kurapika's lips tightened as he pressed the spear-end closer. "What makes you think I can trust you? Even if I can fight fairly against you, you could easily ambush the others." Then he loosened his grip and stepped back. Without warning, a flicker of chain ran through the air and pierced the other man in the chest. "This is the Judgment Chain," he said, steadily. "If you disobey my command, the sword will pierce your heart and you will die. My command is this: Never attack any of the Spiders. Am I clear?"

"Yes."

"Good." He turned back to the others. "Let's finish the job."

It didn't take much longer after that. The ace had been placed on the top of the deck, after all. They emerged a scant hour later, to find the rest of the Spiders waiting near the entrance. Shalnark and Coltopi both started a bit when the dark form of Demisse following; Shalnark's first reaction was to get between him and Shizuku.

"It's all right," Kurapika said, "I have his word that he will not harm anyone. This is Demisse, and he is the final member of the Genei Ryodan. Where is Akatsuki?"

"Waiting at the 'base'," Coltopi told him.

"Good. Let's go."

"Shizuku, are you all right?" Shalnark murmured into her ear as the Spiders began walking back towards the military jeeps they'd stolen to get there.

She flashed him a smile, even though it was so dark that he could catch hardly anything but the glint of pale, spotty moonlight through the forest canopy above. "Don't worry about me, Shalnark. As long as you're here for me, I'll be fine."

.

"You are back."

"We have returned." Kurapika passed by Akatsuki with a scant glance and sat down on a couch in the living room of the abandoned Western-style plantation mansion they were using for this short mission. The place felt vaguely mistrustful of its lush surroundings, as though it disapproved of the free variety of life that the land around the Zaire enjoyed.

Akatsuki herself felt extremely out of place, being used to the conventions of man-made paradises that she had spent the majority of her adult life in. Yet, hadn't it been Tenno's distinctly dangerous presence that had attracted her to coming with him in the first place?

Akatsuki was one who had always looked out the bars of her cage at the freer, and more dangerous, world beyond. Sudden freedom always brings about a dizzying change of convictions as everything is viewed from the closer angle.

And Tenno? She was astonished at how stone-cool he was in front of the Genei Ryodan. Despite the games of cold water they had dashed on each other, there had been a sense of openness, the knowledge that one of them had to lose the game in the end. But now there was a wall of ice that permeated his being, impossible to melt.

Her eyes shifted from Tenno's distant form when she heard painful, suppressed coughing coming from the entrance. She knew instantly that the young Ethiopian man entering with the rest of the Spiders was suffering from multiple broken ribs and looked to Tenno for confirmation.  
When their eyes met, he only stated curtly, "Akatsuki, this is the final, new member, Demisse. He decided to join our forces after I injured him in our fight. Do you 'feel' like healing today?"

She ran her eyes up the chiseled body of the new Spider; when his deep brown eyes met hers, and he gave her a white smile, she felt a chill as of a long-nailed finger draw itself up her spine, but it was not unpleasant, though unfamiliar.

She stood and faced the man. "Come with me," she said.

Kurapika's eyes glinted ever so slightly as Demisse followed her into a different room, suddenly regretting his request of her.

.

"Why doesn't Akatsuki like you?" Shalnark asked, turning to Shizuku on the love-seat they were sharing and absentmindedly placing a hand on her leg.

Tenno already having gone to his lone room, and the others drifting off one by one, it was just the two of them, Coltopi, Hisoka, and Begron, lowly playing haunting tones on his flute (and keeping one eye on the door to Tenno's room).

Shizuku sighed as though it was a topic she did not particularly cherish, and said in low tones, "It's because I'm Ainu."

"Ainu?" Shalnark blinked, already knowing the term but not understanding the implications.

Shizuku nodded. "To a few Japanese, particularly those from a more traditional perspective, the Ainu are barbaric. To be honest," she gave a hollow laugh, "although I was born in Hokkaido, and I believe both of my parents were pure Ainu, I grew up on the mainland of Honshu anyway. I've never received any persecution before, but then, I've never talked to a geisha from Kyoto, either." She dropped dejected eyes to the floor, not even regarding the book she had forgotten in her lap.

Shalnark thought for approximately five seconds before saying frankly, "That's just silly. Let her glower; it's not going to change our opinion of you." In his corner, Coltopi gave a little laugh, and Bergron even lifted his head to smile at her.

She lifted her eyes to him and smiled shyly. "Thank you."

Though the footfalls were nearly inaudible, they all looked up as Kalluto came into the room. "What news?" asked Shalnark with a grin. Kalluto returned his gaze with a look of mixed curiosity and apprehension.

"I passed by Tenno's room," he said, and gave a slight shudder, passing to the white-paned window and gazing out at the dark, dark jungle outside.

"You should have heard him," he continued. "You should have heard him say, 'My Spiders, my nen, my Intended."

**Author's Notes: **Okay, before I start getting indignant reviews, obviously the Japanese do not hate the Ainu. I'm not even saying that the higher society does, either. There is a little tension there in the past, but that's all I'm going to say about that. So please do not send me little "you're saying they're racist!" comments.

Oh, and little shameless plug: Please read the little one-shot romance I wrote recently! It's under "M"...for various reasons. I guarantee a more likeable Kura. If you don't mind Leorio being in the picture, that is =)


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

**Music Suggestions: **Drink the Night Away and Johnny Tarr by Gaelic Storm

God, he was tired of the man. Why couldn't he just really die already and leave him in peace?

Kuroro was taking the opportunity of Kurapika's stony silence against him to send random mocking comments in his direction.

"If you continue to scowl like that, one day it'll stick," he noted.

His target only deepened his scowl in reply and glared threats.

He subsided for a minute, and then continued, "So, the Spiders are again complete. Of course, if you hadn't decimated us to begin with, you wouldn't have had to go through all the trouble."

"If I hadn't decimated you," the other ground out, "I wouldn't have reinvented such a detestable group to begin with."

"Come now, I feel like a little earthworm when you say that. Reduce me to an amoeba, Kuruta, you can do better than that."

"You don't even deserve better than that," Kurapika said coolly. Kuroro gave a little bark of laughter.

"Yeah, that's better. Learn from the best, I say..."

"'Learn'?" Kurapika's voice rose half an octave as he shot the other man a nasty look.

"Yup. After all, you're the new leader of my group, so it's best that you take from my cues. If you're not careful, someone might steal her away...oopsie, I mean, them away."

"They are mine," Kurpapika gritted out behind clenched teeth, "my Spiders, my nen, my Intended."

"The horror! The horror!" Kuroro added, illiciting a response at last as Kurapika rose to his feet and started menacingly towards him.

"Why do you have to mock me."

"Why do you ask," said Kuroro, intentionally making fun of Kurapika's persistent lack of question marks. "Truthfully, Kuruta, it's because you're just so damnably fun to mock."

"Then I won't give you the pleasure," he said haughtily, once more retreating and giving Kuroro a full view of his back.

"Come now, aren't you even getting slightly used to it?" Kuroro said, playing around with his newly-discovered dynamics of the room as he hung from invisible monkey-bars so that his upside-down face appeared directly in front of Kurapika's.

"Why don't you just die, for good," the blond said, finally putting his thoughts into words. Kuroro waggled his head back and forth, causing the drooping blue balls from his ears to jiggle in the reverse position.

"And makes us rather bear those ills we have/ Than fly to others that we know not of," he quoted. "Better this infernal pergatory than whatever emptiness, flames of torment, lack of existence, whatever follows. I'd prefer not to find out, anyway."

"What do you really believe about the afterlife?"

"I don't believe in one."

"Then where did your other Spiders go after they stopped their nen from pursuing me?"

"I don't know."

"Don't you care?"

"I don't know."

Kurapika was quiet for a minute, before saying, "Your nen is poisoning me."

"And why should I care?"

Kurapika lifted his sulky eyes to him for a minute. "How would you feel if I killed one of your comrades because I couldn't control these animalistic murder-sprees?"

Kuroro shrugged. "A Spider doesn't fear death."

"What do you fear?"

He considered for a minute and then smirked. "A chain."

.

"Kurapika."

"Leorio."

"I've been waiting."

He smiled as he walked towards his tall brunette friend. Was it just him, or had Leorio's arms gotten bulkier recently?

Mm...Kurapika shivered in delight as he came within a foot of his friend.

"Are you cold?" Leorio asked, putting an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. Kurapika snuggled into his warmth, head tucked under his chin.

"I've missed you."

"Mm."

"Leorio?"

"Mm?"

He took a deep breath as he pulled back from the embrace, heart fluttering wildly, trying to find the right words. "You see, I...erhm..."

Leorio gave him a questioning look as he lifted Kurapika's chin with his hand. "What is it?"

Kurapika found words useless, so he merely unbuttoned the front of his shirt, slowly, watching Leorio's eyes widen at the revelation.

"I'm...actually...a girl..."

"Ack!" Kurapika's eyes bolted open and he lay there for a few minutes, gasping for breath, every cell in his body deeply accusing the unconscious wanderings of his mind.

"What...a horrible...nightmare..." He groaned and smacked his face with both hands, because a single face-palm wasn't enough.

He had that distinct, sluggish feeling of having overslept as he sat up on the bed, blinking. The room was still dark, as though dawn's shy smile hadn't yet spread across the sky. Yet, it was definitely later in the day.

He got up and walked over to the window, brushing the heavy curtains aside. On the other side of the reflectent glass, he could see what appeared to be a pure sheet of water slapping mercilessly from the sky to the ground.

He grimaced a little as he let the curtains fall back and got dressed. He'd been hoping to leave this afternoon, but that no longer seemed like an option. The helicopters they'd stolen to take in to the jungle of Congo wouldn't fly well in this weather, and besides, nothing is worse than soggy travel.

He emerged from his bedroom, getting the distinct feeling that those Spiders already awake out in the main room tensed up considerably as he did so.

He was Tenno, after all. Without fear, this leader-subordinate position would never work, even without taking into consideration their bloody past. So he let them continue to follow his actions with apprehension, not daring to let up, even in the slightest, to show any bit of human emotion.

He ignored them and went into the kitchen, which was always the first thing he did in the mornings, unable to focus until he'd eaten something. Damn low blood-sugar...not a redeeming characteristic for a chain-assassin.

By the time he'd eaten and started a pot of coffee, everyone else had woken up and congregated out in the living room. He passed his gaze across Akatsuki and over to Demisse, on the opposite side of the room. He had the slight feeling she was testing him, as if annoyed at his persistent ignoring of her since they had rejoined the Spiders.

Let her play. I will win this time.

He met Shalnark's gaze. "Do you have any idea how long this will keep up?" he asked tonelessly, regarding the weather. Shalnark sighed, reconsulting his cell phone.

"It's supposed to be like this for three days, but who knows..."

Useless, really, Tenno of the Spiders, having his plans ruined by a little rain. In the end, he was only mortal, after all. Akatsuki had won that one.

To his surprise, none of the others seemed to be let down much. Bolonolev, Coltopi, and Valentyna were already sitting on the floor together, teaching Kanzo how to play "Liar" with a deck of cards. Hisoka, with his own cards, was doing little tricks over in the corner. Shizuku had curled up with a book next to Shalnark on a love-seat, and Bergron was looking out the window at the rain with a little gleam in his eyes.

Illumi and Kalluto disappeared into a different bedroom, Kurapika's eyes following them as they did so. He really knew little of the Zoaldadyks, despite his previous friendship with Killua; however, he was aware that there was a fifth brother, one who had disappeared a long time ago, and that they were searching for him. Yet why did they always plan with whispers behind backs of hands? It made him uneasy, especially when Illumi pinned his empty black gaze on him as he would throw his deadly pins at an opponent.

Kurapika's glance drifted to a small bookcase in the corner, laden with paperbacks and hardbacks. He selected one at random and drifted off to a corner, where he sat and half-read, half-watched the rest.

"I win," announced Coltopi, laying down the final card, and Kanzo groaned at his defeat.

"That's okay," noted Bolonolev. "Shalnark's been playing it for years, and he still loses everytime we play."

Shalnark made a face at them from across the room. "That's because Shizuku cheats."

"Do not," she answered, not looking up. "I don't remember having ever cheated in my life."

This comment elicited a series of light coughs behind hands from all the former Spiders, Hisoka included.

"Exactly how long have you guys been playing this game?" Kanzo asked, the loser, as he gathered up the cards and began shuffling them. Coltopi looked over at Bolonolev.

"Er, I guess we picked it up in York Shin City, just before..."

His eye caught Kurapika's across the room, and he subsided into silence, remembering who it had been who had killed Ubo in the first place.

"Oi, Bergron, how long are you going to stare out that window?" Kanzo raised his voice a little in the other man's direction.

"Mm?" Bergron looked up, a slightly startled look on his face.

"Yeah, what exactly are you thinking about?" Bolonolev added, uncharacteristically informal in his address.

Bergron shrugged. "If you must know, I was considering the force of the rain and how I could create a chain of reactions by..."

He also stopped momentarily, feeling the weight of Kurapika's black eyes on him. After a moment, he continued, quietly, "I was considering what combination of weapons I could form from the water and how I could use them strategetically," he finished, a little lamely.

Valentyna raised her eyebrows. "So you can form water into any shape you want?"

"Well, not exactly. I'm limited to short range weapons, actually; knives, swords, that sort of thing." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why do you want to know, anyway?"

She laughed lightheartedly, leaning back against the wall in a carefree manner. "I was just wondering, really. Lighten up a little, Bergron. Even if we wanted to attack you right now, all you'd have to do is step outside to be at the advantage, right?"

His shoulders relaxed slightly at her words and he awarded her with a small grin. "I guess you're right."

There was another laugh, deeper, laced with jolity, and Kurapika's eyes swiveled over to Demisse's direction. "She's right," he said, smiling that disarming smile of his as he got up from where he leaned against a doorframe, and walked over to Bergron, clapping him on the shoulder. "What's life without laughter, or singing? In my tribe, before I joined the EEE, someone who didn't know how to smile was considered someone who couldn't live. Looking over at your leader here, I'd say he needs to be taught to live, huh?" He winked at Kurapika, completely taken aback by the other man's completely carefree teasing manner at him.

"Suit yourself," he said coldly, returning to his book.

The sound of confident strides, and then, right next to him, a beautiful, bass humming in his ear. He looked up in annoyance at Demisse, who, still widely grinning, was singing softly in front of him.

"Nnn...mhmm...mm nnhmm..."

"Shut up."

The other man merely laughed and raised his voice into a tenor range. Over in her corner, Akatsuki looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"I said be quiet."

"Nope. You start to sing with me. Mmhmm...nnn..."

"Oh, have it your way," he snarled, and stood up abruptly, seeking refuge in his bedroom.

.

As they watched Tenno leave, Demisse chuckled heartily, and even Bergron cracked a grin. "Really, Tenno, whatever you call him, he's just too uptight. He could do with a little more laughter."

"Actually, it would be better if you didn't egg him on," commented Shizuku from her corner with Shalnark, who also spoke up.

"It's true," he admitted. "Actually, the fact that he didn't try to kill you on the spot is rather surprising."

Valentyna said nothing, but thought to herself that if any of them had a clue as to what the last two years had done to him, they wouldn't be surprised at the fact that he couldn't even really smile anymore. Nevertheless, there had been a time...

She missed the Kurapika of her memory.

"Well, in any case, it's no reason why the rest of us can't liven up a bit," Demisse said, casting his friendly gaze over the rest of them, and at a certain person in red-and-white in particular. "Come on, Bergron, I can sense a musical instrument within a mile. Take out that flute of yours, and lets have a tune, eh?"

Bergron hesitated with a look at the door behind which Tenno had disappeared before pulling out the wooden flute and putting it to his lips.

"Meanwhile the rural dieties were not mute

Temper'd to the oaten flute

Rough satyrs danced, and fawns with cloven heel

From the glad sound were not absent long."

The tune was lively and dancelike, and Demisse started to dance where he stood, undulating movements starting from his knees and working like a wave up to his bobbing head.

The mood of the room considerably lightened as Shizuku, with a light laugh, tossed down her book and pulled Shalnark up to his feet, where they began what appeared to be an Irish hornpipe.

Kanzo moved his shoulders slightly in rhythm where he sat, while Bolonolev started to remove his wrapping (Coltopi giving him a wary gaze). Valentyna sat with a grin on her face. Eventually, she herself rose and trotted over to Hisoka, hoisting him by the arm and forcing him to move, too. This was really too much for the rest of the group; to see the magician being manhandled by the Ukrainian wrestler made them all break out into laughter.

Demisse caught the eye of Akatsuki and worked his way over to her corner. "Come on, join us," he said. She raised her eyebrows at him coolly.

"Don't be ridiculous. The gods don't dance with mortals."

To her surprise, she was met with a hearty chortle, and the next thing she knew, her diminuative form was being hoisted onto Demisse's shoulders and wheeled around in circles. "They do now!" he exclaimed, while, her entire wardrobe of dignity suddenly having been stripped from her, she beat on his back with her fists and began shrieking, "Put me down! Put me down right now!"

"Not a chance, you need to get off your high horse for once and stop being such a spoiled child," he told her.

Come, ho, and wake Diana with a hymn!

With sweetest touches pierce your mistress' ear

And draw her home with music.

Akatsuki was stunned for a moment, and then, dizziness overtaking what was left of her senses, she did the unthinkable.

She giggled.

.

In his room, Kurapika started up at the sound.

Akatsuki...there was no way such a sound...one which he had never been able to elicit...

The sound of the flute had been torture enough, but he had ignored it, choosing instead to brood in silence, leaving the withered remains of memory to wash into the gutters of his mind like the last dead leaves of autumn on a streetside.

There was laughter from that room, the laughter of careful thoughts being thrown aside in favor of free moments. There was the sound of merry footfalls as each Spider took to their own particular mode of dance. An unearthly sound emitted as Bolonolev began an innocuous dance of his own, letting harmonies swirl with the melody of the flute.

How could they be so happy? How could they let themselves go like that, when there was so much pain, so much torment, which they themselves had caused. It wasn't right. It wasn't just.

He had clenched his hands as he heard the sounds of their enjoyment, letting his nails dig into the palms of his hands until they left angry red cresent moons.

And then she had let out that sound.

It wasn't the Akatsuki he knew. Not the high-browed, prideful woman of scornful eyes and elusive gestures. He felt the anger of rebellion paw into his stomach as she let escape an emotion she'd never shown him.

How could she? She was supposed to understand; she was supposed to know what it was like, this hell of torment, and yet, among other people, his past enemies and current fear-driven comrades, she was allowing a moment of enjoyment.

He rebelled. He smouldered. He was jealous, and he couldn't help it.

Then it stopped. The laughter, the dancing and music subsided as there was a bang that was the front door imploding, and sounds of gunfire, metal clashing, and fast footsteps and banging open of the door.

"Tenno."

Shalnark's voice, uttered in the brisk, serious tone that it was, stayed Kurapika's hand from decking him where he stood for disobeying the rules of his cloister.

"What."

"We're under attack."

**Author's Notes: **Yup, more OCD madness. It's a little like throwing yeast into a lump of dough, in my opinion; Demisse is that sort of person.

About the dream sequence...ah, I really have too much fun at the expense of our blond-haired (anti) hero. The girl jokes just never end. This was an afterthought, actually; it kinda hit me, and then I sat there for a moment, "Should I? Shouldn't I? Too late, I did!"


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

**Music Suggestion: **J'y Suis Jamais Alle, La Noyee, Comptine D' un Autre Ete and Sur le Fil from the Amelie Soundtrack by Yann Tiersen

"What?" Kurapika stood quickly, and followed Shalnark out of the room. Around the corner, Illumi and Kalluto appeared on the steps of Kanzo, and they burst out into the living room.

It was a swirl of chaos, as most battles, miniature, nen enhanced, or not, are; Kurapika found himself somewhat surprised at the way the "enemy" was holding up against the Genei Ryodan. So much so, that for a moment he only stood there, accessing the situation.

There appeared to be no fewer than thirty, and they appeared to be natives, but well-educated, hi-tech natives. In fact, there were some nen users among them; none as powerful as any of the Spiders, of course, but still a light challenge none-the-less, particularly since the Spiders were not used to being on the defensive. He had learned that lesson five years ago. Rules for winning against the Spiders: 1) attack first after 2) already knowing you can win, with a special weapon created specifically for fighting them with 3) a good, healthy dose of hatred and vengeance...

"Tenno!" Shalnark's urgent voice brought the Kuruta's idle mind back to the scene. He himself was already in the act of sticking a pin into one of the heavier fighters, then diving off in a corner behind Shizuku to manipulate the man into destroying his fellow comrades.

He materialized his Dowsing Chain and slid the katana from where he wore it at his belt. He hadn't yet had an opportunity to test this, but...

The katana burst into a glinting dance of death as he swung it around him at a three meter radius, from the end of of the chain. It was far more effective than just the chain, much more lethal. In seconds, he had killed or mortally wounded five enemies, and the rest were beginning to back away. From him at least.

Why did it seem like there were more enemies now than when they had started?

There are too many of them to fit in here all at once, he realized, so they keep flooding in.

Slicing off the head of yet another man where he stood, he frowned. How many more are there?

Watching Valentyna place a protective guard around Bolonolev while he danced in lethal beauty, Illumi and Hisoka throwing deadly darts from two corners, and Kalluto creating razor-sharp paper daggers which Coltopi duplicated behind him as they flew, he realized there were four people missing: Bergron, Kanzo, Demisse and Akatsuki.

Kanzo was easy to explain. No doubt he was hidden somewhere, throwing stars while going unnoticed at the same time. Through the window, Kurapika noticed that the rain was swirling in one area, a deadly mass of water-created blades, and deduced that the Swed was taking initiative to take care of the remaining enemies outside.

That left the remaining two...

He gritted his teeth and took out his annoyance on the enemies around him. Damn him...where were they? How long had they been gone? Before the battle? After it had begun?

He admitted the word jealousy into his vocabulary.

.

You must not phone, because at the most important time, it won't work.

Shalnark stared at the phone in his hands as his thumb mechanically did its deadly work on the keypad. What exactly had Kuroro been referring to in that prophecy, anyway? Or did it even matter any more...

As his "toy" was sliced apart by his own comrades, who had finally figured out what was going on, he sighed and pulled out another antennae. "Shizuku, cover for me." She nodded, as he zipped out, using super-human maneuvering to avoid the others' attacks, and found his next target; a smaller man with a flame thrower.

This place is going to be a mess by the time we're done, he thought, a little annoyed that they'd have to camp out in the rain until they could get out. Or perhaps they'd have to run the helicopters in the rain, after all...not a happy thought.

Either way, it was bound not to end happily.

He ducked back behind Shizuku, utilizing his new target while attempting to create as little damage as possible. In front, Shizuku was not only taking out foes with Deme-chan, but also sucking up the corpses around to create more fighting room for the others. She was resourceful. It was especially necessary around Tenno, who was creating a wide berth around him with that flickering katana and thus destroying at least twice as many as the rest of them combined.

Nobunaga would have had fun with this, Shalnark suddenly thought, memory triggered by the metal swinging around in its extended range. Nobu would have gone out swinging full force, grin on his face as he carved the enemies around him like Thanksgiving turkeys, taking pleasure in every artful stroke, a bloody sort of reverse sculpture. Among them all, he (after Ubo had died) was the best suited for direct combat with multiple enemies. Franklin had been good, too, but because he was limited at defensive, he always had to do his work from a distance. Nobu got down and cold with his enemies, watching the expressions in their eyes die as they fell right in front of him.

Shalnark gave a sort of smile as he shook his head. The enemies around were starting to diminish; Bergron outside was finishing off the extraneous enemies, and the ones inside were beginning to realize they would not be exiting.

He ran the flame-thrower outside, to die, in the rain, and got up from the cramped crouched position he had been holding. Shizuku, though the others were still fighting the last few, started to clean up around the room. He watched her slender, yet voluptuous figure, through the pockets of rain that were entering through the battered ceiling of the spreading estate.

Valentyna let down her shield at last and began blasting the last few enemies around her and Bolonolev with her emission skills, so that they crashed through the already destroyed walls and met the whirlwind of water-blades, shredding like birds in an airplane propeller.

The rest took down the remainder in seconds. Tenno stood there for a moment, gasping for breath wildly, as though he wanted more and was regretful there were none left.

Shalnark was afraid, suddenly, in that moment. Something had changed; a switch had been flipped, changing the cold, ruthless leader into a monstrous, blood-letting machine. He did not seem himself at all; his manner of killing reminded him of Danchou, but his desire was something completely alien.

If Shalnark had seen the look with which Kurapika had struck Kuroro in the backseat of a car five years ago, he would have understood better.

Protectively, he walked over to Shizuku and pulled her to him from the waist.

And then Tenno's eyes flashed red for the first time since the battle had begun.

.

Akatsuki sat there, blinking at the man sitting across from her in the mossy cave while the rain continued outside, still trying to figure out what had happened.

She could have sworn, ten seconds ago, she had been in the living room of the plantation mansion, still on the shoulders of the whirling Demisse, and then the shattering of the front door and...

And here she was.

She frowned, watching the Ethiopian's back as he leaned out of the entrance of the cave, shrewd eyes watching for anyone who might have followed them.

Satisfied, he sighed as he came back in and sat across from her, picking bits of dried branches and grass that littered the bottom of the cave and collecting them all together in a neat pile, which he set on fire with some matches in his pocket.

"De...Demisse?"

He looked up from the crackling fire in surprise, meeting her illumined eyes. After a second's pause, he gave a little laugh and sat back against the wall, his arms behind his head. "You want to know what happened, right?"

She gave him a little look of annoyance which he shrugged off indifferently. "It's simple, really. Back up at the mansion, there's a little battle going on, and you can't defend yourself, can you? I thought not," with a little chuckle at her astonished look.

She drew herself up a little at that. "I can handle a wakizashi if I need to."

He snorted at her. "You can drop your high-and-mighty act around me. Besides, you don't have a waki-whatcha-ma-call-it with you, do you?"

"I'd be able to handle the katana, too, but Tenno seems to have commandeered the one I lent him."

He gave her a little glance. "You have a...special...relationship with him, don't you?"

She colored. "Within reason." Then she sighed and let her shoulders droop.

He observed her silence for a minute, eyes roving over her sad beauty and deducing layers of her past without asking a word. Abruptly, he said, "Anyway, to put things shortly, I 'stopped' time around us for a couple of minutes to get you out of there. If I'm right," with another glance back out at the rain, "they'll be able to hold their own without me, maybe even better. It can get disorienting for my comrades in battle, to have situations change instantly like that; usually I keep to myself in missions, so I don't distract the others."

"Do you know why they're here? It has something to do with you, doesn't it?"

"Vaguely. They are members of the EEE. They must have guessed I defected and came back for punishment."

"Well, that explains the situation, I guess," Akatsuki said with another little laugh. So much softer! She had been bitter too long. Suddenly she thought of Tenno with a pang of pity.

No, that wasn't the way! Can't you see, Tenno, that steeping in your misery will only cause misery to those around you?

And I am no better, she thought. I've been letting the past eat me up, scorning those around me with the tittering laughter and painted smiles and poised tilts of head.

She looked over at the strong man across from her, occupied in stirring the flames so that they snapped and sparkled. Why is he different? How can he kill and be unaffected? How can he continue to smile and charm while his occupation is to destroy?

It's because he's accepted it as a duty, and separated it from his joy of living life. He kills to live but, while he's living, he forgets about what he does.

He felt her eyes on him, looked up and smiled. "You'll find your happiness, someday. Akatsuki."

The corners of her mouth twitched a little, muscles unused to this natural kind of smile. Then it shyly spread, and lit up her entire face.

Demisse could only stare at that beautiful smile for a minute, and then he began to laugh. And she started to laugh, until both of them actually threw their heads back and clutched their sides. And that's all they did until he peeked back out of the cave and announced that they should return.

She felt utterly refreshed.

.

Jealousy ran like an electric current through the nen-poisoned, activity-induced mind of Tenno.

All he was able to see was the mocking face of Akatsuki, the triumphant look of Demisse, and it overtook him, it filled him.

Betrayer, usurper, mine, Mine, MINE!

Kurapika was never quite able to explain to himself what he did next.

"HUUAALLGGH!" With an unintelligible cry, he leaped forward, two chains simultaneously flicking from his fingers.

Within an instant, before the horrified eyes of the rest of the Spiders, Shalnark was caught in the Chain Jail, watching as the dreaded chain of Tenno's index finger flew through the air and touched Shizuku's forehead. With a cry, Shalnark struggled violently to get free as he watched Shizuku cried out soundlessly, writhing for that fraction of a second.

The rain lifted suddenly, allowing a small trickle of sunlight through the open gaping holes in the ceiling.

Kurapika let the chains drop to the floor as he came back to himself, gasping, watching Shizuku fall as if in slow motion, and Shalnark catch her.

No...why, WHY?

I am Tenno. They are disobedient, they must be punished.

That...that...why did I do that? What possessed me?

He tossed his natural emotion away and let coolness fill himself. He was Tenno.

"So it shall be," he said abruptly, turning away from the gazes of the others, Shalnark shaking Shizuku, opening her eyes vacantly and asking, "Who are you?"

That sort of thing...he refused to face it...if he let down his guard, his guise as the all-powerful Tenno for even a minute, all he had worked for would be in vain.

He stepped outside as the other members crowded around Shizuku, calling her name, finding that she didn't remember any of them anymore, because her memory had been wiped as white as a snow-fallen landscape.

He lifted his eyes to the two people emerging from the trees outside the clearing.

Akatsuki. Demisse.

He had enough human in him now to put it aside. "Akatsuki. Go heal Shizuku."

The laughter that had lit her eyes died now, replaced with coldness as she stared him down, smoldering under the crude demand. "No," she said.

"Akatsuki."

"I don't feel like it." She turned away from both men and marched back into the mansion, now partially destroyed.

He gave Demisse a cold glare which the other man held stubbornly for a minute, and then they both followed.

.

The mansion was utterly quiet. Tenno having retired for the evening, the rest all sat around. Shalnark and Coltopi had already left, taking one of the helicopters and the oblivious Shizuku, intending to take her to Hokkaido at Kanzo's suggestion in hopes that her mind might be healed there.

None of them noticed, or rather, they all pretended not to notice, when Hisoka left at the same time.

Demisse was the most outraged of them all, but his objections had been quieted by the rest.

"No," Bolonolev said when he announced that they should all mutiny against their leader, "You've seen what Tenno is like. If we rebel now, he'll easily take us down. After all, he is the Chain-User first."

"What we need is a plan," mused Kalluto, shifting a look to Illumi. "Tenno's weakness..."

"Does he have one?" sighed Kanzo, remembering what Hanzo had told him about how powerful Kurapika had been, even before discovering nen.

"Yes," said Bolonolev, slowly, "but we can't use it."

"Why not?"

"Because, he hasn't been in contact with those people for more than five years."

.

"Shizuku, Kuroro. I...I broke her..."

Kuroro's face was unnervingly passive. "How?"

"I used the...the Time Chain..."

Now he flinched. "Ow..."

At any other time, the mere thought of the dreaded Danchou of the Genei Ryodan saying "ow" would make him smile, if not laugh. Also, he found such a response a massive understatement to that torturing ability. But instead, he hung his head in shame.

"I regret it, I would do anything to reverse it, but..."

"Can't you heal her with your Holy Chain?"

"No, that's a restricted skill based on my own Reinforced self-healing skills."

"Akatsuki, then."

"She won't do it."

"Why not?"

"She said she didn't feel like it."

"Lovely girl, this Akatsuki of yours. Why don't you just steal her ability, then?"

"I...what?"

"Steal it. You defeated me, right?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Because it...My God, Kurapika, are you really dense enough to not have found out about it yet? And here I was thinking you were intelligent enough to lead my Spiders. Really, I should reconsider entrusting them to you..."

"Enough, Kuroro! What about me defeating you?"

Kuroro grinned at him. "Hold out your left hand up like this," he said, demonstrating. Kurapika did so. "Now imagine a heavy, square weight in it." He did so and gasped when Kuroro's black book appeared. He would have dropped it, but it seemed self-suspended in the air.

"This is your inheritance for defeating me," Kuroro said quietly. "The stipulation states that all the skills I stole are transferred back to the original owners if they are still alive, or onto whoever killed me. This is my 'condition'."

"I see," said Kurapika mutedly, thumbing through the pages. "And you...don't have any skills to...heal or...bring back from the dead?" as a flash of light brown hair and hazel eyes passed through his memory.

Kuroro shook his head ruefully. "If that were so, I would already have brought back Paku...or Machi...I'm sorry, there isn't anything you can do for your little friend."

"Of course," said Kurapika listlessly.

He closed the book and turned determinedly towards the black door.

"Where are you going?" Kuroro asked mildly. It was the first time Kurapika had not passed directly through the blue door afterward.

"To wake up. I'm going to speak with Akatsuki."

**Author's Notes: **I did warn you that this wouldn't be a happy fanfic. I'm sorry it's so depressing! Wah! But it will get better...eventually...


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Music **Suggestion: (Tree of Life) and Death is the Road to Awe from The Fountain by Clint Mansell

"Why did you hurt that girl?"

Kurapika tightened his lips as he closed the door behind him and sat in a chair across from where Akatsuki stood next to her bed. "Why didn't you heal her?"

"I told you earlier. I didn't feel like it."

He sighed heavily and stood. He was pure Tenno; he had to be, in order to do what he had to do next; so he removed himself from humanity and let cold monstrosity take over.

She narrowed her eyes as he took two steps forward. "It doesn't matter now." He lifted his left hand and let the black book fall into his open hand.

"What are you doing?" Suddenly her voice was harsh. "Tenno! What are you..."

Then she gave out a little cry. Something felt like it was being pulled out of her, from her navel. She arched her back and fell back onto the bed, clutching her stomach as she panted, staring at him with accusing eyes.

"What...the HELL...did you do?"

He examined the new skill in the book coolly, disregarding her. "Isn't it obvious? I'm going to go find her and heal her. It was my mistake, but no matter..."

"How DARE you! How DARE you!" she shrieked, realizing what he had done as she stomped toward him and lifted up a hand to strike.

He caught her wrist without even looking at her, turning back a page or two disinterestedly, and then flung her back onto her bed.

She ground her teeth in anger. "What, you think you're some kind of hero? Do you even realize what kind of power that is?"

"One that can save, one that you didn't use to save."

"You aren't some sort of Buddha or...Jesus Christ...you can't just go around healing people; it's the way it works, can't you understand?"

"All I can understand is that you refuse to help unless you 'feel like it'. That sort of thing...how does it make you any different from a killer?"

"If I were to start healing everyone who came to ask, then everyone would ask. Having a power like this...doesn't make you God or something. What it does is drain you of energy and get loads of greedy people coming after you with smiles and promises."

"Nevertheless. It is too late now."

"You! First you steal my family katana, now you..."

"I didn't 'steal' it. You gave it to me."

"I lent it to you! You just assume that everyone's purpose revolves around you!"

He gave her a red-rimmed look, now. "You wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't understand? I wouldn't understand?" She gave a bitter laugh. "It's you who don't understand! You let your own hatred poison you, and you blame it on others! Not like Demisse..."

His eyes turned fully red. "Shut up. Don't..."

"Demisse doesn't let this sort of thing..."

"Shut up!" Angrily, he pulled from the black book a cyan blue bubble and flung it at her. It hit her full in the chest, and she collapsed, unconscious, onto the bed.

"Don't tell me what to do," he said, bitterly, and left.

.

The group outside hushed into silence as they heard the footsteps of Tenno grown louder in the long hallway outside the mutilated main-room, and then the opening and shutting of his door.

"Friends?" Bergron couldn't believe his ears. "Tenno...has friends?"

"Had friends," Kalluto corrected. "My brother being one of them. But that was too long ago. I can guess that he hasn't contacted them since."

Valentyna, despite her disapproval of Kurapika's actions, could not help but object. "That man has had enough problems with 'friends'," she said. "Just leave them alone."

The others threw cold glances at her. "Don't tell me you're still standing up for him," Kanzo said. "You saw what happened. He betrayed us, he used his powers against us."

She scowled. "I don't know what was going through his mind," she said, "but I do know that he's been through more than you can guess. Enough to make him enraged beyond thinking sometimes." She cast a glance over at Demisse. "Where were you during the fight, anyway?"

He sighed heavily. "Akatsuki was defenseless," he explained quietly, "so I took her away from the fight."

"And?"

"And nothing. We found a place to stay out of the rain, we came back after the fight was over."

So you misunderstood, Kurapika, Valentyna thought, having already guessed what was on his mind. May you correct yourself before you cause more damage.

"Speaking of Akatsuki...where is she?"

Demisse's head shot up, looking around. Of course he already knew she wasn't in the room, but where was she? He stood suddenly and wordlessly walked out.

The others watched him leave. "Tenno...he's jealous of that man, isn't he?" asked Kalluto.

"Hm, it would seem so," said Illumi expressionlessly. Then he shrugged.

"After all, is it really our business?"

Kalluto was quiet, understanding the meaning behind his older brother's words. "No, that isn't our business."

.

Demisse opened the door as Akatsuki sat up on her bed, rubbing her temples. "What happened?" he asked worriedly.

"I...that...Oh!" Her eyes snapped open as she remembered, and a furious look crossed her face. "That man...I'm going to murder him...!"

He watched her scowling and wringing her hands. "What happened?" he asked again.

"My healing powers...he stole them!"

"What?" He stared at her blankly. "Does such an ability exist, to steal the nen powers of others?"

"Evidently." Her eyes snapped in anger.

He walked over and pulled her up, gently. "Come with me," he said quietly. "Let's go for a walk."

She hesitated for a moment, and then, expression softening as she looked at him, said, "Okay."

It was very dark out, being the time of the new moon, but Demisse knew that they would be safe from any prowling animals. He had been in these jungles long enough. They walked in silence for a few minutes before he heard her say quietly, "Demisse?"

"Yes?" he answered, in just the same tone of voice.

"What...who were you, before you came here and became a fighter?"

"Oh, that," he laughed. "Nothing, really; I was just a regular little boy growing up in Ethiopia, just like anyone else."

"Did you like to dance? Did you want to be a dancer?"

"No, not really. Dancing is just something you do, a physical manifestation of energy and happiness within you. No, before I was trained in nen to become a specialist fighter, I wanted to study animals. Mostly birds. But...well...life doesn't go the way you want, always, and..."

He was quiet for a little while, and then asked, "What about you?"

She gave a little laugh, natural again. Why was it that the natural laugh felt so unnatural to her? "I guess...when I was a little girl...before my family was killed by the Genei Ryodan eleven years ago...I actually did want to become a geisha, and wear beautiful dresses and dance beautiful dances. But that...it's all a little girl's dream land, and once you're forced into something, you start to resent it, even if you wanted it to begin with."

"True. Akatsuki?"

"Yes?"

"What do you want, now?"

She stood still and looked up at the sky. He paused a couple of steps ahead and looked back at her. "I guess...I don't really know but...I think, that I just...want to discover happiness, be with someone and be happy..."

"And you thought that would be with Tenno?"

"I have no idea," she murmured, thinking back to the first time she had met the man with the blond hair and black eyes. "Maybe...I thought that we could understand each other, since we both were troubled, but really...really...two people selfishly looking for that sort of thing from one another...it doesn't work, does it?"

He thought for a minute and then answered, "I think it can, depending on the people, but for you, it won't."

Why am I so attracted to you that I'm willing to betray Tenno? Akatsuki wondered. Why does it feel so natural to be here, talking with you?

Because you actually treat me like I'm human. Because you pull out my weakness, hang them out where I can see them, and then encourage me to overcome them.

Demisse took a step forward, closing the distance between them. "What do you want, now?" he asked again, this time more authoritively.

She gave him a little smile, "Are you asking me if I want you?"

"Yes."

"A little straight-forward, isn't it? You hardly know me." If you did, she thought, you might not want me.

He lifted her chin and smiled into her eyes. "Sometimes you just know. I knew from the night you healed me."

"Last night, you mean."

He laughed. "Yes."

She joined in his laughter. "I...don't know, Demisse..."

"Well, take your time," he said, releasing her chin and stepping backwards. Then he frowned back up at the house with dull lights. "In any case, I'm regretting being involved in the Spiders. Mostly because Tenno...that man isn't good for you."

She looked down regretfully. I'm sorry, Tenno, I thought we would understand each other, but...

"No, nor I for him," she said.

.

"Kurapika, stop blaming yourself."

Once again attempting to get some sleep and unable to get beyond this place, Kurapika was nonetheless a little relieved that Kuroro, rather than mocking him, was actually sympathetic.

"No, it is my fault," he said, determinedly. "But it doesn't matter; I'm going to go rectify my mistake. And then..." He sighed, thinking of what he had to do.

Kuroro was quiet for a minute and then said, "I'm going to regret telling you this but..."

"...but?"

"...I killed a Spider once."

Kurapika's mouth twitched in spite of himself. "With a shoe, or did you use bug spray?"

"That was unkind."

"Sorry." Kurapika looked away from where Kuroro on the solid yet unseen floor. "Tell me," he said quietly. He was human, now, letting regret and anxiety pass through him in waves. It hurt. He wanted desperately to block it off.

Kuroro sighed. "It was about, oh, seven years ago, I think? The previous number eight, the one before Shizuku. Anyway." He shrugged, less like he didn't care, and more like he was trying to rid himself of the feelings of regret. "He was a new member, not one of the original, young, about your age..."

Kurapika didn't like being called "young", but it was better than "girly" so he held his tongue.

"Come to think of it, at the time I wasn't much older." He gave a ironic laugh. "The long and short of it is, I lost my temper when he kept questioning my decisions and baiting me, and so..."

"...and so you killed him."

"Yup." Kuroro sighed, more heavily this time, and looked up at the invisible ceiling. He still hadn't found any ladders or trampolines in the room yet, so he hadn't been able to reach the top, despite the relative weightlessness in the room.

"Anyway, I received a lot of opposition at first. Machi, mostly, was vehemently angry about it and almost resigned from the group in protest. Looking back on it now, it was kind of a silly threat but...In the end, they forgave me and we moved on."

Kurapika still looked at him blankly. "And?"

"The end. If you want a moral, it's 'Having a group of spider friends can be fun, but watch out for the poisonous ones." He laughed, less ironically and more cynically this time. Then he cast a serious gaze at Kurapika.

"But here the real problem begins," he said to himself.

Kurapika met his gaze, black eyes meeting black eyes. Then, back in the real world, he heard a closing and shutting of a door, and two sets of footsteps, each of which he knew. His eyes turned such an alarming shade of red that Kuroro gasped.

"They're back," he muttered, and got up. Kuroro caught him by the sleeve as he headed back to the black door.

"Kurapika. I think you should try to get to sleep."

He shook off the grasp. "What do you mean."

"You know what I mean. You're unstable right now. The way the nen is flowing right now..."

Kurapika shook his head. Tenno was in charge. Jekyll was Hyde again.

"But I'm being betrayed," he answered defiantly, and exited.

.

Akatsuki looked up as the door of her room swung open for the second time and Tenno entered, closing the door solidly behind him.

She disregarded his angry glare coolly. "Do you need something, Tenno?" she asked sarcastically. At the moment she was still too angry at him to allow for any other feeling for him.

"Why you. Why Demisse." He stepped closer to her, and though a flicker of fear ran through her at the wild look in his eyes, she stood her ground.

"I don't think it's any of your concern. Why do you care?"

"I don't like other people, other men, touching what is rightfully mine." He came so close to her that she was forced to take a step backwards to avoid him knocking her over.

"A goddess belongs to no one." Still prideful, still mocking.

"But I could make you mine." Real fear seized her at last as he abruptly pulled her body against his and pressed his mouth to hers possessively.

With a cry, she wrenched free, left hand grabbing the hilt of the katana at his waist and twisting it as she pulled it suddenly so that the blade drew a long shallow line from his lower left side to his right shoulder. She gasped as she stepped back, brandishing the sword in front of her face.

His eyes suddenly took on their unnatural gleam as he materialized his Dowsing chain and threw it to wrap around the blade, tearing it from her grasp. He flung it to the side; it fell clear across the room with a metallic clatter.

Then he had her lifted forearms tightly in his hands and pushed her backwards. The backs of her knees buckled when they hit the bed behind and the two of them folded as one from the waist onto the mattress, him pinning her by her forearms above her head. Her chest arched with the pressure of her stretched shoulders and desperate breathing.

She struggled terrifiedly, trying to kick, although his hips were pressed up against hers, twisting her torso and shoulders under him.

He only observed her movements under him for a moment, dispassionately, and then abruptly pushed off, pacing backwards while she sat up, panting. It was merely a threat; he'd never intended to do anything from the beginning.

"You will love only me," he told her, although of course the words contradicted themselves. She shot a fiery glare at him as she stood up, fury marring her perfect features.

"I never loved you from the first," she spat out.

Justice. I am Tenno. Punishment.

Without warning, the deadly dagger chain zipped out of his hand from his little finger.

It flew! It struck its target!

It entered...

Kurapika gasped, coming to his senses at last as the chain pierced her. Panicked, he foolishly yanked it back, realizing that the condition Tenno had intended would kill her instantly, but too late! The dagger tore through her chest as it exited, leaving a gaping wound. Blood started to gush, spraying the floor, dying her kimono the color of her name where it was not already mirrored red from the oblique gash across his torso that had pressed against her seconds before.

He rushed forward as she started to fall, and caught her, the dampness of her soaked kimono smearing warmly across his face and bare arms.

God...no...what have I done?

Akatsuki.

"Hold on!" he cried out, heart pounding like it would burst. He took out the black book, turning to the last page. A red glow erupted from his fingertips and he pressed them to the wound.

The redness, like flames from water, leapt away from the wound and dissipated into air.

_The only person I can't heal is myself..._Even now, even when it was no longer hers, it betrayed her!

He called forth his Holy Chain, even though he knew its impotency on another person, willing it, pleading with it...

The cross-shaped healing chain hesitated before it reluctantly wrapped around her body.

"Come on," he gritted, pouring out more nen.

The blood continued in its scarlet fountain; she looked up at him with gasping, bloodless white lips.

"Come on...God...Come on..."

The chains were useless, he was useless...but! But! Please!

_Tenno...I forgive you...but...this is the end..._

"God!" The chains dropped to the ground at last as he collapsed to his knees, still cradling her bleeding body, limp, stiff arms hanging at her sides, head dropped back, exposing her throat.

"God! GOD! God, no, God..."

_Tenno...please let go...don't let this anger carry you always..._

The light was leaving her eyes.

He gave at last and pulled her head into his chest, dry sobs dying in his throat. "You were supposed to be immortal..." brokenly.

One last glimpse of haughty pride as she considered a retort, deciding against it, and then the cherry wood eyes closed as she haggardly rasped out, "You...real...name...never..." Tears streaked along her face.

"Kurapika," he whispered into her hair, rocking her where he knelt.

_Because there must be an untwisted soul out there who can heal you._

_But it was never me._

_I'm sorry..._

The last ghost of a smile on her face. "Sayo...nara...Kurapi..."

...

Silence.

Deadly silence.

He struggled to cry, but no tears would moisten his red parched eyes. He was dried up, like the creased palms of an old man.

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil/Must give us pause.

Then the door opened, and Demisse took a step into the room.

You know how a second can feel like a lifetime?


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**Music Suggestion: ** Sorrow from Gladiator by Hans Zimmer, and Lovers from House of Flying Daggers by Shigeru Umebayashi

I said...

would never again lose a comrade...

...to my selfishness...

You know how a second can feel like a lifetime?

Like the three-way duel at the end of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? Or the death of Julia from Cowboy Bebop? Yes, that's how it felt now: limp, dangling form of Akatsuki in one arm, the other extended of jangling chains at Demissie.

There were no questions, there were no answers. From behind, Kurapika could hear the footsteps of the others approaching in the hall, then a pause as Demisse released his time-manipulation powers as if to say, "This is my fight," to the ones behind, and plowed forward madly, spear pointed at him.

Kurapika disappeared and reappeared across the bed, on the other side, utilizing the transportation skill from Kuroro's book. Gently, he laid Akatsuki's body down and then stood defensively.

Demisse gave an animal-like cry and jumped at him again, intending to spear him to the wall, but Kurapika moved easily and punched his wide-open side before selecting his next skill.

He held out his palm and let out the orange-yellow wave of nen-pauser at the other man. Let all of them come. It struck the Ethiopian just long enough for the others to arrive in the room, dazed at the sight as Demisse threw a punch in their close-distance range, swinging the side of the spear as he did so, intending to clothesline the Kuruta, who leaped up and landed on the spear for a fraction of an instant before stepping on his head at an angle as he leaped in the other direction, causing Demisse to plow into the wall, creating an epicenter pattern of cracks like a web.

The other Spiders, deducing what had happened, rushed in with a conglomerate cry and began attacking him all at once.

And still he held them off, a beast of whirling movement, dancing chains and his own nen skills. He did not know if he was his own animal, fighting from survival instincts, or one constructed from the nen of another; but he had enough control just to fight and not do any more.

Valentyna's eyes flickered back and forth between the fighting and the limp form of the woman on the bed, and then tightened her lips determinedly. She had thought Kurapika had changed. Now she realized she'd been wrong. He was completely unrecognizable. Despite her previous misgivings, she joined in, blocking for the others and throwing emission attacks at him.

Demisse, across the room, picked up the blood-stained katana and hurled it at him. As if to allow the slightest outlet, Kurapika dodged only enough so that the blade pierced his left arm and stuck there, half in, half out. The Kuruta continued to fight, eyes blood red. The entire room was painted in the hue of the still woman on the bed.

Bergron narrowed his eyes as he realized the Kuruta could kill any of them whenever he wanted. But he was holding back.

_To lose another comrade again..._

It was mercy.

Bolonolev was the first to notice when Kurapika blocked one of his music attacks easily with a wall of silence. The first and only time he had ever been defeated by someone, about nine years ago, by a calm but deadly man with black eyes.

"Danchou's...condition..." he whispered, eyes glued on the black book. Kalluto and Illumi, hearing him, immediately backed off, and the rest of the new Spiders, confused, followed their lead, except Demisse. The Kuruta did not continue pursuing, but only stood there, panting, still on the defensive, back to the Ethiopian but sensing his every move.

"Demisse, come if you do not want to die," said Illumi in a commanding tone.

"Better to die...destroying him..." growled Demisse. If he had been a Kuruta, his eyes would be flaming red right then.

Kurapika threw him a glance and then tossed the cyan blue bubble at him suddenly. Demisse slumped against the wall, unconscious.

The rest of the Spiders fled.

Listlessly, automatically, Kurapika pulled the katana out of the sheath that was his arm and held up his thumb. In seconds, he was healed. He paused, considering the stripe across his chest, and decided against it.

Casting one more glance, sorrowfully, this time, at Demisse's slumped figure, he tiptoed toward the scarlet-stained bed, holding his breath, as a prince in a sick and twisted version of Sleeping Beauty.

Again, he tried, and the tears would not form. Instead, swallowing, he lifted one of Akatsuki's limp hands in both of his and kissed the back of it, softly, and then, more passionately, turned it over and kissed the palm, too.

Demisse would know better than he how to lay her to rest, he realized, and placed the katana in her hand before letting it gently back down on the bed.

He had one more thing to do, now, and then, whatever happened to him...he didn't care anymore.

.

The phone rang. Once, twice.

Shalnark ignored it, instead looking at the childlike form of Shizuku, curled up on the futon, happily reading.

He closed his eyes in pain. She doesn't even recognize me any more.

Never will, ever again.

Thrice.

With a sigh, he switched open the cellphone. "Hello?"

"Shalnark."

The voice filled the normally passive Shalnark with rage. "Ten...no, Kurapika, what do you want?"

"I want to know where Shizuku is. Tell me."

"Never!" _You won't be able to answer the phone either, because one time out of three, on the other end will be the god of death._

"Shalnark, please..."

The memory of Shizuku's back arching as the silver watch brought buried memories to scorching reality flooded his mind.

"You will never get near her again," he told him firmly, and hung up.

He turned back to Shizuku, who looked up from her book. "Ano...anata no namae wa nan desu ka?" she asked in Japanese.

"Shalnark desu yo," he answered, heavily, for the fiftieth time that day.

"Ah, sou desu ne..." She turned back to her reading, only to forget him again.

"Shalnark." He turned to face Coltopi, entering the room.

"Yes?"

"I've been contacted by Bolonolev. Tenno killed a member of the Spiders, and they've gone into hiding."

Shalnark's heart skipped a beat. "Who?"

"Akatsuki."

He took a deep breath. "Well, it's not like nobody saw that one coming," he said dryly. Then he shook his head.

"Shalnark, they want us to return. You're the only one who can lead us right now."

He took one last agonized look at the black haired girl lying on the futon and exited the room with Coltopi.

Yes, the Spiders had a new mission, now.

.

He knew Shizuku was in Hokkaido, and yet, even in spite of his Dowsing Chain, it was proving very difficult to find her. Hokkaido was a big place, after all. Up here, he was even more conspicuous that he had been down in Honshu. He felt stares at him that ranged from curious to hostile.

He was on the western side now, close to the port town of Otaru, and still no leads. He had been searching for nearly a month and a half. He was almost ready to give up.

How useless, he thought. Has all of my learning and training brought me to this? I am a library made up of fragments, quotations, unfinished sentences, amputated stumps of books.

He looked with glazed, unfocused eyes down at the dully glittering Judgment Chain in his hands and began to speak, lowly.

"To be, or not to be; that is the question:

Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles"

He closed his eyes. How corny. How extraordinarily corny, that he should be repeating these lines.

How amazingly appropriate.

"...and by opposing end them."

He could do it now. He could end this miserable pulp of his life by plunging that chain into his heart with an unfulfillable condition.

Why couldn't he?

Was it his will, or the will of the foreign nen flowing through him?

Enough. I am finished. I will fight these unnatural urges, even if it kills me.

I am done with deeds of death.

It was still vaguely cold, even in the jeans, long sleeved shirt and jacket he had procured to replace his tattered, stained Tenno outfit. He shivered as he leaned against a pine tree in the outskirts of the small town he was in. A small, Western-style house stood in a clearing nearby, but there was no noise besides the sounds of early spring birds and squirrels. He sighed, closed his eyes, and relaxed against the rough, puzzlework bark.

He heard a snapping of pine needles behind him and stood upright, keeping his hands in his pockets as he watched the intruder emerge.

"You...you are the leader of the Genei Ryodan, aren't you?" asked the man, approaching. He was really more of a young man, maybe the same age as Kurapika, and in his hand he carried a long knife, not even bothering to hide it.

Kurapika did not answer, merely watched as the other man approached. "You will pay," the man snarled, "for killing my sister, who was killed in the Palace of Westminster when you bastards blew it up." He paused, and then began running forward, knife raised.

Kurapika only watched, not moving. You will only end my suffering, he thought. There is no reason for me to fight back, not this time.

Just before he reached him, the other man suddenly stopped short, eyes rolling upwards, and then collapsed on his face to the side of Kurapika. Astonished, he looked up, to see a young woman standing there, a heavy shovel in her upraised hands.

She looked at him with wide eyes full of horror. "I...killed him..." she whispered in shock, and staggered forward. He caught her, but she regained her footing and stepped away a pace or two.

Kurapika sighed and knelt beside the other man, feeling his pulse along the side of his neck. "You just knocked him unconscious," he told her. "Setsuko."

She fell against the trunk of the pink tree and sank down to a sitting position in relief. "Thank goodness," she whispered. "To kill another person...how horrible that would be!"

"Very," he agreed woodenly, and offered her his hand to pull her back up. "Come on, let's get out of here before he wakes up."

"That's my house, over there," she said, pointing towards the small house nearby. He followed her numbly.

"Why are you here, anyway?" he asked her, curiously. "I thought you were training to be a geisha in Kyoto."

"I was," she answered, opening the door and gesturing for him to enter. "But my father had a stroke, and he doesn't have much longer, so I decided to come home for a little while to see him before he passes away. Right now, Okaa-san is at the hospital with him..." She broke off, pressing a hand to her mouth while tears began to sparkle in her eyes.

How ironic, he thought, watching her, her misfortune is so common, so much less than mine, and yet she feels enough pain to cry. These frail human emotions flow together insignificantly, like tears in rain.

She gave a little musical laugh as she sniffed and recovered herself. "In any case, please don't tell Akatsuki-sama about it," she said. "I know how she feels about the Ainu, and even though I'm not, I'm afraid that she might think, since I'm from Hokkaido..."

"Akatsuki..." He felt pain as though the katana Demisse had thrown at him had pierced his heart, instead, and gave an involuntary gasp.

Setsuko frowned as she regarded him. "What...did something happen...between you two...?"

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes so she wouldn't see the redness that flooded them. "More than...something happening between..." He could not continue.

She was silent for a minute, frowning in concentration as she read his expression. "She's...gone?"

He nodded silently, and she continued, reading even further (though he could not tell how). "You...killed her?" The last word ended in a gasp as she stepped away, one hand stretched out in front of her as though she was afraid he would kill her, too. "What...HOW?"

"It was...an accident...and not an accident..."

She deduced the truth from his eyes as he opened them again, and took a shaky breath, her eyes traveling down to the bare emblem of sin on the back of his right hand, unhidden. "You...you are...a criminal, a murderer, aren't you? You never told me...why...?"

Because it never came up. Because we only met twice, and yet you read my heart like a piece of rotting manuscript. That sort of thing...I can't handle it, it's too invasive.

No one has read me like that since...

"You...how could you?" For the first time since he'd met her, anger was written plainly, justly, on her features. Her small hands clenched and unclenched in fists as she stood across from him, still in the entryway, defiantly. "You deceived me, you kill others, you killed her! She and I weren't close, but still...you...you're no better than that man out there!"

He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Setsuko. I'm sorry I deceived you." He turned to the door, not feeling enough energy to try to explain.

"Kurapika." Her voice was a little softer now, angry tones still underlining, but something more, pity, involved as well. He paused, but did not look back.

"I still believe that you are a good person," she said in a quivering voice. "But right now...I'm sorry, I just can't face you, not as you are. But I sincerely hope...hope that you can change. Because there are really evil people in this world, and then there are those that can be brought back from the edge of destruction, and I think you're one of those kinds of people, and not the hopeless kind."

He sighed, shifting his weight, and opened the door, closing it softly behind him.

I hoped so, too, Setsuko.

But is there any way back from the edge of the precipice, now?

.

"Kurapika. This has gone on long enough. Why are you still blaming yourself?"

He shifted from where he sat, huddled in the fetal position, like a girl with menstrual cramps. Kuroro was sitting next to him, again, but there was an expression on his face he had never expected to see.

Worry.

"Kuroro."

"What?"

"You have no reason to try to cheer me up, you know."

"I know.

"So why are you comforting me?"

Kuroro was quiet for a while, letting his eyes roam the unseen boundaries of the room as he considered, maybe more how he was going to say it than what he was going to say. Finally, he answered, "I suppose it's because you're so pitiful right now, don't you agree?"

Kurapika felt impelled to retort, to lash out; but, remembering it was his hubris that had caused so much misfortune in the first place, he swallowed that unlawful-for-mortals sensation and answered, "Yeah."

Kuroro gave him a tiny smile and watched as he continued to berate himself.

"I...am the lowest...to lose myself like that...again..." His eyebrows quivered where they were drawn together, and he pulled even tighter into himself, if it were possible. "It's as if I had never learned."

Kuroro sighed and looked up, musingly. "This sort of thing will happen. If anything it is my fault. For my vindictiveness, I didn't hold you back from going when I already knew what would happen."

"You tried."

"I could have tried harder."

"Why do you care."

"Because your friend is right; there are some who have a chance to escape evil. I was not; you are, you still are." He gave a humorless laugh. "I suppose I do have morals, after all."

"I can't distinguish now, what's my own wickedness, and what's coming from your nen."

Kuroro was quiet for a minute. "Suppose I...pass on?" he ventured quietly.

Kurapika looked up with wild eyes. "No...please don't...I'm afraid..."

Of being lonely.

Kuroro shrugged. "Of course I didn't expect...but you take the risk, you know."

He tightened his lips. "I have faith. That I can overcome. Besides," he gave a broken, bitter laugh, "there's no one left for me to hurt anymore."

.

Kanzo stared up at the moon from the gaping hole of the abandoned warehouse they were staying at. The former Spiders, sans Hisoka, all seemed much more at ease in this sort of scruffy atmosphere than they had in the more conventional places they'd stayed with Tenno.

"What an irony," said Shalnark, bitterly, across the room. "Just like last time, the Chain-User destroys two members, causes one to defect, and isolates the Head."

Coltopi answered him quickly, "No, we are down three members, but we have a Head." He brushed the hair out of his face just enough to give Shalnark a small smile.

"Agreed," said Kalluto and Bolonolev quickly.

Shalnark looked around at the newer members keenly. "And what do you think? Bergron?"

"Agreed."

"Illumi?"

He only gave him a brief nod.

"Demisse? What are you going to do?"

Demisse gave a choked laugh, all cheerfulness extinguished. "Isn't it obvious? As long as our goal is to destroy Tenno, I'm staying with you."

"We'd be happy to have you with us after, too."

He sighed, letting his shoulders sag as he leaned against the wall, spear lying on the floor in front of him. "We will see."

"Kanzo?"

Kanzo followed ghostly streams of the almost full moon to the illuminated face of Shalnark and gave the rest of them a cryptic smile.

"When the sun has reached its meridian, it declines, and when the moon has become full, it wanes.

"And agreed," he concluded to Shalnark's "now what is that supposed to mean, exactly" look, resuming his stare upwards.

Shalnark rested his gaze finally on Valentyna. "Are you willing to go with our decision?" he asked her, quietly. "We won't try to stop you if you decide not to."

She continued to regard the ground where she sat, and Shalnark felt a brief twinge of sympathy for her, having had her former friend betray her like that.

At last she met his eyes darkly. "Agreed."

.

Look, homeward, Angel, now, and melt with ruth.

Where was he now? He himself couldn't tell quite, but it was a vague memory, a hazy waft of happier days, as he wandered the dirt roads, lined with street venders, calling merrily out for customers to purchase their fruit, fish, and other items. The warm air was wet with sea mist mixing with early summer sweat.

He looked up at the white sails of a familiar ship, like the wings of an albatross, blankly. Something in the back of his mind was telling him this was a special place, an important place, a beginning and an ending.

He gazed up at the surrounding bare cliffs, down to the green trees, weltering already under the May heat, like the shaggy fringes of hair around a Franciscan monk's head.

Oh yes, he had been on that boat. He had watched a young boy climb that cliff, he had fought with the dark haired man who came with that boy in the middle of a storm at sea.

He could hear their voices now, "Kurapika! Kurapika, it's so good to see you!"

The voices. They were too loud to be in his head. He turned, slowly, dreadingly.

He met the brown eyes of a happily smiling young man, now taller than him, muscular and tanned.

His broken, weary gaze met the brown eyes, which changed to sudden worry.

He panicked. He ran.

"Wait! Kurapika! Come back!"

No...can't face you...this what I have done, if you were to know, you would hate me, you would despise me, and the only painful experience I haven't had yet is to have you hate me.

He dashed; he had never run so fast in his life. He heard the people around him gasp in astonishment at the two streaks that made their way from one end of town to the other.

He suddenly felt a nip at the back of the shirt he was wearing and was jerked back. The next he knew, he was being pinned to the ground by a fully grown, fully trained Reinforcement user.

"Hello, Kurapika!" Gon said cheerfully.

**Author's Notes: **I'm sorry, three terribly depressing chapters in a row! (And if you think it's depressing to read, try writing it...ugh...). But I promise, this is as depressing as it gets. Things will look up from here. Hey, they have to, with Gon back in the picture, right?

I kinda decided I was bored with releasing this so slowly, so I'm actually publishing the completed story today. If anyone is still reading, lol. I'm a little tired of it myself.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

**Music Suggestion: ** Yesterday and Here comes the Sun by the Beatles and You Can't Take Me by Bryan Adams

There is no such thing as a "reunion."

Too much time has passed. Too many tears have been shed in silence. Too many jokes have been tossed around with other friends.

And when you come back together, you are not the same people you used to be. And when you realize this, the differences are irreconcilable, and you cannot really, truly be friends again, because you want to go back to the way things were, and you never can.

Therefore, there is no such thing as a reunion.

.

"Ah, you've found the Good Samaritan!" Leorio said, standing up with a grin Lounging about on the window seat, a wiry youth that Kurapika wouldn't have recognized if it wasn't for his tell-tale white hair, sighed and corrected him.

"It's 'The Unrighteous Steward', Leorio, baka," Killua said, stretching but keeping an eye on the Kuruta.

"Um...I thought it was 'The Rich Young Ruler'," said Gon a little embarassedly.

"Gon, that's not even a parable," Kurapika snapped at last in annoyance. "You're all wrong; it's 'The Prodigal Son'."

Leorio gave a loud laugh as he came over and slapped Kurapika on the back. "Well, he looks different, but he definitely sounds like the old Kurapika."

"Um...thanks?" He edged away, the reminder of a terrifying nightmare flickering in the back of his mind as he met his old friend again.

Must purge...the atrocity...

"What are all of you doing congregated here, anyway?" he asked, noticing as a woman with short reddish hair who could have been in her late 30s walked into the door, whispered something to Gon about adding another table setting, and, giving Kurapika a sweet smile, walked back out again.

"Taking a break!" Gon announced.

"Not that you would know what that is," added Killua, slyly, getting up and padding towards them.

He didn't know quite what to say to that, and they didn't quite know how to follow it up, and thus ushered in an awkward pause, which Kurapika finally broke.

"I spoke to Hanzo a few months ago," he said. "He told me that you two were fighting some sort of...ant?"

"Oh, right. The Chimeras." Gon laughed a little, looking over at Killua. "Er, that was...how would you describe it, Killua?"

"...Fun?"

Gon pondered that word, "fun", reflecting, and then accepted it. "Yeah, it was fun." He again gave Kurapika a smile, but this time he detected something missing and something added to that smile. What was it that he felt, regret? That he knew he should know why that smile was changed, but didn't...?

"And Hanzo told me that you're making progress in nen-enhanced medical therapy," he said, turning to Leorio.

Leorio smiled smugly and adopted his arrogant, hands-on-hips attitude that Kurapika had long ago learned to interpret as covering for embarrassment for his own goals and accomplishments. "Ah, yes! Well, you know I don't like to brag, but really, I've been working so hard since you last saw me, you wouldn't even recognize me." He smirked and cupped his chin, stubbled with what appeared to be an attempt at a goatee.

"I wouldn't recognize that so much time had passed, for all you've matured," Kurapika deadpanned.

Leorio's expression changed to the special grimace he reserved for his blond friend's making fun of him. "Really, you don't even know how much I've been doing these last five years, how could you make such an assumption so quickly..."

"But we're tired of ourselves," Killua interrupted Leorio's rant, "nothing is more boring than talking about yourself when you've already explained your accomplishments a hundred times, unless you're Leorio, evidently." He gave Kurapika a hard look. "What have you been doing? We haven't heard from you in ages."

And clearly you don't watch television, thought Kurapika, or else Gon would never have brought me here in the first place. He gave a sideways glance at the dark-haired boy with the attentive look. Or would you?

There's a difference between maturity and growing up. Maturity is how you relate to other people. Growing up is how you relate to yourself.

Kurapika had matured, but never grown up; Gon and Killua had grown up, but not fully matured. Who knows where Leorio was in the equation.

"That...more than what I've been doing..." he began hesitantly, hiding his right hand in his pocket, but was miraculously saved by Mito-san (so he assumed her name to be), who entered the room to announce dinner. Fortunately for him, Gon and Killua ate so much so fast (at an unspoken competition which it is doubtful has ever been resolved) that there were no more questions asked, and Leorio was too busy flirting with Mito-san, who continually dashed polite cold water on him (once quite literally, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Leorio-san, what a dreadful accident!"). By the end of the meal, the inquiry had been pushed to the back of everyone's minds.

"Gon, would you and your friends mind cleaning up after dinner?" she asked at the meal's conclusion. Killua made a rebellious face, but Gon cheerfully said, "Okay!"

Some things never changed.

There is no such thing as a reunion. But for their sakes, he would play along for now.

.

"Aaaaaah, it's a hot one!" said Gon, brushing the curtains out of the living-room window the next morning to peer out at the sun glimmering off the hot ground outside. He turned back to give Killua and Leorio a grin. "You know what that means?"

"We stay inside where it's cool?" offered Leorio, fanning himself where he sat stretched out in an armchair.

"Nope."

"We have a 'who can melt the chocolate fastest' contest?" asked Killua, looking disgruntedly at his rapidly diminishing sweets supply.

"We stop making ridiculous suggestions?" suggested Kurapika, sparing them a glance over the top of his heavy book.

"I thought my idea was good," Leorio grumbled.

"No...it means we should go fishing!" Gon announced, and the rest of them groaned in unison. Ah...not a "not again" groan, although it may have tinged on that from Leorio and Killua, but more of a "I should have seen that coming" sort of groan.

Gon's face fell into the fatal "puppy-dog eyes" look. "Aw, I thought it would be fun."

Kurapika sought in his frozen memory and resurrected an obliging smile that usually only Gon ever saw. "No, it's a good idea," he said, closing his book and rising, simultaneously casting a "Don't you dare disappoint him" glare at Leorio before they all trooped out to find that ellusive fishing spot along the creek which Gon had claimed for his own years ago.

"Fishing", of course, implied Gon fishing, with Killua leaning over his shoulder and making jokes, Leorio over in the shade still complaining, and Kurapika with the ever-present volume occasionally throwing sarcastic wisecracks at Leorio.

The problems started when Gon thought it would be a good idea to go swimming

He could not tell exactly why, but that anticipatory gaze of Leorio's was creeping him out. Frankly, it was disgusting. But he refused to let himself be discouraged from the inviting looking water, and ignored him completely.

As Kurapika took off his grey t-shirt, leaving himself standing in nothing but his shorts, Leorio gave him a look of utter disappointment. Meanwhile, behind him, Killua began snickering.

"Pay up, Ojii-san."

"What...what...?" Kurapika stared at them all with a confused look in his wide black eyes, noticing that they didn't comment on the thin white scar that was drawn across his chest. Leorio grumbled as he pulled out his wallet and began shuffling in it until he pulled out multiple large bills and handed them to Killua. A moment later, they were all splashed with cold water as Gon cannonballed into a deeper part of the creek. Kurapika was not to be distracted, however.

He marched over to the pair of them indignantly. "What. Exactly. Is. Going. On."

They both gave him guilty looks. Gon, resurfacing, shouted out merrily, "They made a bet as to whether or not you were a girl, Kurapika." Then he redove, leaving the two culprits to bear the brunt of Kurapika's justifiable anger.

He was not as tall as Leorio, even now, but still the older man cowered as the blond loomed over him and grabbed him by his lapels. "You. Bet I was FEMALE?" The last word was a very angry shout which probably scared away the curious variety of cross-breed animals which were watching from the forest..

"Er...don't be mad...Pika-chan...I mean, Kurapika..." His protests were cut off abruptly as the pissed Kuruta tossed him bodily into the water. Still standing there, Killua began chuckling.

"Your face is almost as red as your eyes right now," he said riskily, and then made a running leap into the stream before he could be tossed in, too.

.

Contentedness...is an unworthy combination of letters for that emotion. Uncertainty...doesn't begin to describe how he was feeling. Sound is a funny thing; why is it that music, the most emotionally accurate medium of expressing feelings, is not distinct enough to communicate fully, while the most grotesque method, being speech, is direct but only in such an unnatural, second-hand way?

The heartbeat alone never lies, and the only person who could ever hear it was gone.

Perhaps both words are more easily sought by the sound of the wind. Right now, as it grazed over the tops of the trees and swooped down into the long grass, danced with the wind-chime and painted slow, whispy swirls of clouds in the dying amaranth sky, Kurapika licked his lips to more accurately feel its movement sensitively. The wind brushed over them, and he closed his eyes, his heart giving a painful burst as the memory of Akatsuki's kiss returned in full force.

Grief...is, at least, a word that sounds like its meaning.

But not now. Not now, not around these three.

He allowed himself a tight-lipped smile. It was the most at peace he'd felt in a long time. Peace from his past, peace from Kuroro's nen. And he knew it was the result of the that kid with the black spiky hair.

"Say, Leorio, how did you get that lump on your head?" came Gon's voice from where he lay in the grass next to the doctor.

Leorio grumbled a bit from his own reclined position. "That's because I hit it on a rock when SOMEBODY threw me into the creek."

"It's your own fault, Ojii-san," came Killua's words from somewhere up in the tree next to them.

Leaning against the crook of the tree, Kurapika ignored them all and continued reading. Presently, he looked up and frowned. "Gon...Leorio...where are you guys going?"

"Back to the house!" Gon waved cheerfully from where he was, already halfway across the field, Leorio puffing from trying to keep up and Killua alighting from his perch. "We'll be right back, okay?"

"Wait! Let me come...with you..." His voice trailed off as he realized they had already gone on ahead. He sighed and stood up. Always leaving behind...always being left behind...He started to walk in the direction of the house.

Suddenly, a bad apprehension stirred inside him. He began walking faster, and then broke out into a sprint.

"Gon, Killua...Gon, wait, WAIT!"

No...I know this feeling...this sensation...

He rushed into the house, leaving the door swinging open behind him. "GON!"

Not here...no...not in the kitchen, not upstairs...

He should have known...they were here...he didn't know how but...

He rushed back to the door and peered out, sweat forming beads on his forehead.

"Looking for someone?"

The voice made him pause before turning around.

.

"There's no mistake?"

Shalnark eyed the three warily, from where they were in the prison of Valentyna's nen-field, struggling to get free but not able to attack her, espeically as she continually shoved them back against the "walls" with her emission bursts.

He looked over at Coltopi, and they both nodded. Though older, they were definitely those people from York Shin, long ago.

"It's them. Good work," he said to Demisse, who stood there with the serious, pained look that he'd worn since Akatsuki's death.

Leorio couldn't remember what had happened. One moment, they'd been in Gon's house, the next they'd found themselves here, in this low-lit cave, wherever it was. It couldn't have been a teleportation, technique, could it?

He had brief memories flickering of being carried, by this tall African man, but none of it seemed to make sense.

"Gon, stop," he said, quietly, putting a hand on Gon's shoulder as he was forced back yet again, yet determined to get back. It was clear from the very situation that these people were targeting Kurapika, and furthermore, that Gon recognized a couple of them. Vaguely, he thought that the short, green-haired guy looked familiar, and of course, Kalluto and Illumi, but he didn't recognize any of the rest.

Gon, for his part, had realized immediately from seeing the young man with the large eyes and brown hair, as well as a couple of the others, exactly who these people were, and could only guess, from the absence of most of the others, what Kurapika had been up to the past five years. He grimaced against Leorio's grasp, but ceased his actions.

It's the same as last time...they know his weakness, and they're targeting it.

Killua, on the other hand, had not for an instant since the moment he'd found himself here, moved his unblinking gaze from Illumi and Kalluto.

What...are they doing here?

Illumi's eyes, black depths, meeting his, were whispering cold, villanous thoughts. You are an assassin. Do not forget who you are.

His eyes shifted over momentarily over to the woman guarding Killua.

You could kill her, you know. You realize how easy that would be for you, no? You could save all of you right here, right now.

No. No, I can't think that way. To kill, even a member of the Genei Ryodan, I won't do it.

You are stubborn.

I have faith in Kurapika.

Faith in friends is useless.

Puzzles the will...

Killua broke the gaze and faced Gon, who was still shaking from anger and anticipation where he stood, next to Leorio.

Gon has never failed me. Therefore, I will continue to have faith.

.

"What are you doing here."

Hisoka smiled thinly as he nonchallantly leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen. "I heard some interesting things about you," he said.

Kurapika's eyes narrowed. He knew exactly what he was talking about. "What are you talking about."

Hisoka gave his wrist a swift flicker, and a card appeared. An ace of spades. "You know what I mean. Although I admit, I never expected to fight you with his skills. This should be interesting." He gave an evil smile and threw the card.

This is boring, thought Kurapika, deflecting the card with only a movement of his hand, which Hisoka had obviously already faced before with Kuroro, judging from his expression. When Hisoka released a whirlwind of cards, his only thought, as he burned them up with Taiyou no Ryu, was that Mito-san wouldn't be terribly happy to have her house destroyed when she came back.

He lured the magician back outdoors and materialized his chains, not having bothered before. Chain Jail began to dance. Hisoka eyed it easily and let it wrap around him with a smirk. "Do you really think I actually rejoined the Spiders, Kuruta?" He grinned evilly, thinking to trap the Kuruta with his own condition.

Kurapika gave a little wry smile as he held the chain firm. He was right, after all; if he hadn't been sure, he wouldn't have taken the risk of dying like this.

"It's not a tattoo that makes a Spider," he said, as the magician finally realized the vanity of the situation, his expression falling, but not into fear.

"I see," he murmured, watching as Kurapika approached while holding the chain firm, simultaneously materializing the Judgment Chain. "Hm, now what are you doing with that?"

"Making a deal."

"What is that?"

Kurapika drew his hand back, letting the chain gracefully arc back, and then threw it into Hisoka's heart. The magician barely flinched as it entered.

"Two things: One, you cannot harm Gon, Killua or Leorio."

"But not yourself...?"

"Two, you have to come help me bring them back. Are we agreed?"

Hisoka smirked.

"As though I have a choice in the matter."

"Good." Kurapika let the chain attaching the dagger in the other man's chest to his hand disappear, and then released the Chain Jail. He dropped the Dowsing Chain and observed its movement north.

"Let's go."

**Author's Notes: **This part of the story is assuming that after the Chimera arc, Gon and Killua pretty much continue as they are, looking for Ging, etc.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

**Music Suggestions: **Why by Krypteria and Turn Back Time by Aqua

Any moment now...

Any moment now, and Kurapika would come to save them.

Any moment now, and they would get their revenge on Tenno.

Any moment now, and their quest would be complete.

Killua could not tear his eyes from Illumi, even though he wanted to. Even though he'd long ago torn out the pin his brother had planted there, he still heard his words, as though they were spoken aloud.

Younger brother. Your destiny was chosen long ago. There is nothing you can do against it.

That is a lie.

Think back, Killua. Think back on all the people you have murdered. And for what? For money. You are a paid assassin, you always will be.

Killua gritted his teeth, the words continuing heavily in his head. He could not be rid of them...! They were steeping his soul...against his will.

His eyes slowly started turning black in the muted darkness of the cave; if Gon and Leorio had been watching, they would immediately have done something.

But they were distracted. Gon could not believe his ears.

"Kurapika did...what?" he asked Shalnark.

"He's telling the truth," Coltopi said with a smirk in his voice. "Your friend has been the Head of the Spiders for almost a year now, stealing, murdering, destroying with the rest of us. He even murdered one of us in cold blood."

"I...don't believe it. Kurapika would never do something like that! Never!"

"They're telling the truth, kid," Valentyna said quietly from where she still held them captive, voice steady; but Gon detected the smallest glimmer of a tear in her eye.

Gon was very astute, if to nothing else, to the emotions of other people around him.

"You were his friend," he said in disbelief. She cast him a sideways look.

"Yes, and he betrayed us. Me included."

"Kurapika is different from you guys. No matter how much hatred he has for the enemy, he won't recklessly kill them being swayed by his emotions." That's what Gon had thought. But this wasn't Kurapika. Rebuilding the group he'd hated, relentlessly killing and destroying, even innocent people...no! This could not be Kurapika.

Meanwhile, at these words, the dam that held Killua back burst painfully.

Traitor...even friends...betray...

Yes, that's right, Killua, said Illumi's voice in his head. Kurapika, just like anyone, betrays his friends.

No...I can't think that way...no, please...ARGGGGHHH!

Gon turned his head back to the Ukranian wrestler as he heard her suddenly gasp out in pain. His eyes widened, and Leorio's started to practically bulge out of his head when they saw it.

Killua's bloody hand, stuck through the middle of Valentyna's chest.

As he withdrew it and she fell, releasing the three of them from her nen-cage, two things happened simultaneously.

Killua disappeared as if in wind, along with Illumi and Kalluto, and Kurapika and Hisoka suddenly appeared from the entrance of the cave, catching the woman as she fell, staggering under her weight.

Seeing Gon and Leorio freed, Bergron materialized a dagger of water from the little stream running through the cave, and charged toward them. Hisoka jumped in front of him, creating a barrier of razor-sharp cards as to be impassible, and shallowly wounded his arm so that the water manipulator was forced to retreat. Before Demisse could even react, Hisoka pinned him to the wall and held a card to his throat.

Gon and Leorio, meanwhile, were evading the flying shuriken of Kanzo surprisingly easy; or perhaps, not so surprisingly for Gon, who had been through enough adventures by now that physical attacks were a bit of a joke.

"Enough!" Shalnark's urgent command made all of them stop. He was keenly watching the Kuruta.

Gon took a step in the direction that Killua had disappeared, but Leorio held him back. "What...what happened...?" he asked.

Behind them, Kurapika was quickly healing Valentyna with a determined look on his face. As soon as he was finished, Valentyna stepped back, still distrustful, into the wall of Spiders behind.

To all of their surprise, the chains on Kurapika's right hand disappeared, and he stood in a vulnerable position, fully facing them, resolute.

"Hisoka, take Gon and Leorio with you."

Gon's eyes widened in shock, and he took a step nearer, but Kurapika used his emission skills, albeit much weaker than Valentyna's, to blast the teen backwards. At that, Gon started to panic. "Kurapika! Why aren't you coming?"

"I'm staying with them," he answered, turning his face away so Gon couldn't see the sudden pained expression that crossed his face. Behind, Coltopi gave a strangled laugh.

"What, you really think we're going to take you back, as our leader?"

"I'm offering you my life," he said simply. "To pay for what I did to Shizuku." He looked over at Demisse, and an understanding look passed between them. "And because I took Akatsuki's."

He bowed his head and waited. It was the binding of Prometheus; they would not kill him quickly, he was sure of it; it would torturous and slow...after all, he deserved it, didn't he? He did not regret dying this way.

Tis a consummation/ Devoutly to be wished.

A second later, darkness ushered him into her arms.

.

"Gon! You hit him too hard! What if he never wakes up?"

"He'll be fine! He has to be!"

"He just had to take away my fun."

"What are you talking about, Hisoka?"

"Here I was hoping for a spectacular, bad-ass battle, Tenno vs. The Spiders, and he had to go and solve it that way."

"Nevermind that. Leorio, how is he doing?"

(snort) "How do would you feel if you hit yourself over the head?"

(Here Gon tries to figure out how that would work. Leorio ignores him and continues.)

"Wasn't there a better method?"

"You know he wouldn't have just come with us. I had to...Ah! Kurapika!"

His weary eyelids lifted, squinching shut again immediately afterward from the bright light. His head felt like he'd been hit by a wrecking ball...with spikes.

He reopened his eyes and stared into the large brown eyes of Gon. "What happened?"

Why am I not...dead? Again...

"Simply put, Gon knocked you out and carried you here," Leorio summed up quickly. Kurapika's eyes shifted to look at him, then over to the corner of the room where Hisoka sat, grinning.

"Where...?"

"We're back at Mito-san's."

His eyes began to focus, and he saw that he was indeed back in his room.

He frowned. "But...the Spiders...they'll know..."

"It doesn't matter. Even after I knocked you out, they had no intention of attacking."

"What...why?"

Gon shrugged. Hisoka spoke up.

"Because there's no point in attacking a dead dog," he told them. "At least, that's always been the opinion of the Spiders while Kuroro was in charge."

It's not fair...I deserve...to die...

Kuroro's nen stirred destructively inside him, and his eyes turned fiery red.

Without warning, he materialized the Judgment Chain and targeted himself. As soon as Leorio saw what he was doing, he grabbed the flying chain, holding onto it though it jerked like a living thing, trying to get to Kurapika's heart.

He hissed and materialized the Chain Jail, throwing it to wrap around Leorio, meaning to activate the chain-dagger already installed. In an instant, Hisoka took Leorio's place so that he was chained, instead.

Gon's words pulled him out of his reckless state. "Kurapika. We won't allow you to die." Gon's eyes showed worry, but also anger. "Because you have explaining to do."

"And we have to get back Killua," Leorio added.

Calming himself to the tune of Gon's voice while dematerialising his chains, forcing the impulses of the poisoned nen away, he sat up in the bed and faced them.

"All right," he said. "I'll start from the beginning."

.

The words came out dully, at first. He told them about destroying the Dark Sonata. He told them about collecting the eyes with Senritsu.

Here he paused, shutting his eyes as the last scene with her seared against his memory, like the stench of a hot iron against naked flesh.

He had left her behind that day; she'd been complaining of feeling ill, so he'd gone out alone that evening. It was a simple mission; merely an exchange, really: an extremely valuable treasure for the Eyes.

It was the last pair. Tomorrow, they planned to go return the entire collection to his village.

He'd known something was wrong the moment he'd stood outside the apartment building. When he got inside...the door had been ripped off its hinges...He called out her name...he listened to his own voice returning back to him in the empty air of the apartment...

He ran into the bedroom...she was lying next to the bed, blood streaming out from multiple places in her body...they had not been kind, none of the bullet wounds were meant to kill immediately, but the quantity was intended to kill eventually. Her eyes were closed, but she was still breathing...

He'd hopelessly tried to heal her with his Holy Chain, knowing but hoping, praying...It was useless...he watched as her lips formed his name, for the last time...

He was dull inside...there was no pain after that last moment...he was numb, completely numb...and there was no emotion, because he was so broken that he could not mourn...and the only thought that could cross his mind was: that Kuroro was responsible, he was the only one who knew of her and he must have guessed the situation; that person must pay, in the most painful way...

He told them about Kuroro, and their last battle. He told them of the reforming of the Spiders, about meeting Akatsuki, about the tragedy...

And here, at last, he could feel pain, because the scab had not closed completely, being too recent...it was invading his very being, it was a black, black black cloud full of swirling emotions, and it struck him, like Kuroro had been struck by that silver watch in his final moments...

That silver watch had come with the strictest condition of them all, and now it welled up and pierced him deeper than the heart, to the marrow, to the soul.

The true depth of what he had done, to the Spiders, to Kuroro, to all of the people after that, and up to Akatsuki...they all suddenly gripped him in profound pain.

Words...these sorts of things are useless. Dead as dry marrow, like the skull of a deer in a desert; overused like jello vomited on a hospital tray and lapped up again.

Music, maybe, would convey but...

Images, perhaps.

A broken wine glass.

A butterfly, emerging from a cocoon.

The last geese flying south.

A torn love-letter.

A wingless airplane. A piece of grass. An eyeless doll.

A moss-eaten gravestone, a shattered stained glass window, a still born baby a rainless summer a postwar ...

And finally the floodgates burst.

And finally he was freed.

.

It was literally hours later when Kurapika, utterly exhausted from the sheer vehemence of his tortured soul crying out physically for the first time in almost three years, dropped off to sleep.

"You've finally let go," Kuroro commented as Kurapika passed directly from one door to the next.

Kurapika gave him the first genuine smile he'd ever shown him.

.

"Are you okay, now?"

Kurapika looked up at Leorio wearily from where he was coiled up, still in bed, hugging his knees to his chest.

"I suppose, if you can call feeling like your soul's been ripped in pieces and you were the one with the scissors okay, then I'm okay." He sighed.

Leorio hesitated before sitting down in a chair next to him, and tossed a piece of fruit at him, which he caught. "Gon said that's from the best tree on the island." He paused. "Seriously, I have to ask: Why?"

"Didn't I already tell you?" Kurapika asked, annoyed. "Look, first my entire clan was killed off for the sake of some cheap treasure hunters, then Senritsu died before my eyes, Kuroro's nen started to poison me after I killed him..."

"That's not a good reason. Ultimately, you can blame others all you want, but it's your own fault that you reacted in the way you did, reforming the Genei Ryodan, taking out your revenge on innocent people in the name of justice; all this is merely an excuse not to have to let go of your pride."

Leorio stopped, partly because he was out of breath from standing on his soap box too long, and partly because Kurapika had dropped his head between his knees and begun weeping again. His expression softened and he put a hand firmly on the other's shoulder.

"I'm sorry...I was too harsh..."

"No...no...you're right...but all that I've done...up til now...it can't be changed...people are still dead because of me..."

Akatsuki is still dead, and I killed her with my own hands.

He lifted his face at last and shot a haunted look into Leorio's eyes which pierced the other's heart until he flinched, but did not look away.

"How can I continue now?" he whispered meditatively. "My best energies have been given to the undertaker's art. Do I have the right to laugh, after what I've done? Do I have the right to enjoy myself, if she is gone?"

He turned over the fuzzy fruit numbly in his hands.

"Do I dare to eat a peach?"

"Are any of these thoughts going to help us get Killua back?" Leorio was beginning to get annoyed at Kurapika's self-centered thought-processes. He stood up and looked to the door, where Gon was standing, arms crossed as he leaned against the frame. Kurapika didn't want to think about where Hisoka was; probably tormenting the life out of Mito-san, although he could see her decking him when she got annoyed at that creepy smile of his.

Leorio suddenly grumbled, "For all you're so intelligent, you sure can be a dummy sometimes."

"Why do you say that," Kurapika said tonelessly.

"Because you never let go! All this time, you bottled up your emotions, refusing to grieve, and everyone knows that that sort of thing is just going to end up in disaster in the end when you finally do blow up." He shook his head. "You know, if you'd just let go back then, none of this would have happened..."

"Leorio." They both looked back up at Gon, astonished. He began walking towards them with the most serious expression they'd ever seen from him. When he was just inches away from Leorio, his mouth tightened for a minute, and then he belted out, "How can you say that kind of thing! How can you make it worse on him, right now! Mourning...isn't something that you can control; if you try to force it too early, it's worse than if you hold it in." He turned his eyes to Kurapika. "It has to come at the right time. If you don't...it isn't for the sake of others, it's for yourself. So that's why, everything has to happen at the proper time."

Then he faced Leorio again. "But you said at least one thing right." He took a deep breath. "We have to get Killua back."

The blond and the brunette nodded in unison.

Yes, that was the first order of business.

.

"Shouldn't you be planning with your friends until the wee smas of the morning?"

Kurapika smiled again as he looked over at Kuroro. "Gon's motto seems to be 'Act while you can and think after you already know what the consequences are'," he told him. "In other words, he's pretty headstrong where that's concerned. But it's okay," he added. "I trust him."

"Trust..." Kuroro pondered, hand over mouth. "I never believed in trust, myself. Except in my ability to command and knowledge that I could 'correct' whoever went against me."

"It's a nice feeling. You should try it sometime."

"Sounds fun. Next time I'm not dead, I'll try it."

Kurapika stopped short from where he was walking across the room, swinging his hands freely. "Of...of course," he stammered, dizzily wondering when he had come to regard Kuroro as not dead, in his mind. At times he was more like an annoying pick-a-back friend. Dead...that was a final sort of word.

"How do you feel?" Kuroro asked him, watching the expressions change on his face.

"Pretty good. Emotionally, something in me really let up after talking to Gon and Leorio. I feel like I can control myself better."

"Hm..." Kuroro's expression took on "grim" to such an extent that Kurapika frowned and moved closer to where the other man stood.

"What about physically?"

"Physically...I feel like shit."

Kuroro snorted with laughter. "That's a...descriptive way of putting it."

"Yeah." Sigh. "Actually, I feel...I don't know how to put it..."

"Poisoned?"

"On a massive, radioactive scale."

Kuroro closed his eyes. "You know what's happening. My nen is turning against your body, now, instead of your mind. I'm sorry, but I can't stop it."

Kurapika's eyes widened, not at the revelation, which he'd already guessed, but at the grave look in the other man's face.

"What do you mean."

"You have approximately a month left, maybe a little more depending on how often you sleep."

Kurapika physically paled. Kuroro met his frozen features. Then the Kuruta took a deep breath.

"Well, then," he said, and set his face resolutely.

**Author's Notes: **Ack! I'm sorry, my characters really started to get out of control, particularly Kura. I try to avoid suicidalness like the plague, but it was absolutely necessary, so...please accept my apologies, onegaishimasu!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**Music Suggestion: ** Sparkle and Rule by Ayumi Hamasaki

"What's it like to die?"

"I suppose it depends on which way you die. For me, it was something along the lines of, 'Oh, I'm flooded with such happy thoughts...hehehe...that tickles...'."

"Oh, hilarious."

"I know, aren't I?"

"Please be serious."

"Why?"

"I want to know how to prepare for it. What am I supposed to do? I did nothing; my entire life was spent on selfish pursuits, and now it's going to end without honor, deprived of the fame of accomplishments..."

"'"But not the praise," Phoebos replied, and touched my trembling ears. "Fame is no plant that grows on mortal soil, nor in the glistering foil, set off to the world..."'"

"'"Nor yet where broad rumor lies, But lives, and is spread aloft..."' Blah blah blah, don't you know anything but teasing the wrung-out ends of other people's genius?"

"What? Words are, and always will be, and no matter what you've said has been said better before. Why not borrow from the past?"

"Because it carries the inherent meaning of lines of learning and all the thought-processes that have lead up to it. Not infrequently books speak of books: it is as if they speak among themselves. Not everyone has read Milton, you know."

"You have, obviously."

"...It doesn't matter, for pity's sake, please be considerate to the readers."

(Here the authoress coughs loudly inside her head. "Can we get back to the story and stop commenting on our own self-critiques?" "Why exactly are you talking in first person plural? What are you, schizo?" "Well, you're the one talking to me." "...True..." "Who the hell was that?" "We're getting nowhere. This is a very serious topic, and climax of the story. Can we stop mucking it up, please?")

Kuroro pondered for a minute. "Death...I wonder, after all? I mean, I haven't yet passed on; I'm still here, clinging to another person's soul, feeding off his emotions and energy."

"But you've passed out of existence."

"Physically, yes. But mentally...I admit, it's frightening, even to me. Oblivion...what do you do with that concept? To simply...cease to exist." He frowned a little. "It makes you wonder, doesn't it? What's the point of garnering respect and admiration if you're only famous after you're dead, and then you can't even enjoy it?"

"Who's to say that all there is afterward is just oblivion?"

"The opposite is even more frightening."

"I suppose, to someone like you, it must be."

Kuroro gave him a sideways look. "Hell, you mean."

"Yes."

He gave him a wicked grin. "You're coming right down with me, you know."

"Who's to say?"

"True." Kuroro looked up at the non-existent ceiling, thoughtfully. "In all the thoughts, all the musings of genius minds, the vehement arguments of every religion which is absolutely convinced that they're right...and yet, no one can actually say for certain."

"Who would fardels bear,

To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death..."

"Who's borrowing from the past now?"

Kurapika sighed and watched the blue door swing open. "After all, is the past all I have left?"

.

Killua could not think. It was like trying to swim through lead fillings. Somewhere, vaguely, in the back of his mind, he was aware of existing, of moving, but all that was seeming to wash away like sand after a wave.

He was a machine, manufactured and fine-tuned for killing. Illumi considered as he watched his younger brother, next to him as they stood before Silva. Triggering him had taken a little more effort, but fortunately, his friends had obligingly helped out. Destroying that little bit of belief that Killua had was all that was needed to bring him under his control.

For his part, Silva was a little displeased at the expression, or lack thereof, on his second youngest son's face. It was as if he had become as dead as the people he had targeted. He knew Illumi had his own ideas about how Killua should progress, but they had always disagreed on that point. As for himself and Zeno, they had always maintained the human sense of interest, rather than blind enjoyment of killing; that mechanic side of his sons must have been breed from his black-eyed wife's side of the family.

"Illumi. Where is Kalluto?" he asked, still staring into Killua's dead-black eyes.

"He's with grandfather, Father. They've left for the next assassination," Illumi answered, expressionless as ever. Silva nodded. "That's good. Kalluto still has a lot to learn. He's more like Zeno than any of you." He finally broke his gaze from Killua, though Killua's face never changed. "Killua...I thought you were most like me. But that..."

He sighed slightly, looking back at Illumi.

"Father."

They both looked over at Killua, having spoken for the first time since he'd left Gon and Leorio in the cave with the Spiders.

Killua took a step forward and locked his eyes on his father's silver-green eyes with such intensity that Illumi actually backed off and Silva frowned.

Killua Zoaldadyk flexed his hand, letting the claws stretch into existence, and smirked. "Father. Do you want to see how similar to you I really am?"

Illumi put a restraining hand on Killua's shoulder. Instantly, the clawed hand drew a long straight line across his neck, severing the artery so that Illumi stumbled backwards, spurting blood and covering the wound so that he wouldn't die immediately from blood loss.  
Killua...you became this strong, even without my help...I'm so pleased, and yet...

Silva, meanwhile, stepped down from the gold-cushioned seat he was sitting at into a serious fighting stance for the first time since he and Zeno had fought Kuroro.

"All right, son. Lets see what you've got."

.

The Gate of Trial had changed as little as the circumstances since the last time the three of them had been there, six years ago.

There was nobody "guarding" the gate today, to Gon's disappointment. He had wanted to see Zeppallu again, but it seemed that the aging servant was inside. Or maybe he had been dismissed...? Either way, the gate made a lonely sound as Gon determinedly placed his hands on either side and pushed the enormous door open.

"It seems a lot lighter now," he commented, as Leorio and Kurapika followed before the gate could close up. Kurapika surpressed a smile, thinking that Gon really wasn't aware of just how much stronger he was now than he had been back then.

Where had Hisoka gone, anyway? It was unlikely he'd gone back to the Spiders, but neither was he with them. Kurapika had to groan a little at his own shortsightedness. He had told Hisoka to help him come rescue Gon, Killua and Leorio, without designating that he should help save any one individually. Perhaps he'd just left with the wind. In any case, despite being chained against attacking his friends, Kurapika strongly doubted it was the last they'd see of him.

Heavy breathing followed them from behind, alerting them to the wary but respectful presence of Mike behind them. Leorio nervously kept looking back over his shoulder, looking for the lurking beast, but Gon's face was resolutely set straight forward.

"Killua..." he muttered quietly. "Why did you leave like that? It doesn't matter, after all. Hasn't this happened once before? I will surely bring you back!"

Kurapika smiled wistfully. "It might be more difficult this time, Gon," he said under his breath, considering his own situation. "You might not even recognize the Killua you see in here."

It is so easy to let emotion override logic. So easy...for it to overcome your senses, to fall into the seductive trap of evil, once suggestion has developed into reality.

Gon turned, hearing his quiet words, and gave him a look. "No matter what, Killua is Killua. I know Killua. Therefore, we will succeed."

Kurapika nodded a little.

Yes, Gon. If you can restore me, the haunted being twisted by revenge and pain that I am, you can bring back Killua, too.

Leorio, a couple of steps behind, sighed loudly. "I don't remember this walk being so long! Are we ever going to get there? Why would anyone need so much land, anyway? I swear, when we reach the servants' headquarters, I'm just going to stay there and wait for you two to come back with Killua..."

Kurapika suddenly let a spontaneous laugh out, letting it float in the fresh air of the forest around them. It lifted his spirits and relieved a little of the pressured pain that was invading his body.

Gon's voice joined his in laughter and, just for a moment, the atmosphere of dark Kukuru mountain lightened a little.

Despite the battle that was going on inside.

.

(AN: Personally, I recommend just skipping this particular scene. Summary: this is the "Killua pwns us all" section. He kills his father, mother, Milluki, blows up the whole joint and then, still in assassin mode, goes to seek out the rest.)

The strike came at faster-than-lightening speed, so that Silva, even despite his superhuman reflexes, just barely moved out of the way. He countered and used nen to extend his own range of attack, throwing a kick at Killua, who took the blow fully to the side.

Then Silva gave a grunt as thousands of volts of electricity flowed through his system. Killua was still latched onto his leg, not hurt in the slightest, passing the volts into him. Even with Silva's training, the volts stopped him where he stood.

He lashed out at his son, who leaped back easily to avoid the deadly slash and countered by swinging...a yoyo?

He ducked, knowing that of course it wasn't an ordinary yoyo, but Killua was expecting the move and uppercut with his claws at his father's chin. Silva winced a little as the blow struck home and backed off, noting the trickle of blood that came from his throat.

"Your claws are sharp enough even to pierce my skin? Exactly what kind of training have you been going through?"

Killua did not respond.

At that moment, Kikyou and Milluki, having heard the noise, foolishly rushed into the room. Kikyou started her obnoxious high-pitched whining through her bandaged face.

"Killuaaaa...why are you doing this? Why are you fighting your father?" Then she caught sight of Illumi on the ground, blood-soaked bandages around his throat, and rushed over to him.

"Killu, how could you? Attacking your own brother like this..."

"Shut up."

She gasped, looking up at the impassive face which glared at her.

"Killu, how could you say that to me, your own mother? You..."

They were the last words she ever said. Killua, seemingly transported over by his sheer speed, took off her head without a hint of remorse. Then he stepped, slowly, towards Milluki.

"How about you? You want some?"

Silva, though a little perturbed at the sudden, bloody death of his wife, stepped in between the two.

Killua smirked. "What? Do you actually think being in between us is going to stop me? Baka."

Resolute, Silva did not move. "I am still your father."

"But I have surpassed you."

In the next heartbeat, Silva realized he had none. Killua had been playing with him before; now he was on the other side of him, his speed exceeding ten-fold what he had shown him earlier.

It barely registered to him when Killua punched Milluki in the face, the pumping heart still in his hand, so that it mixed with the oozing brains that shot out of the pressure of Milluki's skull.

He didn't even bother to come back for Illumi. What was the point?

Silva fell, unbleeding, while Killua disappeared. Minutes later, the entire steel-boned structure exploded from underground.

Yes, they had created a perfect killing machine.

But that sort of creation is paid for in blood.

.

Gon's brown eyes widened hugely as the blast shattered the air around them, lighting up the night sky, and casting shrapnel around them.

Leorio started forward in shock, though Kurapika pulled him aside behind a tree, to avoid the smaller bits of debrie that might wound like bullets. "Baka," he muttered to the older man, "are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"Who are you to talk?" Leorio shot back.

"Clean hit."

"Oh, the irony."

Before the dust had even begun to settle, the three of them burst out of hiding and began sprinting toward the now burning remains of the Zoaldadyk family mansion.

None of them noticed the silver streak that appeared out of the dust until it had already dove toward Leorio and placed a mortal slash at his head. Gon, glimpsing out of the corner of his eye at the last moment, shoved the doctor to the side, but the blow still created a gaping wound on Leorio's skull. He and the silver monster fell to the ground, flailing.

"Killua!" Gon and Kurapika cried out at the same time, and dashed to the assassin's side, their speed only slightly slower than his, each grabbing one of his arms to pull him away from Leorio, bathed in blood where he lay unconcious on the ground.

"Let...me...go..." Killua gritted out. In his head were droning Illumi's last words: Kill kill kill. Despite the fact that both Gon and Kurapika were using their Reinforcement skills, he was slowly pulling out of their grasp.

"Gah..." Kurapika gasped as Killua's right hand slipped from his, striking towards Leorio's heart. Swiftly, he dove between, flinching as the clawed hand tore through his right side, splintering his ribs and piercing straight through so that it also touched Leorio under him, though not deeply enough to kill him.

"Killua!" Gon tackled the white-haired boy, wrestling with him until he was pinning him to the ground. Killua hissed and wriggled underneath, but this time Gon was using his full-out strength in the upper-hand position.

"Killua, listen to me. This isn't you, can't you understand that? Look! It's me! You know me! I know you. Killua, please," the last word ending in a little sob. "Come back to us? I can't stand losing you...as my best friend..."

Killua's eyes flickered green, then back to black. "Friends betray," he said lowly, coldly, casting his gaze over at Kurapika, still draped over the shallowly-breathing body of Leorio. Then his expression changed as Kurapika gritted his teeth and painfully sat up. "Kurapika. You...I thought..."

The blond looked up at him from where he knelt over Leorio, his vision blurring even as he shakily held out Kuroro's black book and began healing Leorio with Akatsuki's power.

Killua looked back up at Gon, who nodded.

"Mistakes are made, Killua. Bad things happen, and, yes, friends betray. But that is why it is much, much more important to know how to forgive."

It was a sign of how many experiences Killua and Gon had shared that even with those simple words Killua's eyes immediately changed back to green, and he gasped suddenly, coming back to his real self. Gon relaxed his grip on his friend's shoulders, and the two of them sat up.

Killua gulped, his eyebrows quivering as he looked over at the two older men. Leorio's eyes opened as Kurapika finished healing him and, with the last of his strength, took out his Holy Chain to heal his own injuries. "Leorio...are you okay?"

Leorio gave a somewhat forced smile, despite the blood that was splattered all over himself and on the ground, to say nothing of the blond. "All right!" he said with his normal energy.

Killua's gaze shifted to look over at Kurapika, healed but shaking. "Kurapi..." He started up with a gasp as the Kuruta gave him a pained, hopeless look, and then, succumbing to the exhaustion of healing Leorio, plus the effect that Kuroro's nen was having on his weakening body, closed his eyes with a shudder and collapsed. The doctor caught him where he sat and felt his heartbeat along his neck.

"Weak," he muttered, and desperately looked over at Killua.

"I don't know the particulars, but we need to get him to a hospital immediately. Do you have an airship?"

Killua looked back at the smouldering remains of the main house regretfully. "No...not anymore."

Leorio sighed.

"Then all we can do is hope he holds on until then."

**Author's Notes: ** Yeah, in case you can't tell, this is the last chapter I wrote chronologically, and I was starting to get a little antsy, wanting to finish up quickly. Therefore: cheeky author's notes in the middle and bad dialogue and action, not to mention taking liberties with the whole, "Gon and Killua have a long past history and so we're going to skip over why exactly Killua comes back to them so quickly despite just having brutally murdered his family." Cheap author's trick . Sorry about that. The next two chapters are better...I think. Oh, and yes, I do know the difference between schizophrenia and MPD. I'm not that ignorant.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

**Music Suggestion: ** Hana Kagari by Yumi Shizukusa

"It's not fair."

Kurapika looked up from the window he was gazing out of and turned with a look of wide-open surprise. "What's not fair?"

Senritsu, standing next to him as tall as she could, pouted. "Boys grow like weeds. You've already grown three inches since we destroyed the Dark Sonata."

He laughed a little as he placed his hands around her slim waist and lifted her up bodily so that she was eye to eye with him. She giggled a little and supported herself by wrapping her arms around her neck.

"I like you the way you are," he whispered, gently touching his nose against hers. She closed her eyes, breathing in his masculine scent, combined with the cologne she'd bought him last week. Then he set her down, though she did not withdraw her arms from his neck, so that he had to bend down. "Besides," he added, "physically you're still only 17, right?"

She snorted. "Unlike boys, girls stop growing when they're 14 or 15."

He laughed, the full, delighted laugh that Senritsu loved to evoke, as he gently put her arms away from him and turned to walk into the small apartment kitchen. "I don't care, anyway," he said, "but I am glad to have put on a couple of inches, myself. It gets really tiring, being mistaken for a girl."

She snorted again. "That, Kurapika Kuruta, is the stupidest thing anyone could say about you."

He rummaged around in the cupboards with a grin. "Hey, just because you've confirmed it..."

She blushed a little, coming to join him. "Do we have any fruit?" she asked, opening up the refrigerator door. He shrugged. "I don't remember."

She gave him a little swat, and he jumped, still not used to it. "You should start eating healthier. You're such a guy."

"Um...yeah?"

She closed the door a little more forcefully than necessary and grabbed his wrist, using a little nen to pull him along with her. Surprised, he didn't try to pull away, but instead asked, "What...where are we going?"

"To the market. And while we're at it," eying him in his blue-and-orange outfit, "I'm going to buy you some T-shirts and jeans."

.

Bright, florescent lights overhead clashed with the swirling, colorful dresses on the hardwood floor. The room was heady with music and body heat; loud voices and laughter competed with the music and other voices until eventually everyone just laughed at whatever anyone said, unable to hear at all.

"C'mon!" Senritsu, laughing as much as anyone, tugged on Kurapika's tailored jacket, attempting, though not succeeding, in inducing him to join her. He cringed and shifted uncomfortably.

"I already told you, I don't dance."

"Meaning, you physically can't, having lost both your legs to a war, plus your complete sense of rhythm, or meaning you just never have before?"

"...You know what I mean."

She tugged harder, wide smile still spreading over her face. "Don't tell me that Kurapika, dread black-list Hunter, is afraid to try a new experience."

He yielded at last as she struck his weak point, his pride, with pin-point accuracy. "Well...fine, but just once, and it has to be a fast dance, okay?"

She grinned. "Okay. For now." She grabbed his hands and put one on her own waist, while she placed her opposite hand on his shoulder and held his other hand tight in hers. "Okay, ready? Just try shifting your weight from one side to the other. Now with a little more motion..."

As he finally got into it, he found himself smiling, eyes sparkling down at her, adrenhaline running excitedly through his veins. He was not a bad dancer, even for never having tried before. In the back of his mind, fond memories stirred, of watching folk-dances with people in swirling blue and orange.

The song ended, and they stood there clapping with everyone else for the band. He found himself gazing down at her, newly aware of how pretty she was when her cheeks flushed from the exertion, light brown hair caught up into a bunch of curls like a bouquet on top of her head. Her lavender dress was simple, with spaghetti straps, but layers of ivory lace graced the sweetheart neckline and swirled around the bottom of the full skirt.

He closed his eyes tightly, taking a mental picture of her like that. When he reopened them, she was innocently trotting back over to the chair-lined sides of the dance floor.

"Senritsu, what...?" he asked with a little frown, coming over as she flounced into a chair.

"Why, I thought you said you didn't want any more than one dance, Kurapika," she said cheekily.

"Hey, if he won't dance with you, I will," came a voice next to him. He narrowed his eyes as the darker-haired young man smiled charmingly, offering a hand to Senritsu, who quirked an eyebrow at Kurapika, as if to say, "Well?"

"That won't be necessary," he said, shouldering away the other guy and pulling Senritsu up.

"Why? There'll be plenty more dances, you can give one up, can't you?" the other one said.

Kurapika glared at him as he wrapped his arms around her protectively, holding her as tight to himself as he could. "I'm too selfish to share her for even one minute," he said lowly. "There's only one lifetime to enjoy her."

She blushed deeply at that.

.

"Only two more pairs left!" she chirped happily, taking out the package they'd just acquired and gazing at it with a smile.

Kurapika's expression, frozen into sternness as he gazed at the passing road in the muted quietness of the car, softened slightly as he watched her gaze at the eyes, hynotized by their motion inside the glass containers. She was not looking at them greedily, or even just astounded by their beauty, but because they represented a step closer to the reaching of his goal, and after that, there would be soft evenings, gentle mornings, in which they could study together, work together, live together.

He had already given up on his previous goal of annihilating the Spiders. What was the point, when the thing he wanted most was already with him?

He smiled and turned back to his driving.

She broke her gaze at the Eyes and looked up at him. The deaths of Uvogin and Pakunoda had left deep scars on him, she knew; but as long as she was with him, she knew he would never try to kill again.

.

He was sighing loudly. And constantly. Senritsu knew, knew that this couldn't be a good sign.

She joined him where he sat at the kitchen table, head dejectedly dropped on his folded arms. It was mid-morning, white-yellow light slanting in at a high angle where it hit the creamy oak surface of the table. She could swear, she'd never seen him looking this hopeless before.

She slid into a chair adjacent to his and began stroking his golden hair. "Kurapika, what's wrong?"

He merely groaned and refused to answer.

She waited patiently for a minute, still stroking his hair, playing with his earring. "Whatever it is, won't you tell me? Can't I help in any way?"

"You wouldn't understand," he said, bluntly, voice reflecting posture. She smiled a little, but was still worried.

"Are you sure I can't help?" He shook his head back and forth. Suppressing the sigh she felt welling up, she got up and walked toward the stove.

"Well, I'll make some tea. Nothing a good cup of tea can't fix, right?"

Her cheery statement was met by a little desperate whine.

The kettle had already begun its tinny cry when Kurapika lifted his head for the first time and cast sunken eyes in her direction. "Senritsu..."

"Yes?" she asked expectantly, pouring the hot water into a teapot with fresh leaves in a strainer.

"This...I should have expected it to happen for a long time, now, but..."

She set down the kettle and came back over to sit with him, placing a hand gently on his arm.

"You see, it's normal, natural, but it just...such a daily hassle...and of course I can't let it grow in..."

Her eyes drifted down from his droopy green eyes and found their mark on his chin, covered with light, but distinct, wiry hairs.

She couldn't keep it down, not even for him. It was just...too funny...and...she burst into laughter.

She laughed so much that Kurapika really started to get annoyed, which didn't happen very often around her, and grabbed her head on both sides. "Don't...laugh..." he gritted out.

"Okay, okay," she said, subsiding into giggles. "Ah...ah...you...you just...have so much evil...in your life...but really...when it comes down to it...this is what gets you depressed..." She wiped away tears of mirth.

His face softened, broke out into a smile. "I guess you're right," he said, releasing her. Then he stood up, shoving the chair backwards as he did so. "Anyway," he said grimly, "I'll have to visit a department store and find a razor today. If this...thing...grows in, I'll look ridiculous."

Secretly, she thought so too; it would be barely noticeable and patchy; but as the dutiful girlfriend that she was, she piped up, "Oh, no, it would look very...masculine..."

"Out of place, in other words."

A snort leading into a fresh set of giggles served as his reply.

.

"I love a full moon." (Sigh).

Kurapika looked over at Senritsu where she lay next to him, on the grass, and reached over his hand to squeeze hers. "I love the fact that I can lie out here with you and look at a full moon," he said, smiling.

She threw him a flirtatious look. "Are you saying you don't actually enjoy looking at the moon itself, and you wouldn't even be out here if it weren't for me?" she asked coyly.

He gave her a look that might have been a petulant smile. "No. And...yes." He cast his gaze back upwards, ruminating, "I guess..." he started slowly, "I guess it's just that it's a full moon that I don't like it."

She gave him a confused look. "That's strange. Most people like the full moon best."

"Mm." He thought for a minute. "It's just...it seems so...flashy, overstated, I don't know what to call it." He plucked a couple of blades of grass from the ground and tossed them at her. "But you are here. Who cares if the moon is full or not?"

She wrinkled her nose as the grass blades stuck to her hair. "Mean thing." She grabbed a handful herself, sitting up, and threw it vindictively back at him.

He narrowed his eyes, blowing the grass out of his bangs. "Oh, I see...you want to get into this battle, huh?"

Her eyes widened as he menacingly crept towards her on his knees. "No...Kura...Ack! Hahaha!" She attempted to squirm free as he pinned her and began tickling her sides. "Ah...Kurapi...stop that...stop...ahahaha!"

"What, you want more?" he said with a grin, changing his targeted area.

"Augh! Can't...breath...hahahaha!" Then suddenly she stiffened noiselessly.

"Um...that's not...ticklish..."

He looked down where he was holding her and immediately blushed very red. "So...sorry!" He gulped as he removed his hands and scooted away from her like two similar polar ends of a magnet.

Her mouth was twitching. He was really so easy to embarrass. But she decided to let him off the hook for now.

"Look! There's a shooting star!" she said, pointing up, so that he followed her hand and forgot about what had just happened.

"Where?" he blinked.

"You must have just missed it," she said. In truth, there was no shooting star to begin with. It was merely a distraction technique.

They both relaxed back down into the grass, gazing up at the sky.

"Kurapika?"

"Hm?"

"You know what the most wonderful thing about the rest of my life is?"

"What's that?"

"It's that you'll be there."

.

Senritsu frowned a little, jabbing at the key with her index finger a couple of times.

"F6 is jammed again," she announced to the blond-haired statue on the other side of the small living room, eyes glued to a book. "How in the world am I supposed to play this Schubert piano sonata if...Ah..."

She hopped up and crept up on Kurapika, dipping her head down a little to read the title. It was in Arabic, so she gave up after a minute and instead scrutinized the one completely engrossed in reading it. He didn't even blink when she flirtily played with the buttons on her blouse.

At this point, she panicked, thinking she'd lost him completely. Perhaps; or perhaps she felt like some mischief since she couldn't practice and thought he should suffer, too. In any case, the result was that one minute Kurapika was deeply enjoying Admad ibn Majid's treatise on navigation, and the next it had been rudely plucked from his hands and was departing from him at a high speed.

He deduced the natural forces which must have been responsible instantly, and gave charge.

The first place she, giggling, sought refuge was behind the kitchen island.

"Senritsu," he said, starting one way and finding that she went the other, then switching, "Give me back _Kitab al-Fawa i'd fi_..."

He was met by a negative sound as she held up the book for him to see and, waggling her head, hid it back behind her back.

He narrowed his eyes. "Fine, but don't tell me it's my fault."

Using nen, he zipped around to the other side, and grabbed wildly for either the petite girl or the book—he wasn't altogether picky about which one he captured at this point. To his disappointment, he found himself grasping air in the middle of the kitchen, and her on the other side, sprinting toward the hall.

Nen against nen battles were pretty pointless between the two of them, he'd discovered early on, particularly since she made up for her comparative lack of speed by reading his intentions through his heart beat. Of course, he'd forgotten, yet again...

He idly considered using his chains, but decided against it, not wanting to accidentally hurt her.

She let him catch her in the bedroom, where he pinned her against the wall and gave her an expectant look. "My book, if you please?"

She shook her head merrily, still hiding the unoffending Majid behind her back, until he stopped her movement by pressing his forehead up against hers, just barely able to make eye contact in the close ocular vicinity.

"There's a tax," she told him seriously, and then bit her lower lip, drawing the teeth back across slowly so that they left a white wave of a line which he found irresistible (and thanked God that her teeth were normal now, as opposed to in the past).

"I'm willing to pay," he breathed, and then crooked his head to capture her lips with his.

.

The light hazed in from the lightly veiled curtains, hitting his face and causing his eyes to flicker open.

He took a deep breath of the cool, fresh morning air, stirring the translucent curtains as it drifted in. Outside, where crooked shadows glinted off the bare branches of newly budding trees, he could hear the earliest birds begin their erratic sonata.

The soft cotton of ivory sheets slid off his bare chest as he sat up, groaning slightly and scrubbing his face with his hands. Everything felt the same, but different, as if some veil had been lifted from his mind.

He felt a gentle stirring next to him and looked over at the petite figure lying on her side. Gently, he brushed the silky hair that tangled over her face to behind her ear, his fingers lingering over the baby-soft skin of her cheek. The sheets were drawn up underneath her arm, leaving her back and shoulders bare.

He couldn't believe how lucky he was.

Presently, she rolled over onto her back, moaning softly as she stretched and opened her eyes. His kind, surprised gaze caught hers as she stared up at him, trying to remember.

Then she did, and shyly smiled at him.

He leaned down carefully, strong arms on either side of her. "Good morning," he whispered, drawing his face down to plant a soft kiss on her lips. She giggled slightly as he did so. "Good morning," she replied.

.

It was so delicate, so carefully placed, each note lingering in suspended harmony.

"I remember this piece," he said as he came around the piano, tracing his finger along the riveted edge of the piano.

She smiled as she scooted over, making room for him on the bench. There was no hesitation this time as he sat down next to her and put an arm around the back of the bench where she sat.

Their eyes met, though she didn't stop playing, and he leaned in to kiss her, lingeringly, before carefully placing both his hands on top of hers. She shivered at the intimate touch, his fingers following hers as they floated over the keys.

He closed his eyes, remembering that day, two years ago. She had still been Old Senritsu then, in more ways than one, and he had been slightly uncomfortable, though a weird electric feeling had passed from his hands up into his shoulders and chest.

At a certain point, the music became too inconvenient for the two of them to play together, and he released his touch, leaning back and listening to her finish the piece. When she was done, she gave him the stern eye of a music teacher, though the shine made it most impotent, as she asked, "And has my student been practicing recently?"

He laughed a little self-deprecatingly as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Sorry...this week has been so busy..."

She put on a disappointed look and tsked at him. "My goodness, Kurapika, how in the world are you going to get any better if you don't practice?" She continued wagging her head at him until he cupped it in his hands and forced her to look up at him.

She knew it wasn't his fault he hadn't practiced. It had been a rough week, after all; they'd collected two pairs of eyes that week alone, since they were in the same area, and she had to admit he looked exhausted. But it wouldn't last for too much longer.

Right now, that was the last thought on his mind as he bent down and kissed her deeply. As she felt his lips and tongue roving over her mouth, she thought to herself, Oh, well. He's a fast learner, and we've got years ahead of us anyway, for me to teach, and him to learn, for me to love, and him to heal.

.

Turn back, turn back; don't look down that dark tunnel for the retreating steps of Euridice. She will be lost to Hades forever if you do.

Turn back, Orpheus; look forward, begin your song anew, and happiness will find its heart in you again.

**Author's Notes: **These little "scenes" aren't in any particular order. I just wrote whatever came to mind, so assume that they jump around in time.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

**Music Suggestion: ** Stairway to Heaven by Led Zepplin

Painful...so painful...even before he opened his eyes, the sensation as though he had second degree burns all over, splitting open when he moved, wracked his body.

Let me continue to rest...let me continue to dream...I don't want to come back to "this". "This" is not the world I want to be in.

He opened his eyes anyway and stared up at the blank ceiling, perforated with holes, and the fan that rotated in lazy circles.

He raised himself to a seated position and examined his surroundings further. An IV had been placed in his right arm, and sensors on his chest were monitoring his heartbeat. He was surrounded by white plastic curtains, and outside he could hear the sounds of the rest of the hospital.

Where am I? What happened?

He was getting a little tired of that question.

It was about half an hour later when an African nurse came in, briskly sweeping aside the curtains, and looking in surprise at Kurapika, who had scooted himself backwards in the bed to lean against the wall at the head of the bed and was in the act of tying back his hair with a random rubber band he'd found on the table beside the bed.

"Ah, you're awake!" the nurse said, giving him a smile as he moved over to check on the vitals records. "Your condition is still unknown," he informed him, "but your friends will be happy to know that you're back among the conscious."

Kurapika regarded the nurse confusedly. "How long...have I been like this?"

"About two weeks."

"Two weeks..." Kurapika sighed inwardly. It was probably early June; if he calculated in the week between his friends' capture and "rescuing" Killua, it meant that, according to Kuroro, he had a little less than a week left.

And so much to do in that time, he thought.

The nurse gave him a surprised and worried look when he started pulling out the various cords hooking him up to the hospital machinery. "Sir...you can't do that...sir..."

"I'm sorry, but I have to...please tell my friends I'm sorry...I can't see them before I leave."

"No, sir...Sir! You're still unstable, you need to stay here..."

The nurse's words trailed off behind him as he walked out of the room, still in his hospital gown, carrying his clothing under one arm.

Gon...Killua...Leorio...will I ever see you again?

Well, the first thing was this: there was a place to visit, and a life to restore. Whatever happened after that...

.

He stood there, deep in thought, steeped in regret.

Somewhere beneath his feet, in the soft earth marked with a simple upside-down cross, was the body of a beautiful geisha who had not deserved to die.

Not far away stood the wretched house, the front room still charred from the last battle. Inside, he knew, a room was still stained with browning blood.

He knelt gently and regarded the cross. Tears invaded his eyes and he let them fall, watering her grave.

How could I have ever thought I was good enough for you? he asked himself. What cruel twist of fate caused me to be the one to find you? We were not meant to be; I was not right for you, and I knew it from the beginning.

Yet, the sweet moments, the dark moments, even the pain I caused you, the arguments...if only they could continue...

Well, I believe in an afterlife, even if Kuroro does not.

Wait for me, Akatsuki, where heavy-hooded Charon gloams at the meeting of Styx and Acheron.

I will see you soon.

.

Somehow, it seemed that whatever restrictions the Spiders had placed to make Shizuku's whereabouts unknown to him, had been lifted. At any rate, he wondered how it had been so difficult before to find her, when this time, already, he was standing in that room while Shizuku's hosts looked at him somewhat askance.

Now that he was in Hokkaido, he felt uneasy, knowing that he should go say goodbye to Setsuko, but afraid of her response to him. He wasn't worthy to ask for her forgiveness yet. But this was more important now; for all the wrongs that he had done, he only had time to make this one thing right.

He focused only on the black-haired girl, reading as always, where she sat in a full armchair.

Would she recognize him? The thought somewhat chilled his blood. He didn't want her to remember some things...namely, how cruel he had been to her.

He put aside his pride and approached. "Shizuku."

She looked up, a blank look in her eyes. "Ano...dare ga desu ka?"

"I'm Kurapika." He came closer and knelt in front of the chair she was sitting in. "I want to try to help you, if I can."

"Watashi wa daijoubu desu yo." She turned back to her book.

He took a deep breath and inched closer. Before she could react, he sealed her forehead with his hand, praying that this would work.

Akatsuki...just this last time, lend me your help.

She closed her eyes at his touch and, while red flame danced from the tips of his fingers into her head, let her mouth gape open.

He released his hold, and leaned back as she opened her eyes.

"Shizuku. Do you recognize me?"

"No. I never saw you before in my life." Then she frowned. "Shalnark...where is he? He said...he would always be here." She looked down, and a little tear fell down her face. "Shalnark...I want to see him..."

He let a little smile spread over his face. "Well then, I will take you to him."

.

He flexed his hand experimentally, noting how much less flexible it was today than it had been the day before. His body was paralyzing itself from the extremities. He felt as though he was burning up from the inside.

Just a little longer...only a few more hours...

He glanced across the train room at Shizuku. "Are you ready?" he asked her.

"Ready for what?" she asked, turning pages nonchallantly.

No...please, not that...He leaned across and jerked the book down sharply, so that she looked up at him.

"Shizuku, do you remember Shalnark?"

She blinked in surprise, and pulled her book away from him annoyedly. "Of course," she answered, somewhat miffed. "How could I not remember Shalnark? Who the hell are you, anyway?"

He relaxed a little, leaning back. "All right." Then he smiled and pulled out his own book.

.

Bolonolev sat there, pondering wordlessly, listening to the others discussing around him.

"We should kill him anyway."

"..."

"He doesn't deserve to live."

"None of us do. We're all as guilty as he is."

"He betrayed us. Like Judas Iscariot betrayed the Christ."

"Danchou never really believed that Judas Iscariot was a traitor."

Demisse fell quiet, never having met "Danchou", but respecting him from the others' words anyway.

"Speaking of Danchou..." Coltopi spoke up.

Shalnark frowned at him. "Danchou...What about him, Coltopi?"

"I had a dream, last night."

Bolonolev looked up, astonished. Could it be?

"What happened?" From the look in Shalnark's eyes, he was thinking the same thing.

"I was in a dark room, with the sound of a waterfall. When I turned to look for it, I saw that it was flowing upwards, and at the bottom was Danchou."

"What did he say?" breathed Shalnark, who already knew.

"He only smiled, and told me, '"The quality of mercy is not strain'd;/ It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven/ Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest-/ It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes,/ 'Tis mightiest in the mightiest."'"

Shalnark gave a little snort. "Danchou always read too much." Then he was quiet. "But...I, too..."

"And me," spoke up Bolonolev at last.

The three Spiders of the original crop looked at each other, and a mutual agreement passed between them. The new members watched them, still confused.

Shalnark stood up and faced the rest of them authoritively. "It's unforgiveable, what 'Tenno' did. But the Spiders never were a forgiving breed, were we? It's not as if we'd forgive him to begin with."

Coltopi chewed his lip, trying to digest this.

(AN: what Shalnark said, not his lip.)

"In any case, we won't pursue. Let him come if he wants."

.

"I have a proposal to make."

Seven pairs of wary eyes met his as he stood before them, in the doorway of their headquarters, which currently was the same building as that York Shin residence they'd taken up, about six years ago.

"What do you want?" Shalnark said, his voice low and threatening. "I swear, if you even put one toe out of line, we won't hesitate to kill you this time, no matter how many of us we have to sacrifice."

"You won't have to." Pause. He held out his right hand, materializing his chains for them to see.

"Of the five chains, three were designed to fight the Spiders." He held out the Chain Jail for them to see. "The unbreakable chain to capture." He next held the Judgment Chain. "The restrictions and oaths." Finally, the silver Memory Chain. "For final punishment. And as of now, all three will disappear forever. And to make sure, I am making a new oath."

He whipped the Judgment Chain, taking care that it did not appear threatening to the rest of them, and aimed it so that it pierced his own heart. "As of now," he said, biting his lip from the pain as it entered him, the connecting chain disappearing, "I will never kill again. Nor will I seek any further vengeance."

The chains on his right hand disappeared, as if erased. There was no more need for them.

Shalnark frowned at him. "How do you know we won't just attack you while you're vulnerable?" he asked, and the others around him started up, threateningly, except for Valentyna, who stayed where she was and watched him mildly.

"When peace is made between great enemies, some enmity is bound to remain undispelled," Kanzo murmured from his corner, where Bergron stood beside him with the ever-present look of distrust in his eyes.

"I don't care," Kurapika said, "there's not much hope for me anymore. However, I want to make a deal with you. I want you to leave my friends, and everyone related to me, alone. In exchange..."

He reached around the corner of the door frame and tugged Shizuku by the hand from where she waited, still reading.

He tugged the book away from her. "Look up," he whispered.

Her eyes met the astonished brown-haired man across the room, and she smiled. He paused, and returned the smile.

"Welcome back, Shizuku."

"I'm back, Shal."

With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action.

Kurapika met Demisse's eyes across the room, and though the Ethiopian still looked hostile, they understood each other.

Some things have happened that should not have happened. But they cannot be changed.

And there was no need to continually seek revenge for what is in the past. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

.

Burning fire was invading his senses. How much longer? Four more steps? Fewer?

He willed himself to continue through the forest, trying to get as far as possible. He accepted death...he waited for it, and yet...

from whose bourn/ No traveller returns

The Undiscovered Country.  
After all, the candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. And you have burned so very brightly.

He stumbled on a root that extended from a large tree; he fell and did not rise again.

The black door opened, ushered him in. On the other side, Kuroro was standing with a "tsk" look on his face.

"You really do have a death wish, don't you," he said, facing the Kuruta, who looked over at him and gave him a raised eyebrow.

"What I want to accomplish, I have already accomplished," he said seriously, turning away. Then he was forced to look up as Kuroro snorted loudly.

"What you want to accomplish?"

"Yes. In the beginning, collecting the eyes of my people, and then taking revenge on the Spiders. Now that I've done that, and in the end I accomplished nothing, anyway; there's no need for me to continue, and I may as well just accept death since it's come to me as it is."

Kuroro sighed. "What a pointless existence, then."

Kurapika narrowed his eyes at him. "What's that supposed to mean."

"You really should try adopting question marks one of these days, Kuruta."

He rolled his eyes. "Is your main objective in death to annoy me?" he asked.

"Ah, that's better." Kuroro jumped over Kurapika's head as the blond threw a half-hearted punch in his direction. "No, no, Kurapika, listen to me first. You've been living death so long that you've forgotten how to live. Now, I'm not going to commence lecturing you on how, because truthfully, I was never there myself. But remember: there are some in this world who are meant to be evil, and some who aren't. You are meant to overcome and conquer, and in order to do that, you'll have to put in a lot of work. But consider what it is that you really love, and put aside your chains, and be free. There's no point for you to end it all now."

Kurapika gave a hoarse laugh. "It's too late," he intoned.

"No."

"What?"

"It's not too late. In the end, it's me who controls that. My nen." He gave a hoarse laugh. "I wonder what comes after death, anyway?"

Kurapika paled.

"No...Kuroro, please don't leave me..."

"Kurapika. In the end, it was never hate or love, was it?"

"Kuroro!" He lunged forward, as though to detain him by catching him and holding him there.

The man disappeared suddenly, like the screen of someone switching off a television set.

His last words echoed in Kurapika's mind.

"And the rest is silence."

.

I gasp with shaky breath, fresh air flooding my lungs as I pant there, pine needles digging into the side of my face.

Me, it's me, right? This body, this is mine, these thoughts, they are mine, these desires, they are only mine.

I feel weak again. Every offensive power I've had except my own physical strength has left me, including Kuroro's "condition".

Now that it's come down to this...do I actually...miss him? No, I decide; definitely not. And yet...there's something missing, all the same. It was a clean, not drawn out sort of goodbye. I have to thank him for that.

I roll over onto my back and look up. The periwinkle of dull dusk has already passed on from the lavender of evening, and now only midnight blue shrouds the sky as it appears above the tree tops. Around me are the sounds of the forest falling asleep and waking up.

I lay there, still, blinking, feeling empty and yet pure after the drainage of Kuroro's nen. Why do I suddenly feel like, for the first time in almost three years, it's me, this me that is capable of freedom and warmth and friendship and love?

The warm June air carries on its back the pollen of summer flowers, and I wonder, shouldn't I get going, too?

Meanwhile, there is a maiko with a musical laugh in Hokkaido who was never meant to be a geisha, and she deserves an explanation, even if she doesn't believe me. And perhaps time will be forgiving, and perhaps affection will grow out of association, and perhaps I can start to be healed again. Music was always the greatest panacea, after all.

But before that, I owe three friends of mine who have been faithful until the end. I will go and find them, and there will be a real reunion this time.

As I stand up, the moonlight hits me full in the face, and for a second, I flinch away. Then I look back up. So full...so peaceful, so blue...

Even as I watch, the ephemeral blueness that shimmers around the edges fades away, to be replaced by dull snowy white. Hadn't someone once said, "When the moon becomes pure white, its life is fading"?

Kuroro...why did you sacrifice yourself like that for me? Why didn't you drag me down to hell with you? Hell...it seems scarier, having been so close.

I'm still left with the question, Why?

I'm still left with a burning in my chest that says, I do miss him, after all. I miss the man who destroyed my tribe and left me alone, then came back to destroy me after I killed him. Why?

I consciously let a tear steal down my cheek, not checking its crusty course down my jawline.

Perhaps a Spider has a conscience, after all.

"Sayonara, Danchou."

**Author's Notes: **Yay! That's the "official" ending. I hope it was satisfactory, if a bit corny.

I have one more short chapter planned as an epilogue.

Arigato gozamashita for reading!


	21. Epilogue

Full Moon: Epilogue

**Music Suggestion: **Claire de Lune by Claude Debussy

I run a hand through my short blond hair with a disconsolate sigh. The barber had been thorough, I can say that much.

Dismissing such thoughts, I pull on a dark, long sleeved shirt and view my new image in the mirror critically. Is this enough?

Can I finally be at peace?

I shake my head, feeling the weightlessness, and think, Really, all this, and my most disguiseful feature is my expression alone. Yes; it's different. Still serious, still a little wary, but...perhaps, this was what I was meant to be like, before the Hunter exam, even.

I cast a glance with a smile over at the futon, where the pile of books I fell asleep reading have tilted like the Tower of Pisa and finally toppled during the night. When all is said and done, I am a scholar, an Aeropagetica devotee, and not a warrior, nor a maker of peace, nor an executor of justice. In the end, I prefer the feel of paper to that of cold steel; I prefer conversation and debate rather than hot combat.

For all this, I realize I won't be able to hide from all my enemies. The Spiders are no longer an issue, nor the extinct Mafia, but I've been notorious and flamboyant enough in my reign as "Tenno" that no matter where I hide, they will still root me out eventually.

I finger the black glove on my right hand thoughtfully, which hides the stigma of cruel days underneath. On a whim, I materialize my new weapon briefly and then let it go. The reverse-blade katana, a mirrored replica of that other one, comes into vague existence before disappearing again. Although I've made a mortal vow never to kill again, I've made my defense secure, this time. When they come, I will be prepared. To defend myself...and save those who are close to me from danger.

And there is one skill which I have maintained, one I stole from its rightful owner, almost a year ago, left to me like a parting gift.

Almost a year. Has it really been that long? I sigh and lean over the bathroom sink, allowing myself a couple of minutes in the past. I've learned, after all, that the most sure way of destroying your life is either to let the emotions of the past carry you away, or refuse to let them hurt you at all.

But, God, is it ever painful this way.

As I turn to walk out, something on the floor next to the futon catches my eye, and I pause to touch it thoughtfully, then allow myself a smile. Some memories are also good.

I think back, to the last time I saw Setsuko, that child, about a month ago. She's grown up a bit, finding her true calling in...what else? Teaching music. And little by little, she is forgiving me.

I remember seeing her, when I visited her at her mother's home in Hokkaido, pausing before knocking as I heard the notes float like the wispy clouds above through the open window. It was early March, still cold, although in the early spring, the sun shines its warmest beams and teases eager, naive buds from the trees and tender blades of new grass from the ground.

Her mother met me at the door and smilingly led me into the living room. This whole house, laid out in a Japanese style though it is Western built, has the golden glow of soft light on tatami mats. No modern starkness of two-toned walls or hardwood floors; this, this is a place where one can curl up just about anywhere with a book, without having to worry about being judged by the disapproving interior decoration.

Setsuko's smile is as vivacious as ever, but a little more time-sweetened. She has matured through natural means: heartaches, the death of a loved one, various disappointments, which common people, I think, find tragic, but they don't realize how good it is to grow in those ways, rather than to have evil thrown on them like a blanket smothering a fire, or worse, to never experience suffering at all.

She gave me that smile as she looked up from the tiny upright piano.

"Why, Kurapika, I wasn't expecting you, oh, dear me, look, I haven't dressed up at all..."

As I watched her flusteredly fuss with her hair and smooth the wrinkles in her robin-egg colored skirt, I thought, How beautiful that is, someone worrying about such every day things as "Do I look good enough to receive a visitor?"

I hesitated for a minute before replying. How do normal people talk? I've long forgotten.

"You look fine," I came up with at last. "I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning."

"Ah, well, I'll get some tea right away!"

"No, don't bother yourself on my account."

"I insist!" And then she was rushing off into the kitchen, leaving me in the room with the piano.

I eyed it somewhat apprehensively, as one would look on an old friend with whom one parted on bad terms. Then, deciding, I sat down on the bench and began to play a slow C major scale with my right hand.

She emerged with the tea, saying, "Oh! I didn't know you played."

I smiled at her. "I don't, really. A friend started to teach me a long time ago, before she died."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. What was her name?"

What was her name. Not, how did she die. Focusing on the life of the departed, not the death. What pure logic, logic of purity.

"Senritsu."

"It's a beautiful name."

"It is." Hesitation. Senritsu, is this okay? To move on, to mix memories of you with another person? "Setsuko, may I ask you something?"

"Of course!"

I scooted over on the bench. "Do you know 'Claire de Lune'?"

"Yes," she answered, and sat down. She thought for a minute, and then began playing. I let little tears form in my eyes like pearls as I leaned back on the bench, letting memories sweep over me.

Remembering hands on hands, sweet laughter, gentle words. Danger and safety; anger and love. It is amazing how every experience becomes dear when you witness it with the one you feel closest to.

The piece ended, and I sat back up, opening my eyes. "Thank you," I said. "That was beautiful."

"Oh, not really," she said, laughing her musical laugh, beginning to touch the back of her head and then stopping as she remembered it wasn't a very lady-like thing to do.

"No, really," I said. My gaze caught hers, and she looked at me for a minute, ponderingly.

"What?" I asked at last.

She blushed, realizing she'd been staring, and then said, "I just never noticed how blue your eyes were. Or green...I can't really tell..."

Yes, my eyes have returned from their long, black journey, and, to tell the truth, it's been months since they even turned red.

You see, the Kuruta eyes are a beautiful thing to behold when they turn scarlet, but it is the worst sign possible. Better that they remain their original color. It means we are content. The Kurutas learned long ago that beauty is never an acceptable substitute for happiness.

"I'm glad you've overcome," she added quietly. "Your soul is beautiful, you know? The beauty that comes from hardships and darkness. But in the end, you should be happy. There's no reason to continue in darkness."

As she smiled at me, and I returned her smile, I thought, You took the words right out of my mouth. As always.

Well, that was a month ago, and since then we've been exchanging letters. There is time, after all; I want her to forgive me and accept me first, and then, if it's really right, perhaps something more will come of our friendship. But I will not force it. Because if that comes, it will be forever this time. And forever is a long, long time to hold on to a promise, and thus a good reason to think long and hard about it.

I look up as a laughing, black haired teenager comes banging open my door, his white-haired accomplice in crime following over his shoulders, then complaining when he hits his head on the door mantle from jumping too high.

"Mito-san says breakfast is ready!" Gon says, smiling widely.

Breakfast...that is a very good idea, my body tells me, already quivering a little from my cursed low blood sugar. What a normal problem to have. Right now, it is welcome for that very reason, even though it still annoys me.

I smile back at Gon and take a deep breath of the fresh air floating in from Whale Island before following them into the kitchen where, if he has managed to wake up already, Leorio is likely to be.

This is a good place to heal for now...and then continue on.

Tomorrow to fresh woods, and pastures new.

_Fine_


	22. Author's Notes

Author's Notes

Wow! You made it through! (And were courteous enough to view these notes).

Yeah, this was a depressing story, and while writing it, I found myself starting to take on irritable characteristics just because of all the tension that was stewing in my brain while musing out the whys and wherefores of the plot. (I really get into this stuff, can you tell?). I just realized why Kurapika is so blastedly dark, by the way; it just so happens that I was immersed in Death Note while sketching out the story.

Oh, yes, and I must, must apologize for all the philosophical musings. Particularly about death. It's a touchie topic, especially for something as normally light-hearted as fanfiction, but it seemed very appropriate to the context of this particular story, and so...flights of fancy carry me away on wings of extrapolation. (Do I always talk like this? Regretfully...more so, particularly around harpsichords after reading "The Name of the Rose". Those two topics don't have anything to do with each other, by the way. But my friends all talk like that, too, and who cares about what anybody thinks but the company you enjoy being with, anyway? Oh, dear, more philosophizing...it's not my day...or year...or lifetime...no, wait, I guess it is.)

Anyway, I wanted to mention the quotations and allusions to other literature that I used in order to credit their (dead) authors.

The first and most obvious is Hamlet's soliloquy from Act 3, sc 1 of (what else?) Shakespeare's Hamlet. I thought the character of Hamlet would be an interesting, though obviously not direct, comparison with my idea of an older Kurapika; someone who is intelligent, strong-willed and bent on revenge, and the change from anger to what could be considered insanity. But I also wanted the comparison to work with Kuroro, too, which is why most of the quotations are interplayed in their exchanges. I ended up quoting almost all of the soliloquy, I think.

The other poems I liked to refer to are T.S. Elliot's "The Wasteland" and "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock", and John Milton's "Lycidas". I may have quoted something else, but I don't remember and I'm too lazy to wade through that long story to find them. Quotations kind of just float through my mind, and I write them down when they seem like they stick to the flypaper of my plots.

Oh! Right, Kanzo likes the "Tao Te Ching". Those bits should be pretty obvious, though.

Also, somewhere in here are fragments of L.P. Hartley's "The Go-Between" and Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice". And an allusion to "Emperor's New Groove", "Doctor Who" and "Bladerunner".

I felt particularly cheeky adding in "Not infrequently books speak of books: it is as if they speak among themselves" to chapter 18, which is a quote from "The Name of the Rose".

The low-blood sugar thing, which was meant to seem out of character for Kurapika, is my own curse. If I have to suffer, someone else should, too! Lol. None of the other characters except Bergron were intended to have any of my personal characteristics, FYI. (I think Bergron was my favorite, hehe.)

In each of the missions, I liked to have Kurapika take on the characteristics of a related revolutionist.

The first, the infamous destruction of the Palace of Westminster (although it was perfect for my purposes, I still regret it), alludes to "V for Vendetta". The conversation with Kuroro utilizes as many V words as I could, modeled after V's first speech to Evie. Also, if you'll notice, the Spiders congregate on the 1st of November and attack the palace five days later. If you're not from the UK, you might not catch this: the 5th of November is famous for Guy Fawkes:

Remember, remember, the 5th of November

The Gunpowder Treason and plot;

I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason

Should ever be forgot.

The second, the underwater base off the coast of Norway, alludes to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea by Jules Verne. The captain is named Nemo (although, if you interpreted this as an allusion to "Finding Nemo", I imagine you were a little confused which gives me a feeling of sadistic humor). The submarine is called the Nautilus, and one of the places they famously go is to Norway in the winter. A secondary illusion I made is the obvious "Hunt for the Red October". I like to think of Kurapika imagining himself as either of these two captains. Hisoka probably would, too.

The third, in the Congo (more specifically, of course, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but that's too long to sound good in a story), quotes and alludes to Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" which, besides being a remarkable piece of literature, is very disturbing and in fact is where Kurapika really lets Kuroro's nen take him over.

The final character he takes on, in the epilogue, is Rurouni Kenshin. I thought it was fitting to end with a manga character.

Okay, unless I've forgotten anything...

The various levels of "evility" that Kurapika undergoes stem from a number of sources, and kind of intertwined so much that it took me, the author, a while to sort them out and untangle them. Simply put,

Kurapika wanting revenge for his tribe leads to the killing of the Spiders (obviously)

He forgets about it for a while after he and Senritsu start hanging out and searching for the eyes, but then she gets killed, and he thinks Kuroro did it, so he kills Kuroro and starts up the Spiders again sort of as revenge. Plus, he never really let himself mourn for her, until he talks to Gon and Leorio about it, so he kind of freezes his emotions and...oh, just go for it, for f*cks sake (quoting Eddie Izzard...I told you, quotations kind of just float along...)

Finally, the real layer of his destructive devices is that the nen from Kuroro, rather than trying to kill him immediately, slowly poisons his system and starts to take over. Kuroro knows it, but at first he doesn't care, and then when he does come to care later on, he decides to remove his nen from Kurapika entirely, even if that means his real "death".

I tried to use several layers of symbolism, here are the most prevalent ones:

The full moon from his previous experience with Kuroro (when the moon is full, it starts to wane)

Music as a memory-evoker or healer, and words as being insufficient

Shizuku as a cat and Akatsuki as a bird (I also like to think of Senritsu and Setsuko as rabbits...but that's just me)

The contrast between the sweet relationship of Shalnark and Shizuku and the selfish relationship between Kurapika and Akatsuki

The remaining members of the Spiders remembering the deceased original Spiders as a eulogy

Eyes in general (giving over to "the dark side" results in black, etc.)

Akatsuki being the mediary between Senritsu and Setsuko, and Kurapika being the mediary between Kuroro and Shalnark

The color blue

The story has a triple-chiastic structure. A quarter of the way through, you find out Senritsu died; half of the way through, you find out it's Kuroro's nen which is poisoning Kurapika's mind, and the last quarter is devoted to Kurapika healing.

The number of OCs I introduced were a bit intimidating to me, as an author, having to make them believable and develop their character in such a short piece of fiction. Each of their names is indicative of their character:

Valentyna: Ukranian for "strong"

Kanzo: Um...actually just sounds like Hanzo, lol

Bergron: Swedish for "mountain stream"

Demisse: Ethiopian for "destroyer"

Akatsuki: Japanese for "red moon"

Setsuko: Japanese for "little melody"

I kind of picture Akatsuki as a little like Ayumi Hamasaki, that kind of untouchable beauty. I kind of think of Setsuko as having the transparency of Chiaki Ishikawa, although I wanted her to carry over Senritsu's musicality.

I actually ended up changing each of their names (except Kanzo) at least once while plotting out their characters in the early stages of the story. I changed Akatsuki's four times.

The character of Kurapika actually started out darker in my original conception of the story, but I was forced for the sake of sanity to tone him down a bit.

Also, I always intended to kill off Akatsuki from the moment I thought of her character. Senritsu was a bit of an accident, though. At first I thought of having her as we know her in the anime to come confront Kurapika somewhere in the middle (because I didn't really want to destroy the happily ever after of "Notes on a Kuruta"), but after a while, it just became obvious that that was what needed to happen.

I've never actually been to any of these places, so I had to do several hours of research in order to get a clearer idea of the places I was sending the characters to. I realize that in the original manga, it's kind of a backwards world, but I didn't want to muck up Togashi's world, so I set it in the real one. It did end up being a lot of work, though...

I admit I don't really think like a writer; I wrote the fic like I would compose a piece of music, the result being a scattered and sometimes random collection of words. Let me give you an idea (I assume you've already stopped reading by now, so this is purely so that I can try to figure out myself how I ended up with what I ended up with.)

Wrote and published ch 1

Laid out rough framework, including characters, a few themes, and chapters (originally 15)

Wrote ch 2

Changed all character's names (except Kanzo)

Wrote ch 3; published ch 2

Wrote last section of ch 20

Changed Akatsuki's name twice more

Decided Senritsu had to die (thus making it a double sequel)

Wrote ch 4-7; published ch 3

Decided to go with the "Hamlet" theme; went back and layered it in to the previous chs

Published ch 4

Wrote ch 8-9

Wrote ch 19

Began adding in music themes

Published ch 5

Wrote ch 10 and Akatsuki's death

Decided on Setsuko as an actual romantic interest

Extended final layout to 20 chapters plus epilogue

Published ch 6

Wrote epilogue

Wrote ch 11 and 12

Skipped ch 13; wrote ch 14-16

Published ch 7

Went back, revised, added more themes, revised characters

Wrote most of author's notes (this section)

Wrote ch 17

Wrote ch 13

Published ch 8

Reworked the idea of Kuroro's nen considerably

Finished final chapter

Wrote the pure-fluff addendum, "If a Kiss" (will publish at demand)

Put off writing ch 18

Put it off some more

Went back and began revising spelling errors and removing inconsistencies

Published ch 9

Published ch 10

Finally finished off ch 18

Continued to publish remaining chapters.

Well, now that it's all over, I'm a little embarassed at the low quality and corniness of this fanfic (laughs). Writing isn't my true calling, of course, so I'll lay aside the quill for a bit and get back to my music.

Finally, just to go completely over the top, here is a bibliography:

Shakespeare, William. _The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark_. Ed. Fergusson. New York: Dell Publishing Co. Inc., 1958. Print.

Shakespeare, William. _The Merchant of Venice_. Ed. Kittredge. Boston: Ginn and Company, 1945. Print.

Eliot, Thomas Steams. "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." _T S Eliot: The Wasteland and Other Poems._ New York, London: Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc, 1934. 8. Print.

Eliot, Thomas Steams. "The Wasteland." _T S Eliot: The Wasteland and Other Poems._ New York, London: Harcourt, Brace & World, Inc, 1934. 29, 30. Print.

Hartley, Leslie Poles. _The Go-Between_. New York: New York Review Books, 1953. Print.

(attributed to) Tzu, Lao. _Tao Te Ching_. Trans. Lau. London: Penguin, 1963. Print.

Smith, John. _How to Tell if your Readers are Actually Reading your Bibliography_. Ed. Gooblygock. Sunken Continent of Atlantis: Made up on the Spot Publishing Company. 4571 BC. Brainfart.

Conrad, Joseph. "Heart of Darkness." _The Norton Anthology of English Literature_. 5th ed. Eds. Ford, Christ. New York, London: W.W. Norton & Company, 1986. 1814-1880. Print.

Eco, Umberto. _The Name of the Rose_. San Diego: Harcourt Brace & Company, 1980. Print.

Milton, John. "Lycidas." _The Riverside Milton_. Ed. Flannagan. Boston, New York: Houghton Mifflin Company: 1998. 107. Print.

Thank you so much for your patience with my story! Arigatou gozaimashita!


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